K Darblyne - The Fellowship

"Is she okay?" The nurse moved toward the bed to begin removing the connections of the machines to the lifeless body.

Danni had to think about that herself. "I hope so," she uttered under her breath.

*******************

The rest of the day was spent in solitude as Garrett opted to drive out to the countryside. She needed time to think and did so, as she walked through the leaves that graced the woodland floor. Her mind kept conjuring up familiar faces from her past. Each one coming to haunt her in their own way. With dusk approaching, she drew her walk to a close and began the long drive back home. ‘Time to go home,’ she mused. ‘Even my thoughts are haunting me. Home,’ she laughed, ‘I’ll never have a place that feels like home, or anyone that feels like family ever again.’ The words bit into her, tearing at her soul. The image of the petite blonde came to her mind. This image was different from the rest that had visited her today. It did not haunt her, but instead brought with it a feeling of warmth and compassion. A feeling that made her yearn for the sights and smells that reminded her of the nurse. No one had ever stood out in her mind like that, not even her…. She paused at the thought. Her face took on a surprised look as her brow raised at the concept.

Continued

Staring out into the early morning sky, the young woman sat motionless enjoying the crisp October air. She watched the hues of the sky turn to shades of red as the first hints of a new day dawned. Her mind wandered through a list of nursery rhymes and other assorted phrases that one kept from their childhood, looking for the reference of a red sky at morning. She thought for a few moments, then the fleeting phrases came to her mind. ‘Red sky in the morning shepherds take warning. Red sky at night shepherds’ delight.’ Chuckling to herself she thought aloud. "I wonder if there is any truth to that?"

"Any truth to what, Danni?" The motherly charge nurse was standing a few feet away from her, clutching at her lab jacket to keep the crisp air from invading the warmth of her clothing.

"Oh…Hi Mom! I didn’t realize you were standing there." Her voice was whimsical as she continued. "You know, about the red sky in the morning."

"Sailors take warning," Karen chimed in. "That one you mean?"

"Sailors?" The blonde shook her head. "I thought it was shepherds," she wrinkled her nose.

"Shepherds, sailors does it really make a difference? They are both waiting for the storm that’s starting to brew around them." Mom chuckled, "I guess it was what time period that you grew up in."

"Yeah, I guess so." She gazed out at the deepening hue of the sky, mesmerized by the changing patterns in the morning light. "Do you really think that they take warning?"

"I think there has to be some truth to it, otherwise why would it be passed down from one generation to the next?" Karen walked over to the bench that Danni was setting on. "Mind if I sit down?" She pointed to the other half of the bench.

"No, go right ahead."

The two women sat watching the ever-changing sky turn from night into dawn, each lost in they’re own thoughts. Mom looked intently at the petite nurse; her mood was very introspective. Karen had noticed a change in the vivacious woman. She seemed to keep a little more to herself these last few weeks. She wondered if there was something troubling her. Pondering the thought, she made her decision to act. "Danni, is there anything that you want to talk about? I’ve noticed that you have been in the doldrums lately."

The young woman sighed, leaning forward she worked her hands under her thighs, locking her elbows. She looked down to the ground in front of her and then back to the concerned friend beside her. "I wish there was," she whispered, "then I could do something to help."

Karen was puzzled. "I’m not following you."

"I’m worried about Garrett, Mom. There is something going on and it’s tormenting her. I just don’t know what it is or how to help her."

The charge nurse let the mother instinct in her take over. "You live with her, I’m sure that you would notice before any of us would. Has she given you any clue as to what it might be? Maybe she is just worried about her work or where she will be next year," she offered.

Danni looked at her, "I don’t think it’s her work, Mom. She’s one of the best Trauma Fellows that I’ve seen." The nurse became a little sullen at her next thought. "She could go anywhere she wants next year. A hospital would be crazy not to want someone like her on their staff."

Picking up a note of regret at the possible loss of a friend, Karen tried to change the subject. "What makes you think that something is tormenting her?"

Shrugging her shoulders, she looked back out to the sky’s first light. "I’ve noticed that she hasn’t been sleeping. Last weekend we were both off together. I could hear her mumbling and tossing and turning in her bed," she said showing signs of embarrassment. "It sounds like the same nightmare every time, all weekend long. I almost went and knocked on her bedroom door Sunday night to see if she was all right."

