Kami looked at me and I shrugged for this was likely true, then again sometimes Mom’s brand of fun needed to get spoiled before someone got hurt.

Then Mom hugged a surprised and stiff Kami then released her and she got a return hug from Linda and finally she gave me one. After Mom was done embracing the female congregation, Steve kissed my cheek and said his good-byes and they moved to their rental car.

“I got work tomorrow,” Kami announced, she gave me a look which I couldn’t read then, thankfully, she said, “Later,” and she moved away without giving anyone hugs but she did give a halfhearted wave which I thought was quite nice, seeing as it was from Kami.

I was just grateful she didn’t share the Damon Incident or her astute insight into the fact that Harry upset me before she went.

“I’m her ride,” Linda muttered, her eyes on me and they were twinkling for what else could she do? Kami, I was learning, was Kami.

Linda kissed Max’s cheek and then Brody’s. She was carrying my coat and purse and she gave them to me then she gave me a hug and when she did she said in my ear, “Like you, Nina. You’re a good kid.”

I clenched my teeth and swallowed the tears as her head came up. I smiled weakly at her and nodded.

“I’m off,” Brody announced as Linda moved away and I shrugged on my coat. “Seein’ as that shit went down with Mins, work gave me to the weekend so we’ll get together again before I leave, yeah?” he asked me.

“Sure,” I said even though I was not sure.

He gave me a mountain man hug, in other words I was engulfed in his arms and the hug was so tight I could hardly breathe. Then he clapped Max on the shoulder and took off.

I continued to avoid Max’s eyes and I did this by watching Brody until he was out of sight.

“So, what’ll it be, Duchess? You want me to teach you how to play pool or do you wanna go home?”

I looked at his collarbone and told him, “Let’s go to your house.”

I felt rather than saw the change in his mood before he asked, “My house?”

My eyes shot to his and I saw he was studying me intently.

“Um… suddenly, I’m exhausted,” I explained.

Max didn’t look like he bought my explanation. He kept examining my face for several moments before he looked over his shoulder at the parking lot then back at me.

“What were you doin’ out here with Kami?”

I shook my head and stated, “I wasn’t with Kami. I just got a little tired and I thought the fresh air would wake me up a bit.” I licked my lips before I kept lying, “It didn’t.”

“Kami was with you when we got out here,” Max pointed out.

“Um… she followed me out. I don’t know why. She was only here a minute or so before you all joined us.” At least part of that was true.

“What’d you talk about?” he asked.

“Nothing. You all came out before we –”

He cut me off, asking shrewdly, “What’d you and Harry talk about?”

I decided I needed to practice my poker face and I needed to do it very, very soon.

“Not much, he was kind of drunk,” I lied again. “It’s okay,” I assured him. “Jake took his keys. Harry said he was going to call a taxi.”

“Then what’s the matter?” Max asked.

“I told you,” I replied, “I’m tired.”

“One second you’re sweet and smilin’ and the next second your eyes are dead and you’re sayin’ you’re tired.”

“My eyes aren’t dead.” But I knew they probably were.

“What’d Harry say?” Max pushed.

I sighed, not wanting to spar, not even wanting to talk, not even wanting to stand.

In fact, I did want to crawl into a bed, pull the covers over me, shut out the world and anyone who could get in and hurt me and I wanted to sleep. Sleep for decades and wake up a spinster, go to the nearest shelter, adopt two dozen cats and then live my life cleaning up hair balls and watching Wheel of Fortune. That seemed like a happy life to me.

I didn’t tell Max this, instead I asked, “Max, can we just go to the A-Frame?”

His eyes narrowed and even in the dim light I watched his face grow dark. “The A-Frame?”

“Yes.”

He took a step closer. I stepped back.

He stopped and whispered, “What the fuck?”

Even though I retreated, which I did so I could remain smart, sane and rational instead of letting him touch me or hold me or kiss me and make me the opposite, I leaned a bit forward, looked him in the eyes and softly begged, “Please? Can we go up the mountain?”

He didn’t answer for a long time, so long, since I was holding my breath, it seemed forever.

Then he said quietly, “Yeah, Duchess, we can go up the mountain.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

I was careful to keep distance between us as we walked to the Jeep and stayed clear and not in arm’s reach when he opened my door for me. I climbed up, belted in, he got in, started the car, strapped in and we were off.

