"I hope so," I said.
"Of course it will be."
"Blackmailers have a habit of coming back and asking for more."
"I shan't give her any more."
"You should never have given her anything in the first place. What you should have done was confessed to your mother. It is always unwise to submit to blackmail. I've heard that said many times."
"By people who are not being blackmailed, I suppose."
"Perhaps."
"Well, it was worth it to me to shut her up. She said she was going to marry that Hon... . whatever his name was ... and she would have been set up for life, for he was quite rich. But he died in the fire. It was just good luck for Janine that she was away that night."
I was thoughtful. "Lavinia," I said, "you will have to confess."
"Confess? Why ever should I?"
"Because it's got to come out. There's Fleur."
"She's all right. She's happy with those two nice old women."
"For the moment. But she will have to be educated. Polly and Eff will have to be paid for keeping her. Why don't you tell your mother?"
"Tell my mother! I don't think you know my mother."
"I assure you that everyone around here knows Lady Harriet very well."
"I just can't think what she would do."
"She would be horrified, but she would certainly do something, and something has to be done."
"I could never tell her."
"Your brother has seen Fleur."
"What?"
"I went to London and he was on the train. He saw where I was staying. He came there one day when I was taking Fleur out in her pram."
She had turned pale.
"He was suspicious," I said. "I want you to tell him the truth, because he suspects the baby is mine."
She tried to disguise the look of relief that came onto her face.
I went on, "You must tell him. He can't go on with this half-truth."
"Youdidn't tell him!"
"Of course not. But I do object to his sly references, and I think you ought to tell him the truth right away."
"I couldn't possibly tell him."
"Why not? I don't suppose he has led a blameless life."
"It's all right for men. It is girls who have to be so pure."
"Obviously there are some who are not. I don't suppose you are the only one who has indulged in premarital adventures."
"Oh, Drusilla, I do rely on you."
"Far too much. I am not going to be insulted by your brother."
"He wouldn't insult you."
"He would and he has ... and I want him to know the truth."
"I ... I'll think about it."
"If you don't tell him, I might be tempted to."
"Oh, Drusilla ... first Janine and now you ..."
"This is quite different. I'm not blackmailing you. I am merely asking you to tell the truth."
"Give me time. Just give me time. Oh, Drusilla, you have always been my best friend. Promise you won't say anything ... yet."
"I wouldn't say anything without telling you first, but I won't have your brother hinting ... at things."
"However did you let him guess there was a baby!"
"I told you ... he followed me."
"But why should he follow you? It could only be that he suspected something like this. It's not as though ..."
"I am the sort of girl men follow?" I finished for her. "Nobody could be interested in me, of course."
"Well," she began.
"Don't feel you have to wriggle out of that," I said. "I know I'm not the beauty you are."
"Well, there is that Mr. Brady. Mama thinks it would be most suitable."
"Do thank her for her concern," I said.
"She likes everything to run smoothly in the neighbourhood."
"I am sure she does. But I don't propose to be someone's neat ending to a problem."
"Oh ... look who's coming."
I looked and saw Dougal approaching us.
"Mama invited him," went on Lavinia. "Do you know, he is an earl now. Mama insisted that he come and stay."
I was pleased to see him. My friendship with him had been so refreshing and promising. His regard for me restored my faith in myself.
"Oh ... Drusilla ... Lavinia," he said. He was smiling at us. Lavinia was standing a little apart. The faint wind ruffled the tendrils and as she put up a hand to her hair the green material of her loose, rather Grecian-style gown flapped round her, clinging to her figure.
Dougal could not take his eyes from her. I saw the light in them and I remembered his adoration of beautiful objects.
He looked rather startled, as though he were seeing something for the first time. It was the new Lavinia, in her studiedly simple gown with her escaping curls and her tigerish eyes.
I knew in that moment that he had fallen in love with her or that he was on the brink of doing so.
