Jaz starts dusting the mats out and announcing how tired he feels. I’m instantly on high alert—is this all a strategy? Getting us to spend the night, controlling how the mats are laid out, pulling some physical ploy with Karun once we turn in? I need to have some time alone first, play my trump card of the pomegranate. “Could I talk to you alone for a few minutes?” I ask Karun.
Before he can answer, Jaz cuts in. “There’s nothing you can’t say in front of me. I think we’re all adults, we all know what the situation is.”
“I was talking to my husband. It doesn’t concern you.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
Karun intervenes, whisking Jaz away. I can hear their voices outside, talking in excited whispers. Finally, Karun returns. “I’m sorry. Jaz apologizes as well. He’s promised to wait by the palm trees until I come get him.”
I’m at a loss on how to respond. The naked competition, the open hostility, has unnerved me. I pick up the mat Jaz was dusting and unroll it with a snap in the air. But then I can’t decide where to set it down. How should our bodies be aligned? What would be acceptable, what would be fair, what would avert the accusation of wresting too much advantage for myself? The question feels outrageous. Aren’t Karun and I married? Do I need to get permission now, haggle for special dispensation just to arrange our beds?
“Are you all right?” Karun comes over to where I stand immobilized and takes the mat unfurling limply from my hands.
“I’m not sure. I’m not sure where we go from here.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t tell what’s on your mind. All this guardedness, all this tension, ever since we left the hotel. I don’t want to be a third wheel.”
“You’re not a third wheel. You’re my wife.”
He says and does all the right things—telling me how much he loves me, how much he treasures me, stroking my hair, kissing my forehead and my lips. His palms press tenderly on my back, until I feel that familiar melting, that incipient helplessness, that makes me long for him, long for his body, long for a return to our bed, our marriage, our life. And yet, he makes no mention of all that lurks unsaid, all the questions the night brings, the figure skulking alone in the shadows of the trees. I am afraid to look into his face—will I see love in his eyes, or mere understanding? Or worse, evasion. Even worse, pity?
But then I remember my advantage. The secret that bulges at my side. Music and candles would accompany the ideal unveiling—I lead him instead to where the moonlight is most intense. “You won’t believe the trouble I took to get this for you.” I cup my palm around the pomegranate and extend it to him, giving it a quick rub first with the edge of my sari. A part of me shrinks as usual at investing in such a flimsy chance, but I remind myself I have little to lose, little alternative.
He picks it from my hand and holds it up—the skin is lustrous in the lunar rays, the crown sharply etched. I look for signs of nostalgia or entrancement, but he appears curious more than anything else. “A pomegranate. Where did you find it? I haven’t had one in such a long time.”
“This one’s from the hotel. Someone brought it for the Devi, I think. You’ll have to use your hands—I don’t have a knife.”
He works a thumb into the crown to pry it open. The skin makes a tearing sound as he splits it apart. A few of the arils spill onto his palm as he holds out the halves. I push his hand towards him, saying he must consume it all. But he swings it back. “Not without sharing, I won’t.”
The fruit is a bit overripe, but very fleshy and sweet. Its heady aroma envelops us. Even in the limited illumination, I can see the juice darken his teeth. Perhaps he notices my gaze, because he closes his mouth self-consciously. More light glances off his upper lip than his lower, bringing the familiar line into focus. I watch it part in anticipation, ever so slightly—when we kiss, it tastes, unsurprisingly, of pomegranate.
Standing in that hut with the moon spilling in, I feel the future fill with possibility again. Surely it’s the fruit working its magic, focusing Karun’s attention on me, making the distractions loitering outside fade. I pull back to look at his face, am heartened by the encouragement I see in it. Would it be too forward to roll out the mat? Lie there and let the night waft us away?
My gaze falls to his hand, to the quarter of the fruit he still cradles. The white of the pith gleams in the moonlight, stark against the fleshy darkness of the arils. “Would you like me to take the seeds out for you?” I’m ready to crush them between my fingers for juice if he wants, ready to indulge any whim.
“You don’t have to do that.” Although it’s too dark to see, I can tell he blushes when he says it. Perhaps the same sultry memories have welled up in his mind, the same desire to reenact past nights, and he doesn’t quite know why. Perhaps I should confess the connection, spill out all the cures prescribed by Uma, the love potions, the aphrodisiacs, the Kama Sutra myths. As we scoff and giggle at the fantastic claims together, I can coyly point to their validation, at least in our case. What refutation will his scientist mind come up with? How will he feel about my long-drawn-out campaign to mesmerize him?
