K. Linde - Take Me for Granted

Everything that the guys had said was swirling around in my mind. Grant was thinking about quitting ContraBand? Why the hell would he do that? He loved the band and his brothers and everything about music. It simply couldn’t be about me. That made no sense.

And the guys had said that he hadn’t cheated? I’d been there on New Year’s. Donovan and Hollis had told me that he’d gone off with someone else, and he’d never messaged me. I’d never messaged him…but still. It seemed likely with Grant’s track record. Did the guys just not know he’d slept with someone on New Year’s? And if he hadn’t slept with someone…did that mean I’d cheated with Henry?

No. I hadn’t wanted that kiss. Well, a part of me had, a drunk part of me, but I’d stopped it.

God, there are too many things to think about. I didn’t want to go rushing over to Grant’s house like a dog with my tail between my legs. We had a lot to talk about. The few weeks of us being apart had felt like an eternity, and at this point, there was so much that needed to be said. It felt like we’d built a wall between us, and I wasn’t sure how ready I was to climb that. It might be easier to try to tear it down with my bare hands.

Deciding that O-chem took precedence over my floundering love life, I drove to the library in a hurry. I found the study group with ease, but I stopped myself from joining them at the last minute. Not only did I not want to have to deal with teaching the group instead of actually learning anything myself…Kristin was with them.

Her mousy brown hair was in a braid over her shoulder, and she was tugging on it as she flirted with some guy from our class. Disgust washed over me. Did the girl never stop?

I hated that I kept seeing her…that I would continue to see her. We had organic chemistry together as well as molecular biology and calc IV. I seriously couldn’t escape the conniving bitch.

Backpedaling, I found a secluded spot on the same level and pulled out my assignment. I quickly got lost in the equations before me. I was finishing up the assignment, my head buried in my book, when I heard someone clear her throat next to me.

I glanced up and groaned. “What do you want?”

“Hey, Aribel,” Kristin said, rocking back and forth on her toes. “I thought you might have been at the study session.”

“Well, I wasn’t. And you’re free to go now.”

“Mind if I take a seat?” She gestured to the chair in front of me.

“Yes, I do mind,” I snapped.

“Is someone else meeting you?”

“If this is you trying to get to Grant, then you can turn around right now and leave. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you. Just leave me alone.”

“This isn’t…I mean, that’s not why I’m here,” she said hastily.

“Then, why are you here? Simply to annoy me?”

“No!” she cried. She quickly glanced around and lowered her voice as she said, “I came to apologize.”

“What for? Being a slutbag whore? Or did you do something else to me that I don’t know about?”

Kristin pulled out the chair and sat down, ignoring the fact that I hadn’t given her permission to do so. “I know I deserve that.”

“You think?”

“Yes,” she said flatly. “I just…I acted like a crazy person. I don’t even know what was wrong with me. I was just so set on hooking up with Grant, and I felt so slighted that he didn’t want me…that he wanted you.”

“Oh, yes, that’s a great way to apologize—dismiss the fact that Grant could want me! I’m just the girl who thinks she’s better than everyone else, right?”

“I’m sorry,” Kristin said earnestly. “And I know that you have no reason to forgive me. I don’t expect you to, but I am sorry.”

I shrugged. I wanted out of this conversation. I wanted her to leave me alone. “You’re right. You have no reason to be forgiven. You accomplished your mission anyway. Grant and I aren’t together.”

“What? Why?”

“Why do you think?” I asked. I started putting my papers back together. The assignment was basically completed. I just needed to get out of here.

“Because of what I did? But nothing happened. He didn’t even touch me.”

“Whatever, Kristin. I don’t know what made you have a change of heart in the last couple of weeks, but I don’t want to hear it. Just leave me alone.”

“All right. I just saw what happened at the New Year’s Eve show.”

My mood darkened. I didn’t want to talk about that either. “About what?”

“Him saying that he loves you. I thought it was really romantic. It’s what made me see how wrong I’ve been,” she whispered.

