"No, not a'tall," she said simply.

"I'm thinking you'll like the Highlands," he remarked nonchalantly. "Why do you think so?"

"Because most visitors, e'en Scots Lowlanders, dinna take the time tae really look at what's around them in the high country, but you, you wouldna be rushing tae get back indoors where 'tis warm, now would you?"

She smiled. "Probably not, but that can be said of many people and in most any place, even here. Look," she added, pointing up. "A winter moon is a thing of beauty, no matter what country it appears in, but rarely does anyone stop to marvel at it."

He chuckled. "Point taken, but I marvel that it ever appears in your cloudy English skies." "Do you still hate it here?"

"Nae," he assured her. "There are some things English I've come tae love."

Sabrina smiled to herself, but then she didn't read any hidden meaning in that statement, was just glad that he was no longer so averse to his new home. She had left Summers Glade today with a lightened heart. It had nothing to do with herself, had everything to do with him. She was simply happy for him, that he had escaped a marriage he would have hated.

She didn't move over when he sat down too close to her on the bench. She was comfortable with him because of their friendship. It was only when she began thinking of him as other than a friend that she got disturbed by his closeness. But those kinds of thoughts had been put to rest after her talk with Archibald, and for her own peace of mind, were going to stay buried.

He still had to get married. He would probably be going to London now to accomplish that. She rather

thought that was why he was here, to tell her he would be leaving for a time. She was going to miss him, terribly, but she had to get used to seeing him only infrequently now. When he came back, he'd have a new wife . . .

"Are your aunts watching us from one of the windows?" he asked her suddenly. "Quite possibly."

"I dinna care, I'm still going tae kiss you."

It was too unexpected. And so swiftly was she gathered in his embrace and his lips were covering hers that there was no time for a single thought before it was happening. he was kissing her, thoroughly, deeply. And the second the surprise left her, she realized she didn't want to think, or analyze, or do anything other than revel in the joy of being in his arms once again.

It was so selfish of her. It was giving him the wrong impression. But she just couldn't help herself. It was going to be the very last time she could touch him, taste him, dream for a few moments that he could be hers. She was going to have to insist that it never happen again. She'd stay friends with him, but not if he kept thrusting temptation at her. And he probably didn't even mean to. This was probably just his way of sharing his relief with her, but—good God, did Highlanders really kiss their friends this way?

She had her answer in the next moment when he leaned back to gaze into her eyes and said simply, "Brina, lass, will you marry me?"

For the longest while she just stared at him, every one of her fanciful hopes realized in those few words of his. She had to savor the joy for a few moments more, to hold back reality and the pain, the pain that was going to rip her to shreds as soon as she answered him. But since she knew what her answer would be, what it had to be, the joy didn't last long for her. She tried to retain it, but her emotions just wouldn't cooperate, and if she didn't get it over with quickly, she was going to start crying all over him.

She ought to explain, but in the end all she could get out was, "No."

He wasn't expecting that answer. His expression said as much, the surprise, the hurt he quickly masked, the stiffness that came next. But he wouldn't leave it at that, either. He asked her, "Why not?"

It was incredible, how many difficult things she'd had to do where this man was concerned, and this was probably the worst, to try and hold back her own anguish long enough to make him understand. "You're my friend, Duncan, the closest I've ever had, actually, and I have a great care for you as my friend. But to try and make more of what we feel than that would be a mistake."

She should have said more, she really should have, but the words were starting to choke her. She stood up, turned her back toward him, before he sensed what she was really feeling. The moon helped, going away, leaving the garden in dark shadows. If he could see her face just then, he would know that she hadn't meant a word of that. The tears, pouring down her cheeks now, unable to wait any longer, would tell him plain enough.

And with the pain was a rage, too, toward his grandfather. She hated Archibald just then, for warning her, for preparing her for this. Why couldn't he have left her ignorant? Would it really have been so bad for her to marry Duncan? She would have loved him enough for the both of them. She could have made him a good wife.

