His arm came up, crossing his chest and his fingers curled around the back of my neck to contain me should I wish to retreat any further and he said, “Duchess, wake up. This is us, we’re gonna fight. You gotta learn how to shake it off.”

I blinked.

“Shake it off?” I whispered and this time my whisper was both incredulous and lethal.

“Yeah, shake it off,” he confirmed, ignoring my toxic tone completely. “Either that or learn how to talk to me, how to ask a fuckin’ question once in awhile without lookin’ scared as a jackrabbit about whatever answer you might get.”

I blinked. Max kept talking.

“I ain’t a figment of your imagination, Duchess, I didn’t start my existence the night you drove up to my house. I had a life, a wife. I got a family, friends, a history. I fucked around a lot, lookin’ for somethin’ and not findin’ it, just like you.”

I tried to contain my anger and reminded him, “Yes, Max, you had a wife who was your world.”

“Yeah, she was, until her world stopped. Mine kept goin’, babe.”

“Harry said when a man has a woman who is his world, and he loses her, nothing will take the place of that.”

I watched Max’s irritation grow to anger; he twisted toward me and got up on an elbow too, all without releasing my neck.

“Don’t lie in bed next to me and throw in my face the shit Harry fed you last night,” he warned.

“But you admitted it,” I told him.

“I fuckin’ did not.”

“You told me she was your world.”

His hand tightened on my neck. “Yeah, she was, Duchess. Was.”

“Harry’s a man and men know men.”

“Harry’s no man, Nina. Haven’t you figured that out?”

Okay, he had a point there.

“All right,” I agreed and foolishly went on. “That might be true but not five minutes ago you relived that nightmare, Max, I watched you do it and you cannot lie there and tell me you’re over Anna. You loved her and her loss broke you.”

His eyes turned to stone indicating his anger deepening, quite significantly, and he clipped, “Jesus, you’re a piece of work.”

“What?”

He rolled into me so I fell to my back and he was partially on me, though not on my tender side but I wouldn’t have noticed even if he pressed his full weight into me because he’d gone way passed angry right back to what he was this morning. He was furious and I braced for impact.

“You’re a piece of work, babe.” His voice was biting as he repeated himself, his face dipping close to mine. “Is this what you wanna hear?” he asked and didn’t wait for my answer just kept on going. “She was beautiful, she was funny, sweet, mellow, laid back. So fuckin’ mellow, Christ. Life was good for Anna. She loved livin’ it and didn’t let much get under her skin. We probably had two arguments the whole time we were together. Life with Anna was contentment, absolute. She didn’t get in my face, she didn’t get in moods, she didn’t throw attitude. She woke up happy and went to bed happy and she did everything she could to give me that same harmony and I loved every fuckin’ minute of it.”

My mouth went dry at his words and I tried to slide out from under him but he didn’t let me move an inch as he carried on.

“Not you, no. You get in my face, your mood changes like lightnin’, you throw attitude better’n any woman I ever met and I grew up with Mom and Kami, so, seriously, babe, that’s sayin’ somethin’.”

“Get off me,” I whispered, his words worse than Damon’s blows, far, far worse. I was pushing against his chest but it was like I didn’t even speak and my hands on him didn’t exist.

“You’re blonde and Anna was blonde, that’s about all you two share. You’re night, Duchess, she was day.”

I felt the tears hit my eyes and I couldn’t stop them from sliding out the sides.

“Get off.”

“She wasn’t a fighter though. She wasn’t ready to take on the world. She let anyone walk all over her and they did and she didn’t react, not even a little. She just let it happen and moved on, buryin’ it deep, not lettin’ anyone see, hidin’ it even from me, not lettin’ me help. She was sweet which meant she let people in to walk all over her, never learned, did it all the fuckin’ time. And she was a good listener but she was shy. She’d stand at my side and bite her lip and look at Harry and think someone should help him but it wouldn’t be her. She wouldn’t have the courage to walk through a crowded bar and sit by his side and take his issues on her shoulders. What he said to you would have wrecked her even worse than it did to you. So I had to protect her from that shit and I did. She gave me harmony. I kept her safe so she could give it. That was us and it was a good balance.”

