“Can he hear me if I talk to him?”

“It's unlikely,” he said, looking at her with a frown. She was as pale as her son, but she was also a redhead and very fair. “Are you all right?” he asked, and she nodded. “We don't have time to deal with you here if you faint. If this is too much for you, you can sit in the waiting room and we'll call you if anything happens.”

“I'm not going anywhere,” she said firmly. She had lived through what had happened to Jack eight months before, and she hadn't fainted then. She hated the way this man was speaking to her, but one of the nurses had told her he was the best there was, and she was willing to believe it. But his bedside manner was appalling. He was used to life-and-death situations, and saving lives, his whole focus was on that, and not their relatives. The last thing he wanted was to have to worry about someone other than his patient. He hurried away again, to call a neurosurgeon he wanted available if needed, and a nurse came to ask her if she wanted coffee.

“No, thanks, I'm fine,” she said softly, but it was obvious that she wasn't. She looked as desperate as she felt, as worried about her son as she had once been about her husband. And all she knew was that she couldn't lose this time. It was more than she could bear just thinking of it, and every time she did, she leaned over and spoke softly to Peter.

“Come on, Peter … wake up … talk to me … it's Mom … open your eyes … talk to me … it's Mommy, sweetheart … I love you … Wake up….” It was a mantra she said over and over and over again, praying that wherever he was, in the distant recesses of unconsciousness, he could hear her.

It was two-thirty in the afternoon by then, and at four, nothing had changed, and the doctor came back and talked to her again. They were going to give Peter another hour to regain consciousness on his own, and reassess the situation then. She nodded as she listened. He hadn't stirred since he came in, but she and the doctor both agreed that his color was a little better. The doctor noticed at the same time however that hers wasn't, but he didn't say anything about it. She looked awful. And he mellowed a little bit this time as he spoke to her, but not much. He only asked if she had called the boy's father, and she shook her head, and didn't offer to explain it to him.

“You probably should,” he said cautiously, there was something in her eyes that made him hesitate, maybe a bad divorce, or some awkward situation. “He's not out of the woods yet.”

“His father died eight months ago,” she said finally. “There's no one else to call.” She had already called home and told everyone he was still alive but she wouldn't call again until she had more news about his condition. She sounded calmer than she felt. All she could do was pray now that Peter would not join his father. She was praying that the doctor could prevent that.

“I'm sorry,” he said, and disappeared again, as she looked intently at her son, and although she would have died before she told anyone, she was beginning to feel the room spin slowly around her. It was all too much for her, too terrible, too terrifying. She couldn't lose him. Couldn't. She wouldn't let him leave them. She put her head down as far as she could, and felt better, and then went back to talking quietly to Peter. And as though he had heard her prayers, he moved ever so slowly, and tried to turn his head, but they had put a neck brace on him and he couldn't. His eyes still didn't open. She started talking to him in a stronger voice then, urging him to open his eyes and talk to her, or blink if he could hear her, squeeze her hand, move his toe, anything. But there was no sign from Peter, until at last he let out a soft moan, but it was impossible to tell if it was a sound he had made unconsciously, or in response to what she was saying to him. And a nurse came running as soon as she heard him. She checked his vital signs again, looked at the monitors, and ran to get the doctor. Liz couldn't tell if it was a good sign or not, but she kept talking to him, and begging him to hear her. And just as the doctor came back again, Peter moaned again, and this time his eyes fluttered open as she stood next to him, looking down at him with hope and terror.

“Mmmmmmmmoooommmmmm …” he said in a long agonized sound, but she knew what he had said, and so did Bill Webster. He had said “Mom,” though with excruciating effort. And tears were pouring down her cheeks as she leaned closer to him and told him how much she loved him. And when she glanced back at the doctor, much to her amazement, he was smiling.

“We're getting there. Keep talking to him. I want to run some more tests on him.” Peter's eyes had closed again, but he opened them as she continued to talk to him, and he let out a horrible moan this time and squeezed her hand almost imperceptibly. But he was coming around, and moving ahead, by millimeters, if nothing more.

“Owwwwwwww,” he said, looking at her with a frown. “Owwww …” he said again, and she moved toward the doctor.

