“Are you going to be okay?” Cheyenne asked.

I shook my head. “No. I don’t know.”

Whatever Cheyenne said next was lost on me as Grant sang our song. Despite the gentle quality of his voice, I could tell he was struggling to get the words out.


You’re my life raft in an endless ocean.


They ate at him. They showed every single emotion that he’d been sending through those text messages over break. He missed me, and he was hurting.


You saved me from drowning.

You saved me from myself.


And everything about him in that moment showed me how much the words affected him. He was drowning, and I wasn’t there to pull him out of it. I felt my heart breaking all over again.

The song ended, and without another word, Grant stormed offstage. The other guys stared after him in shock. This clearly had not been part of their plan. Grant had just disappeared. I needed to get to him.

Miller recovered himself enough to grab the microphone and thank the crowd for coming out to see them. It cut their show off by at least three songs. They always closed with “Letting You.” Something was wrong.

“We need to get backstage,” I told Cheyenne frantically.

“What the fuck was that about?” she asked as she gestured for us to break through the crowd.

“I don’t know, but it wasn’t good. He wrote that song for me.”

“He wrote ‘Life Raft’ for you?” Cheyenne asked in disbelief. “Holy shit! That’s their best fucking song.”

“Yeah, and he kind of looked like he was going to go off the deep end when he was singing it.”

“Well, no shit! What do you think he’s going to do?”

“I don’t know. Nothing. He was probably just pissed.”

“Then, why are we running?” Cheyenne asked.

I didn’t justify that with an answer. I didn’t know what Grant was thinking. He’d never stormed offstage before. He loved his music. But he missed me. I knew he did. I didn’t think the combination of all that pent-up anger and frustration along with the reminder of me was going to do anything good for him in his mental state.

We rounded a corner that took us to the backstage entrance. A bunch of girls were standing around. Some were talking to the bouncer, and it looked like they were trying to sweet talk their way backstage. Other girls were just hanging around, hoping someone would let them inside. Cheyenne confidently elbowed her way past all the annoying girls and walked right up to the bouncer. One of the girls gave her a death glare.

“Name?” he asked, giving us a look that said he was thankful not to be talking to the other girl now.

“Cheyenne Redding and guest.”

The man ran his hand down the list and then checked us off. “Good to go, ladies.”

“How—”

“Vin,” Cheyenne said dismissively.

Of course.

We got backstage and saw that it was not just a large area, but it was packed. I sighed. I didn’t know where Grant would be and what state I’d find him in.

“Split up?” Cheyenne suggested.

“Sure.”

Not knowing where to start, I turned to the right went in search of Grant. I figured he’d be surrounded by people, but there was the possibility that he was off somewhere alone. I was also looking for the other guys, hoping to catch a glimpse of them coming offstage, but I had no such luck.

I was thinking about circling back to the entrance to find Cheyenne when I nearly ran into a guy. He looked like he was in a hurry and pissed.

I squeaked and got out of his way. “Sorry.”

His gaze fell on me, and his anger disappeared. It was replaced with curiosity, and then he smiled. “No problem at all. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“No harm, no foul,” I said.

“Can I help you with anything?”

“I’m just looking for Grant McDermott,” I said with a sigh.

I always felt like I was looking for him at these kinds of things. They needed to make the backstage smaller.

“Oh, Grant? Yeah, sure. I just saw him walk out.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “Where did he go?”

The guy shot me an amused look, and my stomach dropped.

“I think he had a girl with him, so I can only imagine.”

No. I wouldn’t believe what he was telling me. That just didn’t make any sense.

“Um…are you sure? I mean…he looked pretty upset when he got offstage.”

“He was pretty upset. I don’t know if we’ve met, but I’m Hollis Tift. I manage The Drift. I’ve been working pretty closely with Grant since Halloween. I have a feeling you’re this Ari who everyone keeps talking about.”

I blushed. “Um…yeah, I am.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, Ari, but this is just how it is. This is the life.” He spread his arms wide, indicating all the groupies. “I’m sure he liked you. But why would he wait around? He realized his mistake, and he’s reconciling that problem.”

