“Tell him I'm going to stay at my place tonight. I have to be back at five, and it's easier to be close by. I don't want to wake him when I get up,” Alex explained, and Taryn understood.

“I'll leave him a note. I'm dead myself.” Alex had already told her that there was no change in Jimmy's condition. Neither better, nor worse, nor more hopeful than it had been.

And when she went to say goodbye to Valerie, she was already dozing. Alex tiptoed away softly. And as she lay in her own bed that night, she thought of Coop, and tried to identify what she was feeling. It took her a long time, but as she drifted off to sleep, she realized that she wasn't angry at him, she was disappointed. For the first time, in the wake of Jimmy's accident, she had seen a side of Coop she didn't like. And she knew that no matter how much she loved him, she had lost respect for him. Along with Jimmy's accident, for Alex, it was a devastating piece of news.





Chapter 20

Alex called Coop the next morning from work, and he told her she had missed a terrific movie, which stunned her. His denial was in full force. He didn't even ask about Jimmy. She volunteered the information anyway, and said that his condition remained unchanged. He said he was sorry to hear it, but tried to change the subject as quickly as he could.

“The saga continues,” he said, sounding almost flip, and she wanted to shake him. Didn't he understand that a man's life was hanging in the balance? What part of this was he missing? All of it, apparently. The realities of Jimmy's situation were too much for Coop.

She said something to Taryn about it later on when she saw her in the trauma unit again. Mark and Valerie were in with him.

“I don't think he relates to difficult situations,” Taryn said honestly. She'd been a little startled by his reaction too, and he'd said something to her about resisting “negative energy” over breakfast, that it was a very dangerous thing to let into your experience. But Taryn had the suspicion that he felt guilty about it. No matter how natural his avoidant reaction was to him, he knew it wasn't the right thing, whether he admitted it or not. But what bothered Alex was how he could allow himself to avoid the situation entirely. As a result of his denial, he offered no one any support. And as a result, she felt cheated by him. What she had to accept finally was that it was the best he could do. But it worried her to think about what would happen if something “negative” happened to her one day. Would he deal with it, or go to the movies? It was scary to observe him doing everything he could to run away. It was distressing to watch, and none of what he was doing felt good to her.

She went to The Cottage after work that day, although the others were at the hospital with Valerie. But she didn't want to push Coop too far. He was pleasant and easy when she got home, and had ordered a delicious dinner for them from Spago. It was his way of making up to her for what he didn't do. Coop didn't “do” unpleasant. He did pretty. And easy. And fun. And elegant. And gracious. He had somehow managed to weed out of his life the things he didn't like or that frightened him, and only acknowledged the things he found “amusing,” and fun to do. The trouble was, Alex reminded herself, real life wasn't like that. And there was generally a lot more “unpleasant” than “amusing” in life. But not in Coop's world. He wouldn't allow the bad stuff in. He just pretended to himself and everyone else that the bad stuff didn't exist. It made for some very odd perceptions and experiences. And he didn't “do” broke either. He did it, but he didn't acknowledge it. He just went on living, and spending, and playing. And in spite of everything, they had a lovely, relaxing evening. In Alex's eyes, it was more than a little surreal.

She called the hospital to check on Jimmy's condition, but she didn't mention it to Coop. There was no change. And hope was beginning to dwindle. He had been in the coma for nearly forty-eight hours. And with each passing day, the possibility of a full recovery would diminish. He had about another day to come around, maybe two, before his possibility for full recovery would be gone forever. He might survive, but not as they had known him. All she could do was pray now. And she had a heavy heart when she went to bed with Coop that night, not just because of Jimmy, but because of the piece of Coop she saw that was missing. She found it depressing. In her mind, the missing piece was huge.

She had a day off the next day, but went to the hospital anyway, to sit with Valerie and visit with Jimmy. She wore her scrubs even though she was off duty, so she'd have easy access to the inner sanctum.

“Thank you for being with me,” Valerie said to her gratefully. She and Alex were alone all day. Mark had gone back to work. And Coop was doing a commercial for a national pharmaceutical company, and had insisted on taking Taryn with him.

