‘She’s to marry Heinrich as soon as we can bring him home. She’ll have a good life with him.’ Mutti put her arm around me. ‘You know the wedding was postponed because of his posting.’

Onkel Werner looked at all three of us, his brows drawn together. His fierce gaze met mine once more and I quailed, sure I would melt like an ice cream under his blazing stare.

‘Does Erich know of your condition?’

‘No,’ I muttered. ‘I haven’t told him.’

‘Go and get him,’ he said to his wife.

Shaking her head at my mother helplessly, Tante Susie left the room. Mutti moaned, sinking to the chair next to Onkel Werner.

‘Please, Werner, don’t involve him.’ She placed her hand on his arm. ‘We can make this go away. We can do it somewhere else and not return here. It’s all planned. Think about Lotte. She has her life in front of her, don’t ruin it. Heinrich is waiting. They’re perfect for each other and so happy together.’

‘You know I can’t do that.’ He patted Mutti’s hand in sympathy. ‘I understand what you’re trying to do but I know about it now and can’t pretend that I don’t. You and Lotte are under my roof and in my care. I have to do what I think is best for you both. Johann wouldn’t expect any less of me.’

‘Please, Onkel Werner,’ I said, dropping to my knees in front of him. ‘Please don’t tell Erich. It will break his heart.’ I took a deep breath. I had to tell him if I was going to make him understand. ‘It was a mistake with him. We were both lonely and grieving. He had just lost his family and I thought Heinrich was gone.’ I kissed his hand. ‘Mutti’s right. I love Heinrich and I want to marry him. Everything’s organised for our wedding to go ahead as soon as he comes home.’

‘Oh Lotte,’ he said, stroking my head. ‘You’re almost like one of my own. I’ve watched you grow from a tiny child into a woman. I don’t want to see you hurt but you have to be responsible for the decisions you’ve made. Erich deserves to know the truth. Now, I think you should sit down.’

It was a good idea because my legs had turned to jelly and I didn’t know if I could even kneel any longer. Onkel Werner began coughing, a harsh bark that was worse than mine, his face turning red before he gasped for breath. I sat next to Mutti and a swift glance told me she was barely holding on to her temper. Her face was glowering with an expression that would make most people wither. She grasped my hand and held it tight. That tiny act of solidarity made me feel a little calmer.

Erich and Tante Susie entered the room. My stomach lurched. Tante Susie sat on the other side of Onkel Werner. Erich sat next to her, across the table from me. He smiled reassuringly at me, although his brow was creased in confusion or concern, I wasn’t sure which.

‘I have only this morning discovered some troubling news,’ began Onkel Werner. ‘I have learnt that my niece Lotte is with child.’

My heart thumped loudly in my ears, my head pounded and my vision swam. I felt dizzy and found it difficult to breathe. I gasped for air as the urge to violently expel my insides threatened to overpower me, blotting everything else out.

‘Lotte!’

I heard my name called as if from a distance and realised that someone was shaking me. I tried to snap out of it and realised that my mother’s anxious face was peering into mine.

‘Lotte, it’s all right. It will be all right,’ she said, still holding my hand.

I looked across the table and Erich’s face was pale, his green eyes wide with shock.

‘I don’t know if I can do it,’ I whispered to my mother, still feeling faint.

‘Stop this, Werner!’ yelled Mutti. ‘Can’t you see she’s not well?’

‘Enough, Werner,’ said Tante Susie. ‘She can’t do this now. It’s been too much for her.’

‘No, it’s enough when I say it’s enough,’ growled Onkel Werner, slamming his fist on the table. He pointed at Erich accusingly. ‘Did you know about this?’

‘No, I didn’t,’ he said softly, his voice filled with wonder. I was worried that he’d be furious that I had hidden this from him but his face was alight with joy. He knew the child was his and he was happy. He glanced at me, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. I could breathe again. Then his eyes clouded, as he must have thought of the implications.

‘Are you an honourable man?’ shouted Onkel Werner. I shrank away from his horrible words, leaning stiff and frozen against my mother. Erich was the epitome of honour.

‘Of course! What kind of question is that?’

‘Lotte claims that the child is yours. Is this true?’

‘No!’ wailed Mutti. She wrapped her arms around me as if she could shield me from what was to come. Her body heat seeped into me, lending me strength. ‘Please don’t do this. You’ll destroy her life.’

Erich looked from me to my mother and back to me again. I didn’t want him to deny it just for me. I knew that it would kill him to lie about this, to be a dishonourable man. He would own up to his responsibility, no matter what. I nodded imperceptibly to him.

