in a dark, quiet room." She stood, pulling Carrie up. "Come on. Lie down in the bedroom. I'll

make a cold compress for your head."

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course. Come on."

Jill pulled the covers back and helped Carrie remove the shorts she was struggling with.

After closing all the blinds, she untied the drapes, letting them fall to keep out even more

light. Then she soaked two hand towels in cold water. One, she put in the freezer for

future use, the other, she placed across Carrie's forehead.

"That feels good," Carrie murmured.

Jill crawled in beside her, sitting up against the pillows and lightly rubbing Carrie's head.

She smiled as Carrie moaned and continued her ministrations, pressing harder around

Carrie's temples, trying to ease her pain.

"You know, you've been complaining of headaches a lot lately," Jill commented. "Is that

unusual for you?"

Carrie opened her eyes briefly then shut them again. "Just allergies," she said. "Some

years are worse than others."

Jill leaned down and kissed the top of her head, then settled back against the pillows again,

her fingers continuing to massage Carrie's scalp. Before long, Carrie's even breathing

signaled that she had fallen asleep. Jill watched her, noting the frown that marred her

features, even in sleep.

Finally, as the clock ticked nearer to two, Jill eased out of bed. In the kitchen, she got the

cold compress out of the freezer and returned to the bedroom. Carrie had shifted, rolling

to her side as if searching for Jill. She took the wet cloth from her head, replacing it with

the one from the freezer. Carrie moaned once but didn't wake. Jill kissed her lightly on

the cheek then moved away. As an afterthought, she took Carrie's cell phone from her

purse and turned it on, then placed it beside the bed. She would call her later, just to make

sure she didn't sleep the afternoon away.

"I love you," she whispered as she kissed her cheek one last time before leaving.

But she didn't even make it back to the office before her own cell rang.

"I woke up and you were gone."

"I was hoping to sneak away quietly so you could sleep longer," she said.

Carrie chuckled. "Who could sleep with an ice cube on their head? But I feel better. I

guess your cold compress helped."

"Good."

"I'm sorry I messed up our lunch."

"You didn't mess it up. We were together."

Carrie paused. "How was the party?"

"Oh, it was ... it was tolerable. No, that's not even the right word. I survived it, I guess I

should say. But I almost felt like I wasn't really there, you know? Like my body was there

but I wasn't. Like I no longer belonged there."

"Is that how you feel? Like you don't belong there?"

"Yes, that's how I feel." She cleared her throat, thinking this conversation should be had

in person and not over the phone but she didn't want to wait any longer. "Carrie, I'm going

to file for divorce."

Carrie was silent for only a moment before Jill heard her take a deep breath. "Jill, I want

us to be together. If you're serious about doing that, then I want us to be together."

Jill slowed as she turned into the parking lot. She stopped and turned off the car, her hand

gripping the phone tightly.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes. I'm prepared for whatever fallout there may be. I'm not concerned about James,

just my boys. But sweetheart, are you prepared? Have you really thought all this out?

Angie? Your family?"

"I can't go on like this, Carrie. I just can't."

"Okay. Okay." She sighed and Jill thought she heard the tiniest of moans.

"Headache back?"

"Yeah. We'll talk about this tomorrow. I think I'm just going to lie down for a little longer."

"Good. Do you want me to give you a wake-up call later?"

"That'd be nice. I love you, Jill," she murmured before disconnecting.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

"Where the hell did this come from?" Jill said out loud as the downpour began. Out the

window of her car, she saw the dark clouds gathering to the north and she turned her

wipers on faster. She would be soaked. Her umbrella was hanging on the coat rack in her

office. They hadn't seen rain in weeks.

She was thankful for the remote Carrie had given her for the gate as she pushed the

button, waiting for it to open before driving through. She pushed it again, closing the gate

behind her and driving on through the rain. But at the cottage, she was surprised to find

the driveway empty.

