Victoria Holt - The House of a Thousand Lanterns

“Of what interest should that be to me?”

“I wanted you to realize how wrong you were. You should never have married my uncle. If you had not the way would be clear for us now.”

“And my son?”

“Our son! I would have cared for him… and for you.”

“I believe I did the right thing. And having done it… I hope I shall continue to do what is right. Go away, Joliffe. I don’t want us to meet.”

“I must see you. I’ve sworn I won’t go on as before. I want to see my son.”

“No, Joliffe.”

“He is my son, you know.”

“He is happy here. He looks on Sylvester as his father. I don’t want him disturbed. Joliffe, how can you come here… to this house… of all places.”

“It used to be one of my homes. Where else should I go?”

“You can’t stay here.”

“You’re afraid. You shouldn’t be afraid of life, Jane.”

“We should all be afraid of doing what is not right.”

“My poor Jane!”

“Poor Jane! Poor Bella! Perhaps we are both to be pitied for becoming involved with you.”

“You will never be sorry for that.”

“I want you to go away, Joliffe.”

He looked intently at me and shook his head, and at that moment the door opened and Jason ran in.

He stood for a moment looking from me to Joliffe.

Joliffe grinned at him and a slow smile broke over Jason’s face.

“This is Uncle Adam’s cousin,” I said. I saw Joliffe grimace slightly in my direction.

“Have you got a kite?” asked Jason.

“No, but I had one when I was a boy.”

“What sort?”

“Made with bamboo, horn and varnish. It had a dragon on it.”

“Breathing fire?”

“Breathing fire,” said Joliffe. “Nobody ever flew a kite higher than I did.”

“I did,” said Jason.

Joliffe put his head on one side and shook it slowly.

“We’ll have a race,” said Jason excitedly.

“Yes, one day we’ll have a race.”

Lottie had come in. “I’m here, Lottie,” said Jason. “Where’s my kite?”

Joliffe and Lottie looked at each other. She knelt and put her forehead on the floor. Jason solemnly imitated her.

Joliffe took her hand and helped her to her feet.

She answered: “Great master is gracious.”

To see her standing there, her hand in his, for he retained it for a second or so, looking so young and beautiful sent a pang of jealousy through me.

I said: “Jason, will you go with Lottie. It’s time you had your breakfast.”

“Is Uncle Adam’s cousin going to have breakfast?”

“I expect he will somewhere.”

Jason stood looking at Joliffe and I could see the admiration in his eyes. I wondered what his reaction would have been if I had said: This is your father.

“You come and have breakfast with me,” said Jason.

“That is not possible,” I said sharply. “Go now.”

“We shall see each other later,” added Joliffe.

“Bring your kite,” said Jason.

“I will,” said Joliffe.

They went out.

“My God, Jane,” he said, “that’s a fine boy.”

“Please, Joliffe, this is a difficult state of affairs. Don’t complicate it.”

“You helped to complicate it.”

“In innocence,” I said. “But don’t let’s go into that now. I shall ask Sylvester what’s to be done. I shall tell him that you have been here.”

“Good and obedient wife,” he said bitterly. And I knew that the sight of me and of Jason and the thought that we were lost to him filled him with grief and anger.

I also knew enough of him to understand that he was not like myself. He would not accept a situation and try to make the best of it.

Joliffe wouldn’t compromise.

I left him and went to Sylvester’s room. He had not risen but Ling Fu had brought him breakfast and he was sitting up in bed having it.

“You’re up early, Jane,” he said. “The ship…” He paused. “Is something wrong?”

I said: “Joliffe came in on the ship. He is here.”

“In this house?”

I nodded.

“He must go away,” said Sylvester.

“He says his work has brought him here.”

“I can’t send him back to England but at least he shall not stay in this house.”

Now everything was changed. It must be so because Joliffe was in Hong Kong. I could no longer accept my fate; I must rebel against it. There was only one way to peace of mind and that was in forgetting Joliffe, which was something I could never do.

