“My husband?” She wondered if it was a prank. It didn't make any sense. He had only left a few minutes before. “Was he in a car accident on the way over?” But why didn't he call her himself? This was crazy.

“The caller said he had been shot,” the officer said gently.

“Shot? Jack? Are you sure?”

“They're not on the scene yet, but the caller asked us to call his wife, and gave us your number. You might want to go right over.” As Liz listened to him, she thought about going upstairs to get dressed, and then decided not to. If it was true, and Jack was hurt, she needed to get there in a hurry. She thanked the voice on the phone, and ran to the foot of the stairs to call out to Peter and tell him to keep an eye on Jamie.

“I'll be back in a few minutes,” she called up to him when he acknowledged her, and she didn't wait around to explain it. She just grabbed her car keys off the kitchen counter, and headed out the door in her bathrobe. And as soon as she got in her car, and backed out of the driveway, she found herself praying… let him be okay … please God … let him be okay … please…. The words on the phone kept ringing in her head … the caller said he had been shot … shot … shot … but how could Jack have been shot? That was crazy. It was Christmas and he had to make the stuffing. All she could think of was the look on his face as he had smiled at her and walked out of the kitchen in his khakis and red sweater … the caller had been shot. …

She drove into the parking lot outside their office at breakneck speed and saw two squad cars and an ambulance with their lights flashing, and she ran inside as fast as she could to see what had happened. She raced up the stairs saying his name under her breath … Jack … Jack … as though to call out to him … to let him know she was coming, and she couldn't see him when she walked in. All she could see was the cluster of police officers and paramedics hovering around him. The paramedics were working on him, and as she looked behind them, she saw the wall of blood where Phil Parker had shot himself, and she felt dizzy the instant she saw it. His body lay below it, covered by a tarp. And then, without thinking, she shoved one of the officers aside, and was suddenly looking down at her husband. He was the color of concrete, and his eyes were closed, as instantly she put a hand over her mouth and gasped, as she dropped to her knees beside him. And then as though he knew she was there, Jack's eyes fluttered open. They had an IV in his arm, and were doing something to the wound in his chest. The sweater they had cut off lay on the bloodstained carpet beside him. There was blood everywhere, all over him and them and the carpet beneath him, and as she leaned over him, it was suddenly all over her too, but he smiled when he saw her.

“What happened?” she asked, too frightened to even absorb what was happening, or understand it.

“Parker,” he said in a whisper and closed his eyes again, as they moved him as gently and as swiftly as they could onto a gurney, but his eyes rolled back in his head as they did it, and then he looked at her again and frowned, determined to tell her something. “Love you … it's okay, Liz. …” He tried to reach out to her with one hand, but he didn't seem to have the strength, and as she ran beside the gurney with them, she could see him lose consciousness, and she was suddenly aware of an overwhelming sense of panic. They couldn't stop the bleeding, and his blood pressure was dropping uncontrollably. Somebody grabbed her roughly by the arm and pulled her into the ambulance, the door slammed, and they careened away from the curb, and both paramedics were working frantically over him, and talking tersely to each other. But he didn't open his eyes again, or speak to her, and she sat on the floor staring at what was happening, unable to believe what she was seeing, or what she was hearing. And then suddenly one of the paramedics was compressing Jack's chest, as blood gushed everywhere. The ambulance seemed to be filled with Jack's blood and she was covered with it, and she could hear the other paramedic saying over and over again … no pulse … no blood pressure … no heartbeat … as she stared at them in horror. And as they reached the hospital, they turned and looked at her and the one who had been doing the chest compressions on Jack shook his head with a look of sorrow.

“I'm sorry.”

“Do something … you have to do something … don't stop … please don't stop….” She was sobbing. “Please don't….”

“He's gone … I'm sorry …”

“He's not gone … he's not gone….”

She sobbed, bending down and clutching Jack to her. Her bathrobe was stained red by then, but she could feel him lifeless in her arms, and the oxygen mask was hissing. And then they pulled her away from him and someone led her into the hospital, sat her down, and wrapped her in a blanket, and there were strange voices all around her. They brought the gurney into the hospital then, and when she looked up, she saw that they had covered him with a blanket, and his face was covered. She wanted to take the blanket off his face so he could breathe, but they rolled him past her. She didn't know where they were taking him, and she couldn't move. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't think. She couldn't speak. There was nothing she could do now, and she didn't know where Jack was.