The moment passed. He was smiling his gentle smile at me, asking how my father was, telling me that he would be soon coming to see us if he might.
I said my father would be delighted.
"I have discovered two new books on the Conquest," he said. "I must bring them over."
I was not thinking so much of the Norman Conquest as of Lavinia's.
I did not go into the house with them. I excused myself. "There is so much to do at the rectory."
"Even now you have that nice curate," said Lavinia a little roguishly. "I hear you and he get on very well together."
"He is very efficient," I said.
"I am so glad you came and that he is so nice," said Lavinia. "Well, see you soon, Drusilla. Drusilla and I are the greatest friends," she went on, turning to Dougal. "We always have been." Some spirit of mischief seemed to take hold of her. I think she knew of my feelings for Dougal. She was also aware that he had just been blinded by her great beauty. A few moments before she had been terrified that her secret might be revealed, but now she had forgotten the past and was revelling in the present. Admiration always stimulated her. "Drusilla and I were at school together. It was in France."
"I know," Dougal told her.
"That sort of thing draws people together," went on Lavinia. "We had some exciting times there, didn't we, Drusilla?"
She was laughing at me, triumphing over the spell she had cast on Dougal. She would have heard rumours of his attachment to the rectory and its inhabitants; she was savouring her triumph to such an extent that she forgot to be anxious about Janine.
I felt angry, humiliated and hurt. I went back sombrely to the rectory.
Mrs. Janson said, "That Lady Harriet is making a dead set at that Mr. Carruthers ... oh, beg his pardon, the Earl of Tenleigh if you please. Well, it stands to reason. That Miss Lavinia goes up to London. The most beautiful debutante, they say ... the Debutante of the Season. All very well, but where's this duke that Lady Harriet thinks she's going to get? All that season and not one in sight. I reckon that won't please her ladyship. An earl will have to do, and what's she doing going up to London when she's got one right on her own doorstep? I can tell you, there are some goings-on up at the House. Lady Harriet says he must come. She insists ... and earl as he is, he can't refuse Lady Harriet. I reckon something will come of this. Lady Harriet will see to it."
That was what I overheard, and when I appeared she was silent. I was sure that long ago they had paired me off with Dougal as a first and Colin Brady as a second.
Mrs. Janson liked Dougal and he had been a frequent visitor. They were sure he was, as they said, "sweet on me." But now Lady Harriet was making a rare fuss of Dougal. Mrs. Janson had it from the maids there. "Now that he's got this title and money it's been a leg up for him. Before, he was just a friend of Sir Fabian's ... treated just like one of them young boys from the school. Now it's a different matter. We didn't see him so much then ... Why, there was a time when he seemed to make the rectory his home."
He did come over to bring the books he had spoken of. My father was delighted to see him and they had long discussions together. I went in and joined them. I did fancy he was a little subdued with me. He made a special effort to include me in the conversation, whereas previously it had been done without effort. I remembered how we had talked just before he left, when I had been foolish enough to think that he was on the point of making a declaration.
It was a bitter blow to my pride rather than to my deep emotions. I was not sure what I really felt about Dougal, except that he was a very pleasant and interesting friend. I had allowed myself to envisage a future with him and I had believed it could be very rewarding. How foolish I had been! Of course, he liked to talk to me about things that interested him, and he would never be able to talk to Lavinia in that way. But that was not love. It was not what people married for. The beauty of Lavinia had suddenly struck him and he could not help but marvel at it.
I did not go over to the stables for I would not avail myself of Fabian's offer. I wanted to take nothing from him. Moreover, I avoided Framling, for fear of meeting him.
I was in the rectory garden one day when he came riding by.
"Drusilla," he called. "It is such a long time since I saw you."
I merely replied, "Good morning," and turned to go into the house.
"I trust you are well. And your father?"
"Thank you, yes."
"You know, of course, that Dougal is here."
"He has been to see my father."
"And you too, I daresay. I know what good friends you are."
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