"Have you offered to talk about it?" She held up her hand in a halting motion, "forget that I asked that." Karen smiled, she knew that would be the first thing the young woman would do. She thought about how Danni always looked after her friends; always more concerned about their welfare than her own. ‘Just like the parable of the shepherd and his flock,’ she mused. Karen started to giggle as she thought about that. ‘What a match…the shepherd and the sailor.’

"She says that nothing is wrong. At least that’s what she said when I asked her over breakfast on Sunday morning. I tried to bring it up in the conversation but she just kept changing the subject." Pressing her lips tightly together and inhaling deeply she shook her head. "Mom, she’s been like this since that night she covered call for Rene, when his kids were born."

Karen placed her hand on Danni’s back, letting it move in a soothing circling motion. "Sometimes you have to let people work out their own problems first. All you can do is let her know that you are there for her, and wait." She paused to think about the talented surgeon. "She’s an intelligent woman, she’ll talk when she’s ready." Danni turned her head to look at Karen, her mouth opening to speak. "Shhh!" She whispered stopping the young woman. "Just be ready to listen when she is ready to talk."

Nodding, Danni wiped at the single tear that had escaped her eye, thinking about her beleaguered roommate.

Mom rubbed her arms feigning a shiver, "It’s too cold for me out here, I’m going in. Why don’t you take a minute to pull yourself together before you come back inside?"

Danni nodded, "Thanks, Mom."

The charge nurse got up and moved towards the door. Opening it, she turned and looked at the solitary figure. She thought about the question concerning the truth to the red sky in the morning and considered her two-pseudo daughters. "I hope this time, both the shepherd and the sailor will heed the warning," she muttered to herself as she went inside.

Sitting there in the cool air, the nurse looked up into the heavens and realized that she was just a speck in the workings of the universe. Sighing, she closed her eyes and offered a prayer for strength and the wisdom to be able to help her friend when the time came.

*****************

Sleep had not come easily to her this night. Her dreams filled with nightmarish visions of what she had hoped would be her forgotten past. She cursed her memory, begging for a night of amnesic bliss. Forcing her eyelids open, she searched the blackness of the room for the neon numbers of the digital clock on the nightstand. It read 0437. She snorted in disbelief, "Well, that’s a half an hour more than I had at 0400." She reached over and turned off the alarm before it went off at her usual wake up time: 0445. "No sense in trying to go back to sleep," she mumbled.

Throwing off her covers, she let her long legs slide over the edge of the bed. Pulling her torso up to a sitting position, she stared blurry-eyed into the darkness of the room, trying to get her thoughts organized for the day ahead. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her mind but it didn’t seem to help. She sat there motionless and for the first time since she moved in, she noticed how quiet the house was without the small blonde in the next room. It had felt so comfortable the past weekend with both of them home at the same time. The dead quiet was almost unnerving to her now, making her feel even more alone. ‘What I wouldn’t give to hear Danni stirring out in the kitchen right now.’ Sighing, she planted her feet on the floor, pushing herself up off of the bed and began to make her way to the bathroom down the hall.

Shivering, she felt her body reacting to the cooler temperature of the house, the goose bumps on her flesh reminding her of a plucked chicken. She smirked and thought about how much like a chicken she really was. She had always met any problem head-on, but this was something else. Problems, she could deal with, but the actions of the past jumping back into her life were more than she could contend with. Her mind drifted back to the past weekend. She had hoped for a relaxing one but those damn nightmares would not let up. She was going to have to do something about them, they evidently were not just keeping her from sleep, but Danni also. Garrett thought about the small blonde and how delicately she had tried to open the pathway for discussion about what was troubling the surgeon. ‘I can’t believe her, always worrying about everyone else.’ She remembered the concerned look on the face of the nurse as she sat across from her. ‘You’d think she would have more regard about her life than mine. I just don’t understand her.’ Garrett had remained the same toward Danni, stoic as ever. She didn’t need to pass her nightmares on to anyone. They were hers alone. "Alone," she mumbled under her breath. "It all stems back to the same thing." The surgeon could see no sense in burdening someone else with her demons. What good would that do anyway, except to allow them to haunt more than just her. ‘No, I did the right thing by evading her questions. She doesn’t need to know any of this.’ She tried to chase the image of the blonde imp out of her mind and get on with her morning ritual, but it kept fading into view like it never wanted to let her go. "I definitely need more sleep," as she stumbled into the bathroom doorway.