‘You did. That was brave and it meant that both of us got away safely.’

Crying in earnest now, I sobbed, ‘I didn’t know where you were or what you would do. I wanted to keep the soldiers away from you. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. I just wanted to prove myself to you.’

Squeezing me hard, Erich kissed the top of my head. ‘You don’t need to prove anything to me. I already know that you are one in a million. Shh, it’s all right now, we’re both safe.’

‘They might be still looking for me.’

‘No, I saw the convoy leave and the two soldiers in the jeep too.’

I sagged with relief, calming down considerably. Sniffling, I reached into my pocket for my handkerchief. ‘I’m sorry. I’m not normally such a cry baby.’

‘Truly, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I was ready to cry too if I didn’t find you when I did.’

I felt something odd in my pocket and smiled. ‘The American soldier gave me this.’

‘What is it? Are you sure they didn’t hurt you?’ Erich lifted my chin to look into my eyes and I saw the ferocious concern in his.

‘I’m sure.’ I smiled again and brought the Hershey bar out of my pocket. ‘Look, chocolate.’

‘Well, I think we can sit for just a minute to enjoy chocolate.’ He kissed me lightly on the lips before releasing me.

Sitting at the base of the oak tree, I blew my nose and wiped my face before breaking up the chocolate bar and sharing it with Erich. It had been some time since either of us had eaten chocolate and I grinned to hear him groan as he savoured his first piece. I closed my eyes as the rich, creamy chocolate coated my mouth and I wondered if anything was ever as good as the simple pleasures in life.

12

We stayed off the roads as much as possible, using only small back lanes when absolutely necessary. My encounter with the Americans brought stark reality to the fear I held for Erich’s safety. The risk he had taken to bring me to Windsheim now rarely left my thoughts. Although he waved off the threat to him and the soldiers I had met seemed friendly enough, the possibility of Erich being shot made my blood run cold. He stood out in his uniform and I knew we had to find civilian clothes for him.

Although I loved walking across the open fields and through small pockets of woods, I was always pleased to walk on a solid surface. And we encountered more people on the roads. They were like us, trying to get home. Some people had nothing but the clothes they stood in, while others had their possessions piled high in carts. Most people we met were filled with the hope of reaching their destination and reuniting with their loved ones. Others were travelling aimlessly after arriving home to find their houses destroyed and their families dead or missing.

My heart went out to Erich every time we encountered someone with that story. He didn’t know what had become of his parents and he would probably never find out what had happened to his wife and children. I could see his pain by the set of his shoulders, the tension in his body, whenever we came across someone with a similar story to tell. It was like reopening a wound, even though to anyone else he seemed interested and empathetic. We kept to the story that we were cousins, occasionally sharing that Erich’s family had perished, fleeing Silesia ahead of the Russians but never disclosing more than that. Most were content with what we told them.

Entering the villages to find food was still a necessity. There were only a few places that still waited for the Americans to occupy them, and it was strange to see the white sheets and tablecloths that hung from balconies and windows to advertise the village’s surrender. The locals were generally friendly enough, wanting to help other Germans on their journey home. I will never forget the generosity of some of these kind people who shared what they had when it was plain that they had so little themselves.

Sadly, it was also here that I saw for the first time the cruelty and brutality of those I called countrymen. In one village, there were no sheets. The villagers were wary and tense with strangers, reticent to talk or to offer food and shelter. We soon discovered why.

‘Lotte, stop. Turn around and don’t look this way,’ Erich called urgently, reaching the village square before me.

It was too late. The corpses of four men and one woman hung in the middle of the square. A small cry escaped from my mouth. Two were shot multiple times in the chest while the other three displayed a single gunshot to the head. All five wore signs around their necks declaring them traitors to the Fatherland.

I had seen dead bodies before in bombing raids but never like this. Erich pulled me away. I stumbled from the grisly sight, too horrified to cry, gagging as the powerful stench overpowered me. Clinging to the edge of a building, I vomited, just missing my shoes. Erich held my head and shoulders as I retched again until I sagged against him, exhausted.