But she was deceiving herself. Marriage needed more than just one side of it doing all the loving. They would have just lived together, as friends. That wasn't a marriage. And eventually she would have come to resent it, too, that he didn't really love her as she wanted to be loved.

She tried to dry her eyes before she faced him again, without him noticing that was what she was doing. She thought she succeeded. It didn't matter. He'd silently gone.

Chapter Fifty-three

Duncan didn't head straight home, when he knew his grandfathers would both pounce on him to hear if he was engaged again or not. He had no desire to discuss it. He went to the inn in Oxbow instead, or more exactly, to the tavern side of it, and bribing the innkeeper to stay open when the man tried to send him home, got quite thoroughly soused.

He did manage to find his way home eventually, though he fell off his horse twice, at least he was pretty sure it was twice, and might have stayed put on the cold ground if the animal didn't repeatedly blow some very fetid hot air in his face. He suspected it might have been his own breath coming back at him, but that was neither here nor there, when he wasn't in good enough condition to tell the difference.

Nor had he managed to avoid his grandfathers. They both still pounced on him the moment he stumbled through the front door. Mr. Jacobs had had sense enough to go to bed, but Neville and Archie, despite it being the middle of the night now, had both waited up for him.

Not together, though. Archie came out of the drawing room to help Duncan off the floor, where he managed somehow to land again. Neville was at the top of the stairs asking if he should fetch a footman to carry Duncan to bed.

"I can bluidy well heft the lad m'self," Archie blustered indignantly. "Then do it," Neville called down.

Duncan, who would have much preferred to just sleep there on the floor in the hall, had a vague suspicion that Archie really was going to try to carry him up the stairs, stubborn Scot that he was, and no doubt break his back doing so. Which was why he drew on the last bit of steam in him and got up those stairs himself, pausing only long enough to raise a lopsided eyebrow at Neville, who was standing there in his bed robe holding a lamp aloft.

For the lifted eyebrow, he got back a very English sounding snort, which started him laughing. He hadn't known that snorts could be differentiated by language, and found the knowledge quite amusing.

"Now tell me," Neville was heard behind him as he careened down the upper hall in what he hoped was the direction of his bedroom. "Since you know him so well, is he foxed this time from celebrating or drowning his sorrows?"

"Shhh," Archie hissed back. "Dinna be reminding him o' what he's tried tae forget in drink." "Not celebrating then." Neville sighed.

Duncan, wondering why they thought drink had any effect at all upon hearing, propped himself up against the nearest wall and said, "She wouldna have me, flatly refused tae marry me. Yet she returns my kisses as if she'd drag me tae her bed if she could. I dinna understand, Archie," he complained, but then he glanced accusingly at Neville, asking him, "Is that some English peculiarity in your lasses here?"

"That they might want to drag you off to bed? Or that they still won't marry you after they get you there?"

"Aye, that."

Duncan suspected the old man wanted to laugh, but he managed to keep a straight face when he replied, "I wouldn't know. Honestly haven't had that many women who want to drag me off to their bed."

Archie was less restrained, he did laugh—at Neville. "Now, why am I no' surprised?"

Which got Archie a glare, another snort, and nearly lost them the lamp, since Neville marched off with it. But he did come back with it after a moment, set it on the nearest hall table, and stiffly said, "For the lad, so he doesn't break his neck. And we'll discuss in the morning what sounds like a misunderstanding."

The last was said with yet another glare in Archie's direction, which instead of further amusing the old Scot, caused him to wince this time.

Duncan didn't notice, demanded, "What misunderstanding?"

"The one you just complained about not understanding," Neville replied.

That, of course, was much too cryptic for Duncan's whisky-soaked brain to try to grasp, so he didn't try. Instead he stumbled the last few feet to what looked like his bedroom, and pushing his way in, managed to do his falling this time on a soft bed. He'd worry tomorrow about whether it was his room. As long as no one was shouting at him to get out, his mind took the opportunity to stop functioning.