He decided to take a hard line with her and his tone of voice showed it as he began speaking. "Every year I saddle one Fellow and make it their duty to establish a good working relationship with the E.R. staff." He swung the chair around to face her. "This year that person is you." His eyes squinted as he looked at her.

Her mouth opened abruptly. "What?" The puzzlement was written all over her face.

"You heard me. I want you to be the liaison between this department and the E.R., and that means starting immediately."

"Why me? Why not one of the other two?" She paused. "If it’s because I’m a woman…" shades of discrimination and sexual harassment ebbing at the edges of her mind.

He looked out of the corner of his eye and pointed directly at her with his right hand as he fished for something out of the drawer to his left. "I don’t ever want to hear that in my office again." He pulled three folders out of the drawer and threw them on the desk. "It’s all in here," he pointed to them. "Check for yourself if you’d like."

She looked down to see the name listed on each of the folders, Dr. Rene Chabot, Dr. Nathaniel Hostetler, and her own, Dr. Garrett Trivoli, was written on the outside. Her eyes looked up to his, pleading for some kind of answer.

"Dr. Chabot won’t have the time to invest with a family due to deliver in the next few months and Dr. Hostetler, although unmarried, will need to devote all of his time to honing his surgical skills. That leaves only you, Dr. Trivoli. You have no family, your surgical skills are refined and beyond reproach. I’ve got to teach you something in this program and this is what I have chosen for you. I suggest that you make it your business to be a part of the overall picture in that E.R. and that means spending time with the staff both inside these walls and outside in their private lives, too. I don’t care how you do it. Just do it."

The look on his face was one of no nonsense and she knew it. "But…" she grasped at thin air for words.

"No buts, Trivoli. I want to see you be a leader here, not just another blade in the system. I believe that you have a lot of untapped potential. You just haven’t figured it out yet." He shook his head as he thought of his recent discussion with several very irate O.R. staff members. "As a surgeon, your main goal is to heal through surgical intervention for the well-being of your patient." He glared at her, his face showing his anger. "Not through the use of confrontation and a demeaning attitude toward your staff. You keep this up, Trivoli, and no one will want to work with you. Then we’ll see just how perfect your little world will be when you’re all by yourself in that surgical theater."

His face softened and his voice mellowed as he reached out and touched the photo on his desk again. "Besides, you’re going to learn real fast that those nurses aren’t the enemy. One day that nurse that you threw your weight at today could very well save your butt and the patient’s, too." He glanced at the photo, then back to her. "Now go and think about what I’ve said."

She immediately jumped to her own defense. "But I’m a damn good surgeon. Why should I…"

"Because YOU," his forefinger shot out aimed right at her face. "You are a mere cog in this piece of machinery that we call a hospital. The last time I looked, Dr. Trivoli, I was the one writing your ticket in this program. Now, unless you are willing to give up this Trauma Fellowship, I must demand that you learn to become a part of the whole and not cause a hole in any part." He paused long enough for her to digest that last statement. "Did I make myself clear enough?"

Garrett rose from the seat and turned to leave. Reaching for the doorknob she paused and turned to face her new mentor. Before she could speak, she saw McMurray thumbing through her folder. "I’ll try not to let you down, Sir, but don’t expect me to change overnight. I’ve had a lot of practice at being as demanding of those that work with me as I have of myself."

"Good! Then you’ll learn to accept your own shortcomings at the same time as you do everybody else’s. Garrett, learn to get off of the high horse you’ve imagined yourself on and people may just start looking up to you for who you are, not what you are." His head never came up from out of its absorption in the folder.

"I’ll see what I can do." She exited the office and stopped dead just a few steps down the hall. This was going to be harder than she had anticipated. She shook her head and wondered what freight train had just run through and left a large gaping hole in her plan for the rest of her life. Seething to herself, she named it the "McMurray Special," vowing to never be caught in its path again. She would live with it this time, she had to, and nobody bailed out on the first day of a Fellowship Program. Besides, it was against her nature to give up.