I sighed and closed my eyes, remembering how I’d felt when Grant had dedicated “Life Raft”— shocked, excited, hopeful. Then, I’d gone backstage to find out Grant had left with someone else. But the guys had said that wasn’t the case. They’d said he hadn’t cheated on me. And I just didn’t know what to believe.

My head hurt, and my heart hurt. My whole world felt like it was crashing down around me. There was only one person who could pick up the pieces, only one person with the answers I needed. I was tired of hiding. I needed to go find Grant.

“Thanks, Kristin,” I said, shooting out of my seat.

“Wh-what?” she asked, surprised.

“I have to go talk to Grant. I mean…he loves me. He basically said he loves me, right?”

“I mean, yeah…I assumed that’s what he meant when he dedicated the song. He’s definitely never said anything like that onstage before.”

Yeah, and she would know since she was a groupie. The anger flared up in me again, but I pushed it back down. There was nothing I could do about that right now. I just needed to find Grant.

“I don’t forgive you for what you did,” I told her bluntly. “But thank you for apologizing and for reminding me.”

“Um…you’re welcome.”

Then, I was dashing out of the building and through the parking lot to my car. I drove recklessly to Grant’s apartment. I knew he’d be alone since all the guys were at my place, but that nagging suspicion crept up in me, wondering if maybe he wouldn’t be alone. I tried to squash that. I could only deal with that when the time came. There was no use in worrying about it now.

The lights were out, and Grant’s truck was missing when I arrived, but I decided to try knocking anyway. When he didn’t answer, I slumped back against the door in defeat. I didn’t know where else he could be. He could be anywhere really. It would probably be best just to call him and find a place for us to meet up. But I wasn’t going to do that tonight.

I had a hunch about his whereabouts, and even though it felt totally insane because he really could be anywhere, I still started up my car and followed my gut instincts.

“This fucking sucks,” I grumbled into the wind.

I rested my hands on my knees as I sat on the blanket, and I stared out at the ocean. My foot absentmindedly kicked at the cold sand. I’d brought extra blankets with me, but I was just suffering through the icy temperatures.

After threatening Donovan and getting thrown from the party, I’d driven straight down the shore. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. My friends were hanging out at Ari’s apartment, a place where I didn’t belong. I didn’t want to be in Princeton where I could sit around and be miserable. The only place I ever wanted to think was the beach. And I had a lot to think about.

I hadn’t been out here long, but already, I was questioning if it was helping any. A lot of demons were chasing me, and none of this was making it any better. I suddenly wished that I’d brought a bottle out with me or at least a joint. Any of my old vices would have done the trick. Anything to numb the pain, but I didn’t have anything with me. I’d more or less given everything up cold turkey when Ari had walked out.

I just had the sand, the water, the moon, and a million tiny stars to mock me. Congratulations on ruining your entire life, fuck up. You’re a good-for-nothing, worthless waste of space. How you managed to get this far in life, we’ll never understand.

I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts, dropped back onto the blanket, and threw my arms over my face. Maybe I’ll just sleep out here. Hypothermia sounds preferable to this shit.

Footsteps echoed in the sand behind me. Hopefully, it wasn’t a cop who was going to tell me to get the fuck off the beach. That would just be my luck.

I thought the person had passed by until a shadow fell over me. There wasn’t much light out here, but there was enough to know someone was standing over me.

I dropped my hands and started to sit up to explain to the cop that I was going to leave, but I just stopped everything I was doing and stared.

“Ari,” I whispered. My voice was strained.

She was here.

How?

No. This didn’t make any sense.

She was a vision, a beautiful ethereal vision.

Before I knew what was happening, I scrambled to my feet and reached my hand out to touch her cheek. Her skin was warm beneath my icy fingers, and she shivered. Oh God, she’s real. She was so soft, and fuck did I want her. It wasn’t just physical need either. I wanted to fuck her, but I wanted her. I just wanted to pull her into my arms and know that she wasn’t fucking going anywhere.

“Hey, Grant,” Aribel finally murmured.

“How did you know I would be here?”

“I didn’t.” She sighed softly. “Can I sit with you?”

“Sure.” I gestured for her to take a seat on the blanket. “So…if you didn’t know I’d be here, why did you come?”