‘Thank you.’ Green eyes gazed at me intently. ‘It’s time.’

I nodded. Erich squeezed my hand gently before threading his arm through mine.

To stop myself from shaking again, I focused on the bunch of wild flowers I held. The boys had picked them for me, deep blue cornflowers, a few of the last pastel poppies and white daisies with their bright yellow centres. I couldn’t have asked for a better bouquet. It was vibrant, colourful and picked with love from the meadows outside the town, and the only splash of colour in the nondescript room. The boys, despite their protests and tears, had not been allowed to attend but they were with me in this way.

My mother was missing too. How could I be married without her? Tears pricked my eyes but I did not cry. If only she had capitulated. If only my father were here; his arm in mine, holding me steady, lending me his strength, but we had no way of knowing if or where he was interned.

As if in a dream, Erich and I approached the registry desk. The official waited behind it in his dark suit. Onkel Werner and Tante Susie stood nearby as our witnesses. Drab seats lay in neat rows behind us for the guests and spectators but they were empty.

Erich took my clammy hand in his. His grasp was firm and solid, anchoring me to the here and now. I stared into his eyes, endless pools of green, calming as the still sea on a summer’s day. My heart beat wildly as I paid little attention to the official’s words. It was as if there was no one else in the room, only the two of us, locked in private conversation. Slowly my heartbeat returned to normal, my quivering subsided and a sense of calm settled over me. We were in this together. Watching Erich’s face as we repeated the official’s words, promising binding oaths of marriage to each other, joy flared hot in my chest. We were proclaimed husband and wife. Elation lit up Erich’s face. Maybe this was right after all.

‘I love you, Fräu Drescher,’ he whispered before bending to kiss my mouth for the first time as my husband, tender and restrained with promised passion. How could I ask for more than that?

*

For the first time, I was expected to sleep in the same bed as Erich, which was a new experience, despite the time we had been travelling together. Although my thoughts had often run wild about what it might be like to share his bed, I wasn’t sure what to expect or how I would feel.

To make my wedding night special, Tante Susie had gone to a lot of trouble to make Erich’s room comfortable and pretty. She dressed the bed in her best linen, scattered a few candles about – an absolute extravagance – which she insisted on lighting before we went in, and had put my bouquet in an exquisite crystal vase on the dressing table. The effect was magical.

Erich waited until I had changed into a modest nightgown and climbed into bed before he came in. He smiled reassuringly as he closed the door behind him. Sitting rigid in the bed, the covers pulled up to my chest, I tried to smile back but my face felt waxen.

‘It’s been a long day,’ he said conversationally, sitting on the end of the bed to remove his shoes.

‘It certainly has,’ I agreed. My heart began to thump.

‘Susie, Werner and the boys went to a lot of trouble to make the day special. Even your mother… She cooked most of the wedding feast while we were away.’

I raised my eyebrows. Little escaped Erich’s notice. My nerves began to dissipate.

‘They did. I was surprised by how much effort they went to. My mother’s just very stubborn. The boys were so sweet, don’t you think?’

In the candlelight, I saw a smile flicker across Erich’s face.

‘They made the day,’ he whispered. A shadow of grief crossed his face and I knew he was thinking about his own children. Forgetting my anxiety, I threw off the covers to sit beside him. I put my arms around him, as if I could protect him from his pain. He was warm, even through the cotton of his shirt.

‘Oh Erich, I’m so sorry.’

‘There’s nothing any of us can do,’ he murmured. ‘Susie’s boys are still so full of life and innocence. They make me hope for better times ahead.’ He lifted his hand tentatively, hovering over my belly, watching me intently. I did not move or recoil. He placed his hand on the slope of my belly and let it rest there for a moment. The gentle pressure of his hand made me feel protected and safe. He would look after us. ‘I know we’ve done this the wrong way around but this child will bring us joy. We have a lot to live for.’

I put my hand over his. The butterflies fluttered in my belly once again. ‘I know, but I want us to be together for the right reasons. You told me once before that you married Inga because she was pregnant with Eva. I know you loved those children with every ounce of your being but you and Inga were both so unhappy.’