Valerie and Alex sat for hours in the waiting room, and took turns keeping Jimmy company. They both talked to him endlessly, as though he could hear them. And it seemed fitting that Valerie was standing near his head and talking to him, while Alex stood near his foot and saw a toe move. At first, she thought it was a reflex. And then the whole foot moved. Alex glanced at the monitor, and then the nurse. She had seen it too. And then, very quietly, he reached for his mother's hand and held it. There were tears streaming down her cheeks, and Alex's, as Valerie continued talking. Very calmly, very surely, she told him how much she loved him and how happy she was that he was feeling better, although in truth there was no sign of it yet, but she acted as though it had already happened. It took another half hour for his eyes to open, and when they did, he looked at his mother.

“Hi, Mom,” he whispered.

“Hi, Jimmy,” she smiled down at him through her tears, and Alex had to fight back a sob that nearly choked her.

“What happened?” His voice was a croak from when they'd intubated him when he was first admitted. The tube had been taken out that morning, because he was able to breathe on his own, even though he was unconscious.

“You're a lousy driver,” his mother said in answer to his question, and even the nurse laughed.

“How's my car?”

“In worse shape than you are. I'll be happy to buy you a new one.”

“Okay,” he said, and then his eyes closed, and he opened them again and saw Alex. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm off duty, so I dropped by to visit.”

“Thanks, Alex,” he said and drifted off to sleep. The attending came only minutes later to check on him.

“Bingo!” he said, grinning at Alex. “We made it.” It was a real victory for the whole team, and while they checked him, Valerie sobbed in Alex's arms in the hallway. She had thought he would die, and she was so relieved, she was completely unglued from the stress she'd been through.

“It's okay… it's going to be okay now….” Alex comforted her and held her. It had been a terrible ordeal for her, and a huge relief that he had made it.

Alex finally convinced Valerie to leave him later that night, and drove her to the gatehouse. She found a spare key at Coop's, and let her in. Coop was still on the set of the commercial when they got there. And Alex checked to see she had everything she needed.

“You've been so wonderful to me,” Valerie said, with tears in her eyes again. Everything made her cry now. It had been an agonizing two days, and she was starting to feel seriously shaken. “I wish I had a daughter like you.”

“I wish I had a mother like you,” Alex said honestly, smiling at her, before she left her. Alex was feeling greatly relieved when she went back to the main house. And she'd had a bath and washed her hair by the time Coop came in at eleven, looking tired too. It had been an endless day for him as well.

“Oh my God, I'm exhausted,” he complained, as he poured himself, Alex, and Taryn champagne. “I've done plays on Broadway in less time than it took to shoot that dreadful commercial.” But at least they had paid him well, and Taryn had found it interesting. It had kept her mind off Jimmy, and she had called at regular intervals all day to see how Jimmy was. “How was your day, darling?” he asked Alex blithely.

“Excellent.” She smiled at Taryn, who already knew. “Jimmy woke up today. He's going to be fine, eventually. He's going to be in the hospital for quite a while, but he's going to make it.” Her voice shook as she said it. It had been an emotional experience for everyone, except Coop.

“And they all lived happily after,” Coop added, and smiled at her somewhat patronizingly. “You see, my darling, if you simply don't focus on those things, they take care of themselves in time. It's much easier to let God handle it, and go about your business.” What he said denied entirely what she did for a living. God was in control undoubtedly, but she did her share of the work too.

“That's one way to look at it,” she said quietly. But Taryn was smiling with relief.

“How's his mother?” she asked, looking concerned.

“Collapsing, but fine. I took her to the gatehouse.”

“You'd think she'd rather stay at a hotel, with some service, at her age,” Coop said grandly. As always, he looked as immaculate and as elegant as he had that morning, when he left to do the commercial.

“Maybe she can't afford it,” Alex said practically, “and she's not as old as we expected.”

Coop seemed surprised though not particularly interested in the entire drama. He'd had enough of it. “How old is she?”

“I don't know. She looks about forty-two, forty-three, forty-five tops maybe… but she must be in her early fifties.”