“But what if . . .”

“Do you want me to take over?” Maddie asked. “I took a refresher course after Dustin was born.” But Avery was already pressing her palms into Deirdre’s chest. She couldn’t stop. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t allow herself to think the thing that was stealing into her gut. That it was already too late. That no amount of breathing and pounding on Deirdre’s chest was going to make a difference. Tears ran down Avery’s cheeks. They fell on Deirdre’s. But she didn’t stop.

Because the only reason to stop would be if Deirdre were already dead.

Chapter Forty-five

Afterward Avery didn’t remember much of anything. Not the ride in the Coast Guard boat to Bud N’ Mary’s or the frantic race to Mariners Hospital in the ambulance as the fire department’s EMS team worked to save Deirdre. Not the doctor’s face when he pronounced Deirdre DOA of multiple brain aneurisms and asked whether she was an organ donor. A question Avery didn’t know the answer to any more than she knew where or how Deirdre would want to be buried.

The trip back to Mermaid Point seemed to take place on the other side of a scrim of Bubble Wrap, distant and out of focus, not quite real but unavoidably true. No matter how many times the scene played out in her mind she couldn’t change the outcome, couldn’t save Deirdre, couldn’t seem to process how this could have happened. How she could have lost the mother she’d only just regained.

They huddled on Mermaid Point staring hollow eyed at the beauty that surrounded them, trying to absorb their loss, doing what they could to comfort each other, until Chase arrived to drive her up to Tampa in the Mini Cooper. Bringing with him the incomprehensible news that Deirdre’s will called for her to be laid to rest in a spot that was waiting for her next to Avery’s father.

“We’ll be there as soon as we tie everything up here.” Maddie and the others hugged her good-bye. “Just let us know when you have the service scheduled.”

Avery dozed for much of the drive to Tampa and fell into a deep and troubled sleep minutes after Chase tucked her into his bed. She awoke the next morning no less tired or troubled. On the day of Deirdre’s funeral she stood graveside with Chase’s arm around her, Maddie, Kyra, Nicole, and Joe surrounding her, while her mother’s coffin was lowered into the ground beside her former husband.

“I can’t believe she’s gone. I was just getting used to having her back. I . . .”

“I know.” Maddie put her arms around Avery and held her tight, rocking her like a small child. “It was too soon, but I keep thinking how happy she was to be back in your life. I know how much that meant to her.”

Avery swiped at the tears that she couldn’t seem to stop shedding. “God, I feel like a faucet. I haven’t cried like this since . . .” Her eyes went to her father’s grave and more tears spilled down her cheeks. They were salty on her tongue, heavy with loss and regret. “I still can’t believe they wanted to be buried together. She left so long ago. I . . . I never even . . . He hadn’t mentioned her for years before he died.” So many things she hadn’t known and didn’t understand.

They left the graveside doing their best to avoid the photographers camped outside the cemetery gates. But more were waiting on the sidewalk across from Chase’s house. Nigel and the potato-faced photographer had changed out of their Keys T-shirts and flip-flops presumably out of respect or perhaps just the change in weather, but that didn’t stop them from shouting questions or begging for clean shots of Dustin and Kyra.

Flowers and fruit baskets and other fancy edibles arrived in a steady stream from Deirdre’s Hollywood friends and former clients. Nicole and Joe dealt with the delivery people and fended off the bolder photographers and reporters. Each time there was a delivery the pleas for photos began anew. “They seem to think William Hightower and Daniel Deranian are hiding in here somewhere,” Nicole said drily.

“Not likely.” Maddie watched the jostling through the window. “Will wanted to come, but we were afraid it would make the paparazzi even more aggressive. I guess even professional stalkers can fall victim to wishful thinking.” When she mentioned William Hightower Maddie’s voice sounded pretty wistful, too.

In the kitchen Avery surveyed the space where Deirdre had practiced her newfound cooking skills and clucked around everyone, clearly relishing the motherly role she’d refused to play during Avery’s childhood. “I spent most of my life without her and now I feel like this piece of me is missing.”

“I know it hurts.” Maddie’s eyes brimmed with sympathy. “I just keep telling myself how lucky she was. Not everyone gets to resolve things with the person they love most in the world like Deirdre did.”