He had had an interview with Sylvester. I don’t know what was actually said but the gist of it was that although Adam was staying in the house there was no place there for Joliffe. In view of his one-time relationship with me that was quite impossible.

Joliffe had no alternative but to accept this while at the same time he made it clear that he wished to see his son. I knew him well enough to understand that he would use Jason as an excuse.

Sylvester was very shaken. He understood me so well that he must have been fully aware of the effect Joliffe’s return had had on me in spite of my efforts to hide it. He was apprehensive. Sometimes I was amazed at the depth of the feelings I had aroused in this quiet, restrained man. I knew that it was not only his relationship with me which he felt might be in jeopardy but he feared for Jason. There was something aloof in his nature which made an intimate relationship difficult for him to achieve. It had occurred to me that our marriage may have seemed to him the perfect one… a marriage without a physical relationship which had yet miraculously brought him a son who had the blood of his family in him.

He seemed to shrink from physical contact. Or did I think that because I was so much aware of Joliffe’s overwhelming masculinity? He looked pale and shaken and I knew he was suffering from one of his headaches, but he had been firm enough when he had forbidden Joliffe the house.

When I went down to the Go-Down Toby looked very serious.

He was angry with Joliffe.

“He should never have come here,” he said. “He knew the complications his return would give rise to.”

“He has his business,” I said, hearing myself actually defending Joliffe.

“He has managed all this time with his agents. It is only now that you are here…” He looked at me earnestly, trying to assess what effect Joliffe’s return had had on me.

I hoped I preserved my calmness.

“Whatever existed between us is over now,” I said. “It has been for a long time.”

Toby frowned. “It’s difficult in a place like this not to see people.”

“Perhaps he won’t stay,” I said.

Toby sighed. I knew that was what he hoped for.

Adam mentioned his cousin to me. “I hear his wife is now dead,” he said, studying me closely.

“I believe that is so.”

“He shouldn’t have come here. He could have left any business to his agent.”

“Why should everyone be so concerned?”

Adam frowned. “It’s nonsense to pretend. We know that you went through a form of marriage with him. We know that Jason is his son. This creates a difficult situation. Joliffe has always been sublimely indifferent to the embarrassment—or feelings—of others. He’s like his father. You have settled down with Sylvester now. He should have had more sense than to come back.”

“There is no need for anyone to make this fuss. Until this week it was years since I’d seen him.”

Adam nodded. “He’s got the famous Eddy charm which was said to come down through our grandmother. She ran away with a lover. It’s a certain feckless streak in the character and it comes out in some of us.”

“It didn’t come out in you, Adam.”

“You seem to pity me for that.”

I shook my head. “Oh no, I’m congratulating you.”

“Yet everyone finds these irresponsible people so attractive. You must have done. Or why did you marry Joliffe—or think you married him?”

I wanted to say: Because I loved him. Because I thought then—and it seemed I was right—that he was the only one in the world for me. How could one say such things to prosaic Adam? I said: “For the same reason that most people marry.”

“People marry for varying reasons. Some because it seems expedient to do so.”

“You are cynical.”

“But realistic. Didn’t you marry my uncle Sylvester for that reason?”

I said angrily: “You always resented my marrying him, didn’t you?”

He shrugged his shoulders and turned away. I was angry with him, but whenever Joliffe was mentioned I could never trust myself far and I wanted now to escape from him.

He looked over his shoulder and said: “Don’t forget you married my uncle… and whatever happens you are still married to him.”

“Am I likely to forget it?”

“Some people forget their marriage vows,” he said, and was gone.

He was a most uncomfortable person. All my old resentment of him returned.

* * *

There was a note from Joliffe. He wanted me to see him. I ignored the note. There came another. Jason was his son, he wrote. If I would not see him, he was determined that he would see his son. That was his right.

I was determined to enter into no negotiation with him that Sylvester did not know about, so I went to him and told him what Joliffe was asking.

He looked pale and wan; his stick was propped up by his chair and I felt a deep pity for him.

“He has some right to see the boy,” he conceded.