I didn’t know how much more I could take and my voice had gone from demanding to pleading when I repeated, “Max, get off.”

“You wanted the comparison, babe, you got it. Now you know what Anna gave me and what I gave her.”

“I didn’t want the comparison!” I cried.

“Yeah you did, you’re all fired certain you can’t compete, convinced yourself of it.”

“Well obviously I can’t because, obviously, harmony is not what you’ll get from me.”

“There’s no replacing Anna.”

I looked away, closed my eyes and quit pressing against his chest. I was going to block him out, that was the only defense he was giving me so I was going to take it.

His words still came at me though, unfortunately. I couldn’t block them just by closing my eyes.

“You lose anyone, there’s no replacing them. There’ll never be another Charlie, you know that. And there’ll never be another Anna. What you need to get is that’s precious, you get to keep that, you don’t want to replace it. That doesn’t mean you can’t find something else just as good.”

Right, I thought but didn’t say it out loud but with his Wonder Max powers he must have read that word on my face.

“Christ,” he gritted out. “I don’t want harmony from you, Nina. I just want you.”

“Can you get off me, please?” I asked quietly.

“Look at me.”

“Please, Max.”

“Dammit, Nina, look at me.”

I looked at him and his eyes roamed my face then his hand came up and cupped it.

“I see what I had with Anna for the gift it was but now that’s gone. With this act, are you sayin’, in this life that’s all I get?”

“No,” I whispered honestly and the words I said next were coming from somewhere I didn’t know I had, saying things I didn’t know I needed to say but things instinctively I knew he needed to hear and understand in a belated effort on my part to protect him for his own good. “What I’m saying is, you’re you and you deserve better.”

He looked genuinely confused when he asked, “Better than what?”

“Better than me.”

I felt his big body jolt and it jarred me, sending a shot of pain through my ribs but I ignored that, focusing on his face which looked utterly stunned.

“You shittin’ me?” he asked softly.

Yes, stunned.

“No,” I replied just as softly.

His thumb swept my cheekbone and his face gentled as he murmured, “Jesus, baby.”

“Think about it, Max,” I implored urgently. “I’m argumentative and my head is messed up. Do you know, Charlie talks to me?” I asked then didn’t wait for an answer even as I took in his head jerking at the question. “He does. It started just recently but he does, like he lives in there. I’m not remembering him, things he’s said, he’s actually talking to me. And lately I’ve been talking back. It’s insane.”

“Duchess –” Max started but I kept right on speaking.

“And I do stupid stuff all the time or at least I did before Niles and then there was Niles, who was stupid from start to finish. But before him, it wasn’t just all the bad choices with men, I was always doing crazy stuff, like Mom but not benign stuff, like concocting disgusting food. The Brain Team thing wasn’t the first or the last time I was off on one. I was always off on one. Do you know I’ve been arrested?” His eyebrows went up and I nodded my head on the pillow. “Not brawling, it was drunk and disorderly except I wasn’t really drunk, more like tipsy but I was disorderly because I was yelling really loudly and, in the end, I kind of threw a beer bottle at someone.” Max pressed his lips together, I again didn’t know what this meant but I defended myself. “He deserved it, he smacked a girl’s behind right in front of my friend, who was his girlfriend, and he was doing that kind of that stuff all the time and it hurt her so, being tipsy, I’d had enough and I let fly, shouting at him and throwing the beer bottle. Anyway, I wasn’t aiming at him so it didn’t hit him, just smashed on a wall and got some girl’s purse wet. She was kind of angry about it because the purse was designer so she was the one who called the police.”

“Babe –”

On a roll, I talked over him and continued laying out my case. “And I’m totally neurotic. I know why, seeing as my Dad left me and then I chose all of those stupid guys so I have issues with that, as you know. I just don’t know how to stop it. You told me all the guys at the bar were looking at me and even Harry said he’d do me but does that register with me? No. I can’t let people be nice to me, say nice things to me, I just can’t accept it as fact and that makes me just plain weird.”

This time, his brows knit and his face grew hard when he repeated in a low, dangerous voice, “Harry said he’d do you?”

“Yes,” I told him, too caught up in relaying my urgent message to catch his change in mood. “Harry was drunk and acting like an idiot but I don’t know why you want me. It’s mad.”