‘All right now?’ he whispered, smoothing the hair from my sweat-beaded forehead. I nodded and smiled weakly at him. Erich helped me stand as an older woman waddled out from a doorway. She handed me a cool wet cloth.

‘Thank you,’ I said, still gasping. I wiped my face and neck with a shaky hand, the cloth a welcome balm to my clammy skin.

‘Come and sit down,’ said the woman. ‘You must drink some water.’ She grasped my arm and led me to the doorway. I glanced at Erich and he shrugged as we followed the woman inside the building.

We sat at a small table and the woman placed a plate of hard biscuits and glasses of water in front of us. I eyed the biscuits greedily, aware that they were probably all she had left.

‘Sip slowly,’ she ordered. I did as I was told. ‘Then you must eat something.’

‘What happened here?’ asked Erich cautiously.

The woman fiddled about the room for a moment before answering. ‘The SS.’ She tucked a wisp of grey hair into her black kerchief and turned to us. ‘A couple of days ago, our burgomeister ordered we hang white sheets to surrender to the Americans to protect our village from harm. Some of our Hitler Youth and Volkssturm are fanatical and can’t see reality for what it is. They could not accept the fact of our surrender, although the Americans are already nearby.’

I glanced at Erich in alarm. Fanatical men might take offence at him taking me home rather than fighting the enemy, especially since he was still in uniform. It wasn’t safe here for us. It seemed nowhere was safe for anyone in a German uniform. He placed a hand on my knee surreptitiously to keep me calm and still.

‘After arguing with the burgomeister, who was supported by the village, someone alerted the SS. They came shortly after and dragged the burgomeister and his wife, along with the head of the Volkssturm, who supported him, into the square. Many stayed behind closed doors, too afraid to be seen by the SS men, but some were brave enough to show their support for the burgomeister. Others came out to enjoy the sport.’

She shook her head and hobbled over to join us at the table. ‘When it became obvious what they were intending, two of the old men stepped forward, arguing that they had done nothing wrong. When the pistols were pointed in their direction, many people fled. The men backed away. They were shot anyway and, as you could see, not just once.’

‘The others were shot after that, without a trial or explanation,’ finished Erich softly.

The old woman nodded, her eyes filling with tears. ‘She was my daughter,’ she whispered. ‘They will not let me take down her body or give her a decent funeral.’

‘I’m so sorry.’ I placed my hand over her gnarled fingers.

‘The Americans should be here by tomorrow. Maybe then I can have my daughter and bury her.’

Erich nodded sympathetically. ‘I’m sure you will.’ He refused to look at me and I knew that he was probably thinking the same as me: perhaps there would be no village left if the unrealistic men refused to relinquish control. They were the ones destroying the lives of their neighbours.

‘You should leave here. It’s not safe for you,’ she said looking at Erich, ‘and I would get rid of your uniform if I were you. My husband was about your size. I should have something you can wear.’ She stood slowly, leaning on the table, pain flitting briefly across her face. ‘Come with me.’

Erich looked at me. ‘Please go,’ I whispered, as the weight lifted from my chest at the thought of him finally out of uniform.

‘Thank you for your kindness,’ he said as he followed the woman to another room.

While I waited, I finished my water and nibbled the hard biscuit. The woman was right. It did make me feel better and settled my stomach.

She shuffled back out and sat at the table with a satisfied look on her face. ‘He’s just changing,’ she said reassuringly. ‘Now you, my dear,’ she said, fixing me with a speculative stare. ‘Are you feeling better?’

‘Yes, thank you,’ I said, my cheeks beginning to redden although I wasn’t sure why. She narrowed her eyes as she scrutinised me.

‘On your way home, are you?’

‘That’s right. Erich’s my cousin and he’s taking me home.’

The woman nodded with a knowing expression. ‘How long have you been ill, dear?’

I frowned as I tried to work it out. ‘A couple of weeks, I think. I must have picked up something that I just can’t seem to get rid of.’

She smiled again, the light of amusement in her eyes. ‘Have you been tired? Have you felt faint, aching all over, and ravenously hungry?’

My eyebrows rose in surprise. ‘Yes. How did you know?’