Dodging water puddles as she ran along the path, she hurried into the sun porch and out of

the rain. Inside, it was dark and quiet, no sign that Carrie had been there yet today. She

pulled her cell phone out, debating whether to call her or not. She thought better of it, in

case Carrie was someplace where she couldn't talk.

She busied herself with lunch, foregoing their normal fare of sandwiches when she found

soup in the pantry. But as the clock ticked closer to one thirty, she began to worry. Again,

she picked up her phone, but again, she decided against calling.

And only moments later she heard Carrie's van, heard the door slam. She walked into the

sunroom, waiting. Carrie rounded the corner, their eyes meeting through the windows. Jill

knew immediately that something was wrong.

"Sorry I'm late," Carrie said. She moved into Jill's arms and Jill pulled her close.

"What's wrong?"

"I was at the doctor," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know, these damn headaches I've been having."

Jill took her arm and led her into the cottage, easing her down on a bar stool. "Have they

been worse?" she asked as she ran her fingers through her damp hair.

"Unbearable lately."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Carrie shook her head. "I didn't want you to worry. They did a ton of tests. I've been

there all morning. They did a CAT-scan too. But the symptoms are like a damn sinus

headache," she said as she rubbed her forehead.

"When will you know something?"

"Probably not until Monday." She wrapped her arm around Jill's waist and pulled her closer.

"But don't worry, okay. It's probably just my allergies in overdrive."

But Jill did worry. Try as she may, Carrie couldn't hide the pain in her eyes. And for the

first time, Jill realized how thin Carrie was getting. The last week or so, she hadn't had an

appetite at lunch, only picking at her food.

"Feel like soup?"

Carrie shook her head. "I've been poked on and stuck with needles," she said. "I think I'll

pass. But you go ahead and eat."

Jill leaned closer, her lips caressing Carrie's temple, then moving across her cheek before

finding her lips.

"I love you."

Carrie turned on the chair, her legs opening as she pulled Jill between them, holding her

close. "I love you too. So much," she murmured.

Jill smoothed her hair, her fingers gliding through the short locks, now more salt than

pepper. Another thing Jill had just noticed. She closed her eyes, pulling Carrie to her

breast, feeling Carrie burrow there.

"Is there anything I can do?" she whispered.

Carrie squeezed her tight. "No, no. I'm just so tired."

"Then come on," Jill said, pulling away and helping Carrie to her feet. "I'll help you into

bed."

"It's probably time for you to go already, isn't it?"

"Just about. But it's okay. You can rest. I'll leave the soup out. You need to eat something,

Carrie. It'll make you feel better."

"Sure. Okay. Leave the soup out," she said, her words slow, deliberate.

Jill stopped, her eyes searching Carrie's. "Maybe I should stay with you."

"No, it's okay. They gave me something for the headache. It's probably kicking in."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Sure."

Jill pulled back the covers on the bed, then slowly undressed Carrie as she sat mutely on

the edge. She paused, her hand cupping Carrie's cheek.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Carrie closed her eyes. "I'm fine, love."

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Jill held up the sack when she walked into the cabin. "I picked up burgers. You feel like

eating out in the garden?"

Carrie shook her head, her eyes moving around the room quickly, then settling back on Jill.

"Please don't say you're not hungry," Jill said as she walked closer. "Getting you to eat

something lately has become a full-time job." She set the bag on the bar then wrapped her

arms around Carrie, smiling when she heard her sigh.

"I love you, Jill."

Her brief kiss became lingering, and Jill closed her eyes, falling into Carrie's embrace, but

Carrie stopped, pulling away.

"We need to talk, Jill," she said quietly.

Five simple words, yet Jill felt her world crumbling. Their eyes fixed on each other,

holding, searching. Jill's breath left her and she shook her head.

"No," she whispered.

"Yes." Carrie took her hand and led her into the sunroom. "Let's sit."

Jill shook her head. "No. I don't want to sit."