“Mrs. Sutherland?” A nurse was standing in front of her and spoke to her finally. “I'm very sorry about your husband. Is there someone who can come and get you?”

“I don't know … I … where is he?”

“We've taken him downstairs.” It had an ominous sound to it Liz hated. “Do you know where you'd like him taken?”

“Taken?” Liz looked at her blankly, as though she were speaking in a foreign language.

“You're going to have to make arrangements.”

“Arrangements?” All Liz could do was echo her words. She couldn't think or speak like a normal person. What had they done with Jack? And what had happened? He had been shot. Where was he?

“Is there someone you'd like me to call?”

Liz didn't even know what to answer. Who could she call? What was she supposed to do now? How had this happened? He was only going to the office for a few minutes to pick up a file, and he had to make the stuffing. And as she tried to make sense of it, one of the officers approached her.

“We'll take you home whenever you're ready.” Liz looked at him blankly, as he and the nurse exchanged a glance. “Will there be someone at home when you get there?”

“My children,” Liz said hoarsely, as she tried to stand up, but her legs were shaking and would hardly hold her, as the officer put an arm around her to support her.

“Is there someone else you'd like me to call?”

“I don't know.” Who did you call when your husband was shot? Their secretary, Jean? Carole? Her mother in Connecticut? Without thinking, she gave them Jean's and Carole's numbers.

“We'll tell them to meet you at the house.” Liz nodded, as another officer went off to make the calls, and the nurse offered her a clean hospital robe to go home with, and helped her out of the robe she was wearing that was bright red with Jack's blood now. Her nightgown was soaked with it too, but she didn't change it. She knew there were friends she could call, but she couldn't think who they were now. She couldn't think of anything except Jack, lying there, and whispering to her that he loved her. She thanked the nurse for the robe and promised to send it back, and then she walked barefoot through the hospital hallway and outside to the police officers waiting for her in the squad car. The nurse at the desk told her to call them when she had made arrangements. Even the word sounded ugly to her. Liz made no sound as she got in the back of the squad car, and she didn't even know she was crying as tears rolled down her cheeks and she stared through the grille ahead of her at the backs of the two officers driving her home. They opened the car door for her, and helped her out when they got there, and offered to come in with her. But she shook her head, and began to sob as Carole walked down the driveway toward her, and Jean drove in at exactly the same moment. And suddenly both women were holding her, and all three of them were sobbing. It was beyond belief, this hadn't happened to them. It couldn't have. It was too hideous to be true. She was trapped in a nightmare. It wasn't possible that Jack was gone. Things like this just didn't happen to real people.

“He killed Amanda too,” Jean said through tears as they stood there holding each other. The officer who'd called her had given her the details. “The kids are all right, or alive at least. They saw him do it. But he didn't hurt them.” Phillip Parker had killed Amanda and Jack, and then himself. It was a wave of destruction that had hit them all. The Parker children were orphans. But all Liz could think of now was what she was going to say to her own children, and she knew that the moment they laid eyes on her they would know that something terrible had happened. There was blood in her hair, the blood-soaked nightgown had stained through the cotton bathrobe she'd gotten at the hospital, and she looked like she'd been in an accident herself. She looked like a wild woman as she stood there, staring blankly at the other two women.

“How bad do I look?” Liz asked Carole, as she blew her nose, trying to regain her composure for her children.

“Like Jackie Kennedy in Dallas,” Carole said bluntly, and Liz cringed at the image.

She looked down at the gray cotton robe with the bloodstains still spreading on it. “Can you get me a clean robe? I'll wait in the garage … and a comb …” She stood sobbing in Jean's arms as she waited, trying to make sense of it, trying to get a grip on herself, and thinking of what she would tell the children. There was nothing she could tell them but the truth, but she knew that whatever she said now, and however she said it to them, would affect them for their entire lifetimes. It was an awesome burden. And she was still sobbing uncontrollably as Carole returned with the comb and a clean pink terry cloth bathrobe. She put it on over the gray cotton one, and combed her hair without looking.