“Do you ever think about remarrying?” It was an odd conversation between the two of them, as they sat beneath the trees at the pool on a warm June day, thinking about life and what it meant to them. She was just old enough to be able to see things from his vantage point, but not so old she had lost her zest for life, or appreciation of having fun or being happy. Talking to her was comfortable for him, and she seemed surprisingly young to him, despite her wisdom. She was seventeen years younger than he was. As opposed to the forty that separated him from Alex.

“I don't even think about remarrying,” Valerie said honestly. “I haven't been looking. I always figured if there was another man out there for me, he'd find me, and he hasn't. I don't mind. I've already had a good one. I don't need another one.”

“Maybe someone will surprise you sooner or later.”

“Maybe,” she said easily. But she didn't seem to care one way or the other, and he found that appealing. He hated desperation. “You have a lot more energy for those things than I do.” She smiled, thinking to herself that if she applied the same age difference as he, she would have to be dating Mark's son Jason. But she didn't say it.

“What are you doing for dinner tonight?” he asked suddenly. He was at loose ends, with Alex working, and he was lonely. It was difficult for him at times being faithful to one woman, who was so often busy. In the past, he had always dated several women, so he never had solitary nights as he did now. He would have been even lonelier without Taryn. She had been a godsend for him.

“Cooking for Jimmy,” she smiled at him comfortably. “Would you like to join us? I'm sure Jimmy would love to see you.” Coop had dropped by the gatehouse once since he'd gotten home. He had exited quickly, and explained to Alex later how much he hated sickrooms.

“I can have Spago send us dinner if you like,” he offered, suddenly grateful for the invitation. He liked her, and enjoyed their budding friendship. She was almost like a sister to him.

“I make much better pasta than they do,” she said proudly, and he laughed out loud.

“I won't tell Wolfgang you said that, but I'd love to try it.”

Jimmy was surprised to see him when he appeared for dinner that night. His mother had forgotten to tell him Coop was coming. And Jimmy was a little uncomfortable with him at first. He had been spending a lot of time with Alex, when she visited him, and he had told her all of his secrets, and knew a great many of hers now. He wasn't sure if Coop knew, or if he was jealous of him. But Coop seemed far more interested in talking to his mother. And he agreed with her readily about the quality of her pasta.

“You should open a restaurant,” he said grandly. “Maybe we should turn The Cottage into a spa or a hotel,” he said. Abe had been threatening him again that if he didn't have a windfall of some kind soon, he would have to sell it. He was beginning to run out of steam and bravado fighting with him. And contrary to what Abe thought, Coop didn't see Alex as the optimal solution. Nor would her father.

Jimmy went to bed right after dinner, and after Valerie settled him, she came back and sat in the living room with Coop and they talked for hours. About Boston, and Europe, the films he'd made, the people he knew, and they were both surprised to discover they had a number of friends in common. Valerie said she led a quiet life, but Coop was surprised to find she knew some very racy people. All she said was that her husband had been a banker, but she didn't elaborate on it, and Coop didn't ask her. He just enjoyed her company, and they were both startled to discover that it was two in the morning when he finally left her, and he was in excellent spirits. He had had a wonderful evening with her.

Alex had called him several times that night, and was surprised to find him out. He hadn't said anything to her about it. But she had noticed that he had been restless recently, and she didn't know what to do about it. It never occurred to her to call and check on him at two in the morning, nor that he might have gone up to the gatehouse to have dinner with the O'Connors. But after five months in the relationship with him, it seemed to be stalling.

Coop lay in bed awake for a long time that night, thinking about things he and Valerie had said. He had a lot to think about, and decisions to make. He fell into a fitful sleep finally, dreaming about Charlene and the baby.





Chapter 22

Things got considerably worse for Coop after his dinner with Jimmy and Valerie. He had a meeting with Abe the next day, who told him that if he didn't turn things around in the next three months, there was no question in his mind that Coop had to sell The Cottage.

“You owe back taxes, you owe stores, you owe hotels, you owe your tailor in London eighty thousand dollars. You owe jewelers, you owe just about everyone on the planet. And if you don't pay what you owe to the IRS by the end of the year, not to mention your credit cards, they're not going to give you a chance to sell The Cottage, they're going to seize it and sell it for you.” Things were even more dire than Coop had suspected, and for once he heard him. The months he had spent with Alex had somehow improved his hearing. “I think you ought to marry Alex,” Abe said sensibly, but Coop was offended by the suggestion.