I was silent and avoiding him taking my hand by digging through my purse, pretending to look for a mint which I didn’t have. Then I sighed my feigned defeat at the wasted effort and looked out my side window, clutching my bag like it was a life-force.

Max took the hint and he not only didn’t try to take my hand, he also didn’t speak. And when we got to his house and out of the car, he stopped at the back of the Cherokee to wait for me to round it but he again didn’t take my hand as we walked up the steps. He let us in, I went to the closet, hooked my purse and coat inside and headed up the stairs.

Grabbing my pajamas, I went directly to the bathroom, cleaned my face, moisturized and then looked in the mirror.

“Tomorrow,” I told my reflection in a barely there whisper, “this will be over. I just have to get through tonight.”

That’s a bad idea, Neenee Bean, Charlie’s voice was urgent in my head, You’ll regret it. You’ll regret it, sweetheart, until the day you die.

“If I stay, I’ll regret it in six months, a year, ten years, whenever it sinks in and turns bad and goes sour, knowing I’m second best.” I was still whispering.

Nina, listen to me –

“She was his world. Don’t I deserve to be that to someone, Charlie?” I whispered and before Charlie could say more, I turned to the door and opened it.

I didn’t look at Max but out of the corner of my eye I saw him heading toward the bathroom as I came out. I quickly went to the bed, got in on my side, turned out my bedside lamp which Max had turned on, leaving his illuminated. I curled up, my back to the bathroom and I took two very deep breaths.

I heard Max come out and I felt the bed move when he got in it. And even though I had my eyes closed, I saw the light go out.

He didn’t delay. He moved into me, his arm winding around my belly and he pulled my back into his front.

I didn’t struggle, instead my closed eyes closed tighter as I felt the warmth of him, the strength of him.

One last night.

“What’d he say to you, baby?” he asked softly into the back of my hair.

“Max, I’m really tired.”

“What’d he say?”

I remained silent. His arm got tighter as he pulled me even closer.

“You know about Shauna, babe, you gotta know there were others before you,” he whispered into my hair.

Yes, your wife! The Beautiful Swan, Anna! I shouted in my head.

“I saw your face in the Police Station, honey, when I talked about havin’ a woman on the job when I was with Shauna.”

“Max –”

“I told you this mornin’, it’s casual –”

“Please Max.”

“Her name was Shelly.”

“Please.”

“When I got home to look after Mins, the invitation to her wedding was in my mail.”

I drew in a sharp breath. His arm gave me a squeeze.

“It was nice, we both had fun then it was over. She was fine with that, she knew the score. It ended good and we remained friends. I know the guy she hooked up with after me. He’s a good guy. They’re gonna be happy and I’m happy for them.”

“Can I go to sleep?”

“You’re different.”

I clenched my teeth then I tried, “Max –”

“We’re not about havin’ fun, we’re that and we’re a fuckuva lot more than that.”

This was torture.

“We’ll talk in the morning,” I promised for we would, he just probably didn’t know what I was going to say.

“Baby,” he whispered his advice, “don’t sleep on what’s tearin’ you up inside.”

“Nothing’s tearing me up inside,” I lied yet again.

“Duchess –”

“Max, please, it’s late, I’ve had too much to drink, a crazy day, a crazy week and I’m just tired. Can’t you just hold me and let me sleep?”

At my request that he hold me, I felt his body relax into mine but he asked, “We’ll talk in the morning?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll actually talk to me in the morning?”

“I said I would.”

“None of this shit about not askin’ questions when you think I don’t wanna answer. We’ll actually talk.”

I swallowed, wondering why he remembered everything then promised, “Yes, Max, we’ll talk.”

Max fell silent. I forced my body to relax. After awhile, he called my name on a whisper.

“Nina.”

“Yes.”

His arm got tight and he pressed his body to mine.

“Baby, that path you were on…?” he asked but said no more.

“Yes?” I prompted.

“Until you showed in that snowstorm, I was on it too.”

Oh my God. Torture.

“Sleep, Max,” I urged him but I could hear my voice clogged with tears I could not let flow.

“Forgot about this,” he muttered into my hair.