‘Yes, the child is mine.’ Erich looked proudly into my eyes, silently telling me that we could get through this together.

‘I should throw you out right now!’ bellowed Onkel Werner, red in the face and grimacing in disgust. Erich was furious and I could tell by the way he held his arms that his fists were clenched under the table. The two men stared at each other like puffed up roosters and I was worried about who would throw the first punch.

Tante Susie leant forward to put herself between them. ‘Werner, let him explain. We have to work this out for the best of everyone.’ She touched his face briefly. ‘Please.’

My uncle sighed, breaking the tension, and nodded to his wife. ‘I will give you a choice, Erich. Marry Lotte as soon as possible and make this child legitimate, preserving her good name and her family’s reputation.’

My mother’s grasp on my hand released and she clutched Onkel Werner’s sleeve. ‘Don’t do this, Werner. You’ll regret it.’

He shook my mother’s hand free and glared at her. ‘Don’t tell me what to do in my own home.’

‘Werner, think about Lotte,’ whispered his wife desperately.

My uncle stared at her impassively before returning his focus to Erich. ‘Or you and she can leave this house today.’

Erich’s face was thunderous. His jaw was clenched as he fought to keep his temper in check. I understood how he felt because I was shaking with fury but I knew that opening my mouth would incur the wrath of my uncle and make the situation worse. I swallowed the bile.

‘Werner, no!’ pleaded Mutti.

‘I love her,’ declared Erich. I felt a ray of warmth pierce the frozen core of my heart, melting the fear I had held on to so tightly all morning, and I smiled back at him. Mutti gasped but I saw Tante Susie’s smile, which she quickly wiped from her face.

‘You tell me that you want the best for Lotte. Do you think that casting her out, causing her so much distress, is best for her?’ Erich asked, his voice rising. ‘Look at her, she’s a wreck!’

Onkel Werner flicked his hand as if my distress was of no concern. ‘I need your answer. What do you intend to do?’

Mutti turned to Erich. ‘Please don’t ruin her life.’

Erich stared at her a moment, his eyes like the stormy ocean. ‘This is Lotte’s decision,’ he said gently. ‘I’ve wanted to marry her ever since we first worked together. It wasn’t a possibility then… but it is now. She’s known how I feel about her for a long time.’ He turned his attention back to Onkel Werner. ‘But I know Lotte’s committed to Heinrich. She’s planned a life with him. I won’t take that away from her.’

Mutti’s sigh of relief was audible. It made my hackles rise.

Erich stood abruptly and sank down to one knee beside me. I realised what he was intending to do and felt a rush of blood to my face.

‘Although I know you have a life already planned with Heinrich, if you have to make a choice, I want to do this properly,’ he murmured as if we were the only two in the room. ‘I want you regardless. Your uncle’s ultimatum doesn’t change the way I feel about you, nor does our situation.’

Listening to his words stirred something inside of me. He took my limp hand and placed his other hand over it, heat flowing from him to me. Staring into his steadfast green eyes, I felt a calmness descend on me.

‘Charlotte Elisabeth von Klein, I ask for your hand in marriage. I promise to care for you, love and respect you and give you everything I have, although I realise that isn’t much. You have my heart and soul and I will do everything in my power to make you happy.’ His face was so earnest I knew he meant every word and it made my heart melt.

‘The rest is up to you, Lotte,’ he finished, kissing my hand. He smiled as he rose, holding himself straight and tall with pride but not before I had seen the fine sheen of sweat on his brow betraying his anxiety.

Mutti began to scream, ripping through the cocoon of warmth and belonging that had curled around me, leaving me cold.

‘She’s all I have left! Don’t take her away from me. You’ll ruin her life and I’ll never forgive you.’

Tante Susie and Onkel Werner looked on, horrified, and Erich was taken aback, not sure how to react.

‘Shh, Mutti,’ I crooned, putting my arms around her violently trembling body, soothing her, as her screams turned to whimpers. ‘It will be all right.’

‘No, it won’t,’ she moaned. ‘I’ve tried to protect you and keep you safe but I’ve failed. All I want is for you to have a good life.’

Tante Susie moved to Mutti’s side. ‘Amelia, you’ll make yourself sick. Lotte will be fine.’

Mutti raised her tear-streaked face to Tante Susie, her eyes suddenly hard. ‘How could you do this to me and to my daughter? You know we have nowhere else to go. Don’t force her to do this. There is another way.’ She glared at Onkel Werner. ‘Don’t make me beg.’