“My love life has nothing to do with my financial circumstances, Abe,” Coop said with dignity. But his accountant thought his scruples foolish in the extreme. He had a golden opportunity. Why not take advantage of it? Marrying Alex would have provided him a windfall he needed desperately.

Alex had just worked three days straight when she came home exhausted one night. She'd been covering for two other people, and had had a string of emergencies, babies coding, mothers getting hysterical, a father who had threatened a doctor with a gun when his baby died unexpectedly, and was subsequently arrested. She felt as though she'd seen it all and then some by the time she got to The Cottage. Mark and Taryn were away for two days, and all Alex wanted to do was take a bath and go to sleep in bed next to Coop. She didn't even have the energy to describe to him what she'd been through.

“Bad day?” he asked casually, and she shook her head. She was near tears from sheer exhaustion. She wanted to see Jimmy, but she was too tired to visit him. She had promised to go up and see him in the morning. He was getting stir-crazy being stuck in the gatehouse with his mother. Alex called him as often as she could, but in the past two days she hadn't even had time to do that. She felt like she'd been a hostage on another planet.

“Bad three days,” she explained, as Coop offered to cook her dinner. “I'd be too tired to eat it,” she said honestly. “All I want to do is jump into the tub and go to bed. I'm sorry, Coop. I'll be better tomorrow.”

But in the morning, he seemed strangely quiet. He sat staring into space at the breakfast table. She made him bacon and eggs, and poured him a glass of orange juice in his favorite Baccarat goblet. And after he ate it, he looked at her with an unhappy expression.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly. She was feeling much better after a night's sleep and a good breakfast. But she was a lot younger than he was, and recovered quickly.

“I have something to say to you,” he said, looking anguished for a moment.

“Is something wrong?” He didn't answer her, and she didn't know why, but she'd had the feeling they'd been losing altitude lately.

“Alex… there are things you don't know about me. Things I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want to tell me either,” he smiled sadly. “I have enormous debts. I'm afraid I'm a bit like the prodigal son, and have spent it all on ‘riotous living.’ The problem is, unlike the prodigal, I have no father to come home to. My father is long gone, and he had no money anyway. He lost it all in the Depression. And I'm up the creek, as they say. Taxes, debts, I have to pay the piper one of these days. I may even have to sell The Cottage.”

She wondered for a minute if he was asking her for money. It wouldn't have upset her if he had. They were close enough by now for him to be honest with her. She preferred that to secrets between them, even if the truth was unpleasant. She knew about all this anyway, from her father. “I'm sorry to hear it, Coop. But it's not the end of the world. There are worse things.” Like death, and bad health, and cancer, and what had happened to Maggie.

“Not for me. My lifestyle is important to me. So much so that I've sold my soul for it occasionally, making bad movies, or just spending money I didn't have, so I could go on living the way I wanted, the way I felt I deserved. It's not something I'm proud of, but I did it.” He was making a clean breast of his situation. He knew he had to. It was the voice of his conscience speaking, in his case a country never before heard from. It was all very unfamiliar to him.

“Do you want me to help you?” she asked, looking lovingly at him. She had truly come to love him, whether or not he wanted to have children with her. She had decided to make that sacrifice for him, if he asked her to. She thought he was worth it.

But he startled her with his answer. “No, I don't. That's why I'm talking to you. Marrying you would be the easiest way out for me. And the hardest in the long run. If I married you, I would never know for sure why I did it. For you. Or your money.”

“Maybe you don't have to know. They come as a package. Fully loaded. You don't have to select options.”

“To be honest with you, I'm not even sure if I love you. Not enough to marry you anyway. I love being with you, I have fun with you. I've never known anyone like you. But you're a solution for me. The answer to all my prayers and problems. And then what? The whole world will call me a gigolo, and they'd be right probably. And so would you eventually. And without a doubt, your father. Even my accountant thinks I should marry you. It's a lot easier than working to pay back taxes. That's not who I want to be, Alex. And maybe I do love you, because I care about you enough to tell you that's not who I want you to marry.”