“Actually,” he says, continuing in his shy tone, and I lean over to kiss him again. It’s worth it, I want to assure him, all the losing and recovery, all the hunting and games, whether or not Uma and her coven of old wives are correct in their tales. All I need is for him to forget what lies outside the shed even for a moment, and I will feel vindicated, relief will pour in. The pomegranate will have delivered its answer, fulfilled its long-heralded promise, reassured me about where I stand with him. I wait for the words that will bind just the two of us, wait as they emerge even now from his lips.
“Actually, Jaz might like some, too. I thought I’d save this piece for him.”
WE ARRANGE THE mats side by side to form one big rectangle. I feel uncomfortable sleeping together with Jaz like this, but it’s the only way to defend my interests—lying apart would leave Karun completely exposed to his wiles. Karun has already parried my hints that Jaz remain outside—claiming it’s too open, too sandy, too unsafe. “All I can think of is how amazing it is that we’re all alive, that we all escaped. Let’s just concentrate on sleep tonight, celebrate that way. Leave any problems for tomorrow—we’ve endured enough for one day.”
The mats are very thin, each reed presses separately into my skin. Jaz finds pieces of gunnysack in a corner to fold into pillows for our heads. Neither he nor I say much—we repose on either side of Karun, the status quo configuration inherited from the elephant. I want to be close to Karun, feel my body tingle against his. But I refrain even from putting my arms around, for fear of touching Jaz, or worse, provoking more aggressive maneuvers by him.
Even with the sea so close and the roof so compromised, the air inside the shed feels hot and still. I lie on my back and try to make out the mosquitoes I can hear swarming above my head. Karun curls his hand around mine and rubs it, more in reassurance, I believe, than anything else. Is he also rubbing Jaz’s hand the same way?
I must doze off, because I have the sudden sensation of waking. The moon is lower now, its rays so oblique they now form a patch on the wall. The mosquitoes circle and hum as before. Perhaps the heat has roused me—sweat drips down my neck, soaks through the layers of my sari. I notice Karun has removed his shirt, so I unwrap the fold of material covering my blouse. This doesn’t cool me much, so I decide to rid myself of the entire sari. Slowly, quietly, I ease out the pleats tucked into the waistband of my petticoat.
Despite my efforts at soundlessness, Karun stirs. He reaches out to squeeze my fingertips, then draws closer to snuggle against my chest. Perhaps my blouse is too moist with perspiration, because almost immediately, he lifts his head off. I stiffen as he starts undoing the hooks—after all, Jaz reposes only inches beyond. Karun kisses the space between my breasts once he frees them from the cloth. “Your petticoat is damp too,” he whispers.
We both end up naked. I feel too exposed with Jaz in the same room, so I draw back my divested sari to spread like a sheet over us. Every rustle and scrape gets amplified in the confines of the shed, and I keep worrying we will awaken Jaz. But he dozes through it all—the kisses and nestling and exploration as Karun and I reacquaint ourselves with each other’s person. “So long since I slept next to you,” Karun says, and I wonder how I could have mistaken his earlier dispassion, misread the pomegranate’s call. As his excitement reaches its usual modest plateau, I realize I can’t sustain it. We don’t have enough room for free movement, for gymnastics like Jantar Mantar. My body ignites just as his fades. He embraces me in a cuddle that promises only affection, unaware of the chemicals that surge through my blood ways.
Karun nuzzles against my body. I caress his neck as he drifts away. It takes me a while before I can calm myself enough to follow him.
Neither the night nor the heat has lifted when my eyes next open, but something has changed. Karun’s breath comes in rasps—he still holds me, but his body seems further away. Abruptly, he arches back his neck, and I feel the fullness of his manhood press into me. I think he’s in the midst of a dream, but through the darkness, I glimpse his eyes are open. He subsides, then pushes forward again, his whole body arching this time, his legs and torso meeting at the focal point of his groin. Seeing me awake, he buries his face in my neck and covers it with kisses. As he presses forth, he pulls me to him, so that my body bends against his in the same arc, like in the yoga asanas we once practiced. I feel his penis climb up my thigh.
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