My mouth hung open, and for once, I was rendered completely speechless. I couldn’t listen to this. I couldn’t believe this. This wasn’t Grant. This wasn’t the man I’d fallen for.

But when we had started talking, he hadn’t been in this position. I hadn’t been worried about the groupies before, but these girls were professionals.

I opened my mouth to contradict him, but he cut me off. “It’s a hard lesson to learn. You seem like a nice girl. If you want my advice, it would be to turn around and get out of here. Find a nice guy who will take care of that pretty face and not break your heart. Grant…he’s in a league of his own. He’s going places. You’re just going to hold him back.”

“I don’t believe you,” I said as strong as I could muster.

“It doesn’t matter to me whether you believe me or not,” Hollis said with shrug.

I pushed away my fears. I didn’t need all of this clouding my mind. I just…I couldn’t believe what he was saying. If Grant cared about me, if he loved me, we could make it work.

“Whatever. Grant has been messaging me all break. He wrote that song for me. I just need to talk to him. So, if you don’t know where he is, I’ll keep looking.”

“Feel free to keep looking, but he’s already gone. He left with Jaci ten minutes ago.”

I shook my head and stumbled away from Hollis. I had to find Grant. He couldn’t have left with another woman. He wouldn’t do that to me. Sure, we were on a break, but we weren’t broken up. I knew that I hadn’t responded to his messages. I knew that things were kind of fucked-up. I just couldn’t fathom that they were over.

When I finally found the back exit, I pushed it open and gazed out at the small parking lot. I didn’t see Grant’s truck, but that didn’t mean anything. He could have parked somewhere else. I felt like I was grasping at straws, but I just couldn’t let any of those things be true.

I heard a commotion behind me, and I slowly turned in hopes that Grant was still inside. But it was just Donovan fending off a group of girls. I rolled my eyes and looked away.

“Ari, good to see you,” he called out when he saw me. “Jesus, it’s freezing. Let’s close that door.”

With a sigh, I let him shut it behind me. It wasn’t like staring out in the cold was going to bring Grant back. I just couldn’t believe that he was with a girl. I’d meant to surprise him by showing up, but maybe I should have just given in and texted him.

“Everything all right?” Donovan asked.

My heart beat in my chest as I looked up at Donovan. I didn’t want to ask him what I was about to ask. I couldn’t have him confirm it, but I just had to know. Maybe Donovan wouldn’t even know.

“Have you seen Grant?”

Donovan looked uncomfortable for a minute. “Uh…yeah, I saw him.”

“Do you know where he is?” Hope sparked in me.

“I’m sorry, Ari.”

And he did look sorry. Shit.

“What are you sorry about?”

“I saw him leave.”

“Oh,” I whispered. “Are you sure?”

“When I was out with him last night, he told me that you guys broke up.”

“We…wait, he said that?”

I was not going to get upset about this again. I’d thought that we were just on a break, but he must have assumed it was an official breakup…that we’d talk about getting back together when I came home. I’d never given him any indication otherwise.

“Yeah, he did.” Donovan’s hand dropped onto my shoulder, and he looked at me sympathetically. “Just so you know…I think he’s crazy.” His other hand came up and pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “If I had a girl as beautiful as you, I’d never let you out of my sight, seventeenth-century antiquated ideals or not.”

I stepped away from his touch, and my back hit the door. “Thanks for your concern. I’m sure you have hundreds of girls much more beautiful than me throwing themselves at you.”

“None as beautiful as you who are turning me down.”

“I bet you don’t have any others doing that.”

Donovan shrugged. He knew that I was right. “Why don’t you forget McDermott tonight? Stay for my show. Haven’t you ever wanted to see a Drift show from the side of the stage? We could hang out after. We’d have a good time.”

For some reason, I had a feeling that his definition of a good time and my definition of a good time weren’t the same thing. And the only person I wanted to be with was Grant. Even if he was off with someone else tonight, I still wanted him.

“Appreciate the offer, but—”

My words were cut off when Donovan bent down and brushed his lips against mine. Fire alarms went off in my mind. This was wrong. This wasn’t Grant. Even if Grant was with someone else, I didn’t want to kiss someone that he knew. I didn’t want to be around people who were associated with Grant. I needed to get out and get out now.