“You okay there, buddy?” Tony asked, looking at me with concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I shook my head to clear it.
I still felt a little weird, but I ignored it as I took my place and picked up the guitar sitting next to the mic stand. It seemed to be tuned good enough, so I waited as Jade, Eric, and Adam adjusted their instruments.
When they gave the okay, Brad’s voice came over the speakers. “Let’s do ‘Whirlwind’ again. I’m going to have you play it a few times, and then we’ll work through whatever needs changed.”
I groaned to myself. Of course that was the song they wanted to start with again. The red light came on a few seconds later, and I waited as first Jade and then Eric and Adam entered the song. When it was my turn, I started singing. I still felt a little dizzy, but I tried to ignore it.
I made it halfway through the song before I had to stop. The room was spinning around me, and as I tried to put the mic in its stand, I lost my balance. In what seemed like slow motion, I fell to the floor, and I heard Jade shouting my name.
The next thing I knew, Adam was shaking me. I groaned as I tried to sit up. My head felt like it was splitting open.
“Stay down for a minute. You hit your head when you fell,” Jade said, leaning over me.
“It fucking hurts.” I lifted a hand to touch the back of my head. Luckily, there was no blood when I pulled it away.
“Your head is too hard to be hurt,” Adam grumbled as he helped me stand.
Jade glared at him as she wrapped her arm around me to help support my weight. The room was still spinning, and I stumbled. Adam caught me as I started to fall again, and Jade grunted as my weight nearly caused her to fall.
Out of nowhere, Brad appeared in front of me. “You all right there, Drake?”
“I’m fine. I’m just dizzy.”
“Why don’t you sit down for a while? It might help,” Jade said.
She and Adam helped me out of the studio and into the control room. They sat me down in a chair next to the soundboard.
When I closed my eyes, the spinning got even worse. “This fucking sucks,” I groaned.
“Has he eaten today?” Tony asked with concern.
“I don’t think so. We were running late this morning,” Jade said, patting my knee.
Tony picked up the phone and ordered someone to bring me a can of soda and whatever food they could find. “There. They will have it down here in a few minutes,” he said as he hung up.
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
I was still dizzy when my food arrived. I choked down whatever it was and chugged my soda.
Jade hovered around me with a concerned look on her face. “Are you still dizzy?”
“I am, but I’ll be fine. Quit acting like a mother hen.” I leaned down and rested my head in my hands.
“Maybe we should call it a day. Let’s get Drake back to the hotel, so he can rest,” Brad said. He pulled out his phone and called Alex to come and pick us up.
My bed sounded heavenly right about now. Between the headache and the dizziness, I wasn’t sure I could stand, let alone sing. Eric and Adam helped me up and led me to the elevators. Jade promised Brad she’d call later to let him know how I was doing, and then we rode up to the first floor.
Once we made it back to the hotel, the guys helped me out of the limo and up to my room. They all but tossed me onto the bed as all three of them circled around me.
“Thanks for helping me, guys. I’m going to try to get some sleep. Maybe that will help,” I said, looking up at them.
“Do you want something for your head? Is it safe for you to even take anything with cocaine in your system?” Jade asked angrily.
I was not in the mood for this right now. “I’m fine. I just need to sleep.”
“No, you need to stop using. This is getting out of hand!” Jade shouted.
“No, it’s already been out of hand for a while,” Eric said, staring down at me.
“Just leave me the fuck alone right now, okay? I’m not in the mood to fight with you guys!” I yelled.
“Whatever. I’m so sick of this shit,” Adam growled.
“We all are. Drake, please get help before you kill yourself,” Jade pleaded.
“Get. Out,” I said in a deadly quiet voice that I’d never used with Jade.
“Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall!” She stomped her foot.
If I wasn’t so pissed, I would have laughed at her.
“What would Chloe say if she saw you like this? Maybe I should text her and tell her exactly what is going on instead of sugarcoating everything for her.”
I sat straight up in the bed. “You’ve been talking to Chloe?”
Her eyes widened as she realized what she’d said. “I…uh—”
“You have! What did she say? How is she?” I asked. I had to know how she was. If Jade had mentioned that she was still talking to Chloe before this, I would have been bugging her daily for updates. Instead, I’d spent the last two-and-a-half months going mad, wondering what she was up to.
“She’s okay. She checks in every once in a while to see how you are. She knows that you’re still using, but she doesn’t know how bad it is. She’s worried to death about you.”
She was worried about me. That brought me more happiness than I wanted to admit. I was afraid that she’d already moved on and forgotten about me.
“Amber has forced her to go on a few dates, but she’s not over you yet.”
And there went my happiness. Chloe was dating again. It didn’t matter that Jade had said Chloe wasn’t over me. She was trying to move on with someone else.
“With who? Logan? Jordan?” I asked.
“I have no idea who it is, but I don’t think it’s either of them. From what she’s told me, I think they’re guys Amber knows from around campus.”
I wanted to kill Amber for pushing Chloe to move on. I knew Amber was just being a good friend, but I didn’t want Chloe to give up on me. If she kept dating, she would eventually find some asshole who actually deserved her, and any hope that I had of winning her back would be gone.
“Can you guys please leave me alone?” I asked.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. It just slipped out,” Jade said.
“I’m not upset. I just want to sleep right now,” I lied.
“If you’re sure—” she said.
“I am.”
Adam and Jade left the room, but Eric stayed behind. I groaned as I rolled over until my back was facing him. Maybe he would take the hint and leave.
“Why don’t you focus on what Jade just told you? Maybe that will help you deal with this.”
“What? The fact that Chloe is dating other guys? Yeah, that’ll perk my mood right up,” I said sarcastically.
“Exactly. Maybe it’s what you need to wake up and see how messed up things are. You need to focus on getting clean and getting her back before some other guy snatches her up.”
I rolled over to look at him. “Just thinking about some other guy kissing her or touching her makes me want to fly back to West Virginia and kick his ass.”
“Then, you should use that anger to keep your focus. Every time you want to use, picture her with someone else.”
“That won’t help me. It’ll make me lose my mind,” I grumbled.
“Just think about it, okay? All that stands between you and Chloe is your powder.”
I stayed silent as he turned and left the room. He was insane if he thought his idea would work. Picturing her with someone else would make me go insane. It definitely wouldn’t help me stay in control.
I closed my eyes and let the spinning take over until I finally passed out.
5
The next few weeks passed by in a blur. We spent most of our time in the studio, recording tracks for the album. Brad seemed satisfied with how fast we were moving, but everyone else’s mood was less than happy. The band kept track of me constantly. It was as if they were waiting for me to pass out again. After that one afternoon, I didn’t have any more dizzy spells. I always made sure to eat something every morning just in case that was what had caused me to pass out.
The thought of Chloe with someone else was constantly on my mind. I started using more, and I was almost out. I snuck out one