“So would she probably,” Alex said, sounding sympathetic. “Are you sure she's pregnant? She might just be trying to see what she can get out of you. She doesn't sound like a very nice person.”

“She isn't. I don't know if she's really pregnant or not, or even if it's mine. I wore protection, but to give you the ugly details, it broke on one occasion. I guess from her perspective, she got lucky.” At least he knew it hadn't been a setup, just the fates conspiring against him.

“You can have DNA tests eventually, particularly if she's willing to do amnio. They can test her then. But that's a way down the road. How pregnant is she?”

“I think she said two months or something.”

He and Alex had been together for six weeks, so he was being truthful when he said he'd been involved with her right before Alex. Right before. Like two weeks before, or less. But Alex reminded herself that what he had done before her was none of her business.

“What are you going to do, Coop?” Alex asked, still holding his hands in hers. She loved the fact that he'd been honest with her, and if anything, she felt closer to him. She knew that these things happened. Particularly in his world, to men who were celebrities and were easy targets for extortion and blackmail and greed.

“I don't know yet. There's nothing much I can do for the moment, except wait and see what she does. I just wanted to warn you that there could be a land mine down the road for us, if she goes public with it.”

“Would you marry her if she has the baby?” Alex asked, looking worried.

“Are you crazy? There's no way. I hardly know her. And other than great legs, and other similar attributes, what I do know, I don't like.” At least not anymore. “I'm not in love with her, never was, and never will be. And I'm not foolish or noble enough to marry her under these circumstances. At worst, I'll have to pay her child support, at best the whole thing will vanish. I told her I would never see the child, and I meant it.”

But that was a whole other kettle of fish, involving responsibility and morality. She knew he would have to review the situation later, if she really did have the baby. But at least he wasn't in love with the woman, and didn't intend to marry her. In essence, it affected nothing between Coop and Alex. Except for some noise that could come up later in the tabloids, and that didn't worry Alex. All she cared about was how he felt about her.

“I hate to say it,” Alex said, as Coop held his breath and waited for what was coming. “And I'm sure you don't feel that way about it, but it doesn't sound like a big deal, Coop. These things probably happen to men in your shoes with a fair degree of regularity. It's unpleasant but it's not earth-shattering. I feel a lot better knowing about it, and I just don't see that it's such a big problem. Embarrassing maybe, if it comes out. But things like this happen all the time. I feel a lot better,” she beamed at him, “I thought you were about to tell me it was over.” In fact, life was just beginning for them.

“You're amazing.” He sat back, as he exhaled, and took a long, grateful look at her. “I truly love you. I was afraid you'd tell me to get lost and throw me back in the river.”

“Not likely.” Neither of them had eaten lunch, they had been so intent on what he was saying. “I think there's a distinct possibility you're a keeper.” He felt the same way about her, and he was about to tell her so, when her pager went off, and she glanced at it.

“Shit!” she said, taking a swig of coffee as she stood up. “Someone's coding… I gotta go… don't worry, everything's fine… I love you… I'll call you later….” She was halfway across the cafeteria at a dead run before he knew what had happened. And he stood up and called out to her as everyone around him stood staring.

“I love you!” he shouted. She turned back with a smile and waved, as a man wearing a hairnet cleaning tables with a wet cloth grinned at him.

“Right on!” Coop smiled at him, and walked out of the cafeteria with a light heart and a spring in his step that hadn't been there when he'd walked in. Alex was a remarkable woman, and in spite of what had happened, she was still his.





Chapter 14

Jimmy was sitting in his kitchen going over a stack of papers he'd brought home from work, and trying to decide if he wanted to cook dinner. He never seemed to eat dinner anymore, except when friends from work talked him into it, or Mark came by with a steak and a six-pack. He didn't care if he ate or not, if he lived or didn't. He was just getting through the days. And the nights were endless.

It had been three months since Maggie died, and he was beginning to wonder if it would ever get better. There was no end in sight to the grief he was feeling. And at night, he lay in bed and cried. He never fell asleep until 3 or 4 A.M., and some nights he was awake until daylight.