Chapter 4


The bright afternoon sun was filtering in at the edges of the room-darkening blinds as the form began to stir from sleep. The bed was huge compared to the small body that nestled in the middle, with its face buried into the queen-size pillow. The last remnants of a dream still whispered through the fog as one slowly transpired the states of unconsciousness to reality. The dream seemed to have no beginning or end. It was more like fragments of lives through the ages. The same persons reappearing in different scenarios. It was always the same, never a story or a name. Just bits and pieces of someone’s life that had been captured on film yet clipped out for some reason.

The small blonde woman ran her hand through her hair, fighting to come fully into the world of consciousness. Her green eyes opened to a new day as the mind hung on desperately to the last image of her dream; a dark-haired warrior loomed near with a spear clenched in both hands. The image started to fade as the warrior turned to look at her, a twinkle shining in its brave blues eyes. It had not made the transgression into the real world and for this Danni was grateful. It was not that the dream had scared her, but that it was always so cryptic in nature. If only she could understand what it was about or what it meant.

Danni flopped over onto her back, her head settling into the soft fluffy pillow. ‘If only there was some sort of reason or meaning to all of these dreams,’ she thought, smiling to herself. ‘Or nightmares as the case may be.’ Her face changed rapidly to a smirk.

The images had been with her since she could remember. They had always manifested themselves in the moments just prior to awakening. For this reason, Danni had always believed that she needed to try to remember them.

Her hand reached out, capturing the journal that was kept on the nightstand for this reason. Rolling over onto her elbows she hastily opened the book and seized the pen that was clipped to the page of her last entry. Hurriedly dating the page she began to follow her routine of describing her dream so as not to miss a single element before it escaped her. She had often thought that one day they would all make sense. Well, perhaps in her mind some little detail would set off a chain of events that would help her make sense of it all. When and if that would ever happen was beyond Danni’s control. Now, she just did what she could to preserve them until that time came.

Her task done, she began to emerge form the large bed and slowly shuffled towards the bathroom. Her mind turned to the challenges at hand. Time to shower and start a new day in her life.

The briskness of the water always made Danni think she was off somewhere in the forest, bathing in a refreshing mountain stream. There was an odd familiarity to the chilling response that made her shiver with the initial contact. The thought of the warrior now fading from her mind as her body enjoyed the sensation of the water cascading down her naked form. The long shower ritual would allow her mind and body to join together into a single state of consciousness; ready for whatever the day would bring her way.

************

It was the first of July, the starting date of the new medical staff year. The young nurse began to mentally prepare herself for the grueling night ahead. Another year of training, teaching, and maybe even making a friend or two like she had with David. Her mind thought back to their first encounter several years ago when he had just come to the hospital. That shy, boyish intern over the years had matured into a competent surgeon and, along the way, won a place in many of the nurses’ hearts. Danni smiled at the memory, laughing quietly at the numerous times that Rosie had insisted Danni and David would make the perfect couple. She was thankful that the Doctor had never mustered the courage to ask her out. Deep in her heart, she knew that somewhere David would find a mirrored soul that would complement his reserved manner. It just wasn’t hers. Silently, a prayer rose off her lips for the safekeeping of her friend’s soul until that time came.

The locker room door opened, allowing the din from the hallway to break Danni’s train of thought. Her eyes moved toward the door, only to see her fellow trauma nurse bounce through the doorway, her face beaming.

"Ah, Danni, my friend, have you heard the buzz in the E.R. about my Dr. Trivoli?" Rosie asked.

"I haven’t even ventured out through…hey, what do you mean YOUR Dr. Trivoli?" A puzzled look was on her face, she had heard stories that the flirtatious nurse was a fast mover, but could she have already made this supposedly battle-hardened Trauma Fellow surrender to her charm. ‘No, it’s got to be wishful thinking,’ Danni shook her head in wonder.