Avery’s throat tightened. Their reconciliation had happened against her will; she’d fought it every single step of the way. Between her stubbornness and her pride it might never have happened if Deirdre hadn’t persevered. She was so incredibly thankful that Deirdre hadn’t given up.

* * *

After the months of noise and people, Mermaid Point felt eerily silent. The Do Over cast and crew had left just a few days behind Avery. Roberto had given Will a hearty clap on the back and left shortly after them, his sunset boat appropriately enough disappearing into the sunset. Tommy had had to head back to work, leaving Will well and truly alone. That was when he’d realized that the privacy he’d always thought he craved was just one more evasion; that he’d never allowed anyone to get close enough to matter.

He’d ferried Maddie, Kyra, and Dustin to Bud N’ Mary’s, where Dustin had given him a huge hug and an enthusiastically sloppy kiss on the cheek when Will presented him with his very own ukulele.

“Tanks, Billyum!” the boy said.

Kyra and Maddie had hugged him good-bye, too, and he’d held on to Maddie a little longer than he should have. He’d felt a surprising stab of loss when he put the last of their things in the back of the minivan then stood clutching the note Maddie had pressed into his hand while he watched their taillights disappear on U.S. 1.

His home, his island, his entire life had been cleaned up and put in order. What choices he made next, what paths he chose, would be up to him.

It had taken him two days to open the note. It had been short and to the point. It had read, I’m so glad to have known you and even gladder to have had a small part in getting Mermaid Point ready for its new guests.

Stop hiding from who you are. You were born to make music. Your fans are waiting. Don’t let us down. Madeline.

He’d reread it a ridiculous number of times and then spent an even more ridiculous amount of time contemplating the lack of anything remotely personal—no “yours truly” or “fondly,” not even “sincerely”—before her signature. He then spent another two days assuring himself that he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to just because Madeline Singer thought he should.

When he finally walked the newly cleared path to the studio he’d sworn he’d never enter, he stood for a long time staring at the exterior that Maddie had pressure washed, the windows that she’d cleaned, the key as heavy as a brick in his pocket.

The door stuck and he had to put his shoulder to it to get it open. He stood in the doorway for a long time with his heart racing at speeds he didn’t think it was meant to reach. Unable to step inside, unwilling to turn and run. He waited it out like he’d learned to wait for the craving for booze and oblivion to pass. Waited until his heartbeat slowed.

His cased guitars leaned against a wall; his fingers tingled at the sight of them and his mouth went dry. He recalled when and why he’d bought each one. A wave of memories washed over him: his brother’s face; the warmth of the bright lights onstage; the polished wood in his palm; the press of the strings against the callused pads of his fingers. There was no pain in this wave. No guilt. No remorse. It wasn’t there to knock him down or pull him under.

Will walked inside. Opened a window to let out the stale air. Passed by the Les Paul Goldtop, the Fender Telecaster. Reached for the Gibson Acoustic and quickly restrung it, his fingers moving nimbly, remembering and responding to what he’d tried so hard to forget.

Outside he settled against the trunk of a palm tree and tuned the instrument that had once been part of him. For a time he stared out over the rocks, mesmerized by the shades of blue that shimmered in the afternoon sun. He closed his eyes when the melody floated to him on the warm ocean breeze. It riffled his hair. Caressed his cheek. Seeped inside him.

His fingers moved of their own accord, picking out the notes and chords. Plucking. Sliding. He didn’t question what came, didn’t try to alter or edit it. Wherever it came from it was imbued with the sweetness of being alive; the balm that could soothe a soul if only it were open to it. The melody crested. It buoyed and lifted him. It carried all the good things he’d forgotten; the love he’d turned his back on; the future he hadn’t thought he deserved. He rode it joyfully, instinctively picking out a song that was as sweet as his brother’s smile and as warm and comforting as the sun.

* * *

The house creaked companionably as it settled, providing a counterpoint to Chase’s even breathing. Avery had put Joe and Nicole up in the garage apartment she and Deirdre had shared, unable to face it, but she couldn’t fall asleep here in Chase’s room tonight, either. After hours spent staring at the plaster ceiling, she pulled on a robe and padded out to the kitchen. For a time she stared into the open refrigerator, waiting for something to grab her attention.