Erich pulled me tight to him, whispering vehemently in my ear, ‘I wanted to marry you anyway. You know I’ve always wanted you. This baby just pushed things along and allowed me to become the happiest man. It was never like this with Inga. With her, I was younger, greener and I married her out of obligation.’

Trying to stay focused on what I needed to say and not on the immediacy of him against me, I pushed away. ‘Please let me finish. I know you told me this before we married, that you wanted me in spite of the baby. But if you were ever to feel like we were wrong for each other, do you promise to let me know? I don’t want you to feel trapped like you did with Inga.’

Erich sank to the floor, kneeling in front of me. ‘I have been in love with you longer than I care to admit. I thank God that you came into my life – you were made for me and I was made for you. I might be selfish for being happy that you’re pregnant.’ He rested his hands over my belly once more, this time possessively. A jolt of arousal shot through me at his gesture. Lifting his head to me, I could see the fierce joy in his face. ‘Our child has ensured we’ll be together, given me the opportunity and excuse to marry you. I know I wasn’t what you wanted in a husband but I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make you happy.’ He grabbed my hands then, kissing my knuckles, the touch of his lips white hot against my skin. ‘I will cherish you like no other man can and love you always for the woman you are and the woman you will become. You are my home and my sanctuary and I bless my good fortune to have found you and to have you in my life. Is that good enough for you?’

I nodded, mute at the intensity of that passionate declaration. Tears filled my eyes, making the flames around the room double and dance. ‘Oh Erich! Whatever did I do to deserve you?’

I pulled him to me. The feel of him was glorious and made me realise just how much I had missed his touch. There was not one bit of shame or guilt as I furiously removed any impediment in the way of feeling his skin against mine, becoming unaware of anything but Erich and the deep joy and exquisite pleasure that we shared.

Lying naked among the rumpled bedclothes, the candles burning lower, I gazed at the long, athletic lines of Erich’s body sprawled out beside me. He was beautifully made, lean and firm from the weeks of walking and hours of carpentry. His face was bronzed from the sun, the delicate lids closed, rimmed with long lashes, his hair askew, long strands framing one side of his face. He was at peace and obviously comfortable with me beside him, like it was the most natural thing in the world, as if we had been like this forever. I’d love to photograph him naked like this, I thought.

The green eyes winked open, catching me out. A slow smile spread across his face. ‘What’re you looking at?’

‘Nothing,’ I said, quickly averting my eyes.

‘Nothing? Maybe I’d better look at nothing.’ He turned on his side, appraising my figure. ‘Mmm, Raphael should have painted you… perhaps you’re a bit thin now for his liking but in a few months you’ll be full and ripe.’

I gasped as he kissed my belly, not sure what to make of what he’d said, shocked that he had picked up on my thought.

‘Such perfect skin, milky white, soft and smooth.’ He drew his finger softly over my arm and breast. ‘Silky, shiny, golden locks that tumble to your shoulders.’ He raked his fingers through my hair and I closed my eyes, shocked at the effect it had on me – I was mesmerised, as if I was under his control. ‘Eyes the colour of the summer sky and lips to die for…’ His fingers trailed over my closed lids and traced the outline of my lips, all my senses focused on his touch. ‘Ah yes, if I could paint, I would paint you and all the world would glory at your perfection.’

I sighed with pleasure, feeling like the most beautiful and precious woman in the world. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me for a long moment.

‘Do you know what Colonel von Wissenbach informed us all when you started in the office?’ I shook my head. ‘He told us that you were off-limits, from a respected family of high social standing. A young woman you married, but did not fool around with.’

‘What?’ I clapped my hand to my mouth in horror and embarrassment.

Erich chuckled. ‘Imagine my surprise when I discovered you were to be my assistant. I was nervous, not sure what to expect, but when I met you, I couldn’t believe how gorgeous you were. I could see straight away that you were intelligent, classy and beautiful but it was your smile that got my attention.’

I shivered at his delectable words. There had been mutual attraction at our first meeting after all. Attraction like that wasn’t something you could fake. I understood now that it was something extraordinary.

‘Your smile lit up the room and I knew that he was right. I knew you were special.’ He gently lifted a strand of hair from my face and smoothed it back behind my ear, raising goose bumps across my body. ‘I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you but I’m so glad you agreed to marry me, because I can’t imagine my life without you.’