He knew that moving into the gatehouse had been a good thing, but what he also knew now was that he had brought Maggie with him. She went with him everywhere, in his heart, in his head, in his bones, in his body. She was part of him now, part of every thought and reaction. Part of the way he looked at things, and what he believed, and wanted. Sometimes he felt more Maggie than Jimmy. He saw everything through her eyes. She had taught him so much. He wondered sometimes if that was why she had died. Because she had taught all the lessons she was meant to. But thinking that still didn't make it any easier for him. He missed her unbearably, and the pain he felt night and day was barely tolerable. Nothing made it better. He managed to stave it off for a few hours sometimes, like when he hung out with Mark, or went to work, or coached softball to the kids he worked with. But it was always waiting there for him, like an old friend, the pain that lurked everywhere and waited to overtake him. It was a fight he couldn't seem to win. For the moment, the pain was still winning.

He had just decided not to bother cooking anything, when he heard a knock on the door, and got up to answer it. He was looking tired and disheveled, and smiled when he saw it was Mark. Jimmy saw less of him now, because Mark was busy with his children. He had to cook dinner for them, and help them with homework. But he often called Jimmy and invited him to join them for dinner. Jimmy liked Jessica and Jason, and being with them was fun. But that made him lonely too. It reminded him that he and Maggie should have had children, and now he would never have her babies, or her arms to hold him ever again.

“I just bought groceries,” Mark explained, “I thought I'd stop by and see if you want to come for dinner.” Sometimes, Mark knew, it was better to drop in on him. It was good to get in his face and drag him out of his cave. Jimmy isolated a lot, and Mark knew he was having a tough time about Maggie. Even more so lately. It was as though with the nice weather, and the feeling of spring everywhere, he was even more lonely for her.

“Naw…it's okay…but thanks I brought a mountain of shit home from work. I'm always out doing home visits, and I never seem to be able to get anything done in the office.” He looked pale and tired to Mark, and he felt sorry for him. It had been a rough stretch for Jimmy, and Mark knew it. He'd had a tough time too, but things had gotten better for him when his kids came back to California to live with him. He just hoped something happened soon to make things easier for Jimmy. He was a bright, good-looking guy, and a nice one. They hadn't even had time to lob tennis balls at each other lately. The kids were keeping him too busy, and he never seemed to have any free time.

“You've got to eat anyway,” Mark said practically, “why not let me cook for all of us? I have to feed the kids in a few minutes. I'm making ribs and burgers.” It was almost a steady diet for them. He had promised the kids he'd buy a cookbook and learn how to make something else.

“Honest, I'm fine,” Jimmy said, looking tired. He knew Mark was trying to be a good Samaritan, and he appreciated it. He just wasn't in the mood to see people. He hadn't been in months, and it was getting worse lately. He had stopped working out, and hadn't been to a movie since the last one he'd been to with Maggie. It was as though by living a full life now, he would have felt he was being unfaithful to her.

“Oh, by the way, I almost forgot…” Mark said with a broad grin. “I have a little tidbit about our landlord.” He handed Jimmy a copy of one of the tabloids. He had seen it at the grocery store, and bought it to show Jimmy. It was too bad, but Mark had to admit, it amused him. The guy was a real shaker and mover. “Page two.” Jimmy opened the tabloid and his eyes grew wide.

“Holy shit.” There was a picture of Coop that covered half the page, and another photograph next to it of a sexy woman with long, black hair, and Asian eyes. The article was full of alleged details and innuendos about their passionate love affair, their love child, gossip about him, and a list of the many well-known women he'd been involved with. “My, my,” Jimmy said with a grin, as he handed the paper back to Mark. “I wonder if Alex has seen it? It's not much fun to be going out with a guy who gets himself in that kind of trouble. And she looks like a pretty straight shooter.”

“I don't think it's a big deal with them,” Mark surmised, “she's only been around for about ten minutes. And they don't seem to last longer than that with Coop. I think I've seen three so far since I moved in here. Keeps things interesting though, doesn't it?”

“For him at least. I'll bet he's real thrilled about the baby.” Jimmy couldn't help laughing at him. “Imagine having him as your father.”

“He'll be close to ninety when the kid goes to college,” Mark added.