“He's in pain,” she said softly, and Bill Webster nodded.

“I'll bet he is. He's got one hell of a headache.” He was putting something in Peter's IV as he spoke to her, and a technician took more blood. And a few minutes later, the neurosurgeon came to see him. “We're getting there,” Bill Webster told him, and looked encouraged. Dr. Webster shared the latest data with him, and they told Liz that they weren't going to do surgery yet. And with luck, and some more progress, maybe they wouldn't have to. It was six o'clock by then, and she hadn't left Peter's side for an instant. “We'll keep an eye on him if you want to get a cup of coffee,” Webster offered, but she shook her head. She had no intention of leaving Peter until things had improved further, no matter how long it took. She hadn't eaten anything since that morning, but she couldn't have eaten at that point if she'd tried.

It was another hour before Peter made another sound, but this time when he did, he said “Mom” again, a little more clearly. “Hurts,” he finally added to it in a voice that was barely more than a croak, but he lifted his hand this time, and squeezed hers as much as he could. He was hardly stronger than a baby. They didn't want to give him anything for the pain and risk his slipping back into a coma. “Home,” he said finally, while the doctors watched him.

“You want to go home?” Bill Webster asked as Peter looked at him, and ever so slightly, Peter nodded. “Good. We want you to go home too, but you're going to have to talk to me some more before you go anywhere. How do you feel, Peter?” He spoke to his patient far more gently than he had to his patient's mother. But she was grateful now for what they were doing for him.

“Terrible,” Peter said in answer to his question. “Hurts.”

“What hurts the most?”

“Head.”

“Does your neck hurt?” He nodded again and then winced, it obviously pained him to move anything, and with good reason. “Does anything else hurt?”

“No … Mommy …”

“I'm here, baby. I'm not going anywhere.”

“Sorry …” he said, looking at her, and she shook her head. He had nothing to be sorry about at this point. “Stupid.”

“Yes. Very.” The doctor answered for her. “You're lucky you didn't wind up a quadriplegic from something like this.” And then he asked him to move his legs and arms, and hands and feet, and Peter did, but he could barely squeeze the doctor's fingers. But Webster and the neurosurgeon were pleased with his progress. And at nine o'clock they told Liz they were moving him to the Trauma ICU to continue to monitor him closely. “I think you can go home and get some rest. He's moving steadily in the right direction. You can come back in the morning.”

“Can I sleep here?”

“If you really want to. He should go to sleep eventually. We might even give him something to make him sleep, if he makes a little more progress. You can use the rest, you've had quite a day here.” In spite of himself, he felt sorry for her. As a rule, he tried not to get too involved with his patients, but Liz looked like she'd been through the wringer. “Do you have other kids at home?” he asked, and she nodded. “You might want to go back to them. They must be worried. He was in pretty bad shape when he came in. Did they see it happen?”

“I think so. I'll call and let them know he's better.” There had been nothing to say to reassure them until then.

“Why don't you go home for a while? I'll call you if anything happens.” Webster sounded firm.

“Will you be here?” She didn't like him, but she was beginning to trust him.

“All night and until noon tomorrow. I promise.” He smiled at her, and she was surprised to realize that he was actually decent-looking when he wasn't running roughshod over her, or scowling as he checked the monitors and the chart.

“I hate to leave him,” she said honestly.

“It'll do you good, and we'll be busy moving him in a little while. You'll just get in the way here.” He had a way with words, and she couldn't help smiling at him. And then she told Peter she'd be back soon, she was going home to the other children.

“I'll be back as fast as I can, I promise,” she said to Peter and he smiled.

“Sorry, Mom,” he said again. “Really stupid.”

“You're really lucky. And I love you. So just hurry up and get better.”

“Tell Jamie I'm okay,” he said with real effort, but also real progress. It was the longest sentence he'd said since he woke up and started talking to them.

“I will. I'll see you later.”

“I'm okay.” He was trying to reassure her, which was a good sign. He was cognizant, and not only aware of his surroundings, but the subtler implications of what had happened. She couldn't even bear to think of what it would have been like if he hadn't come out of the coma, or worse, hadn't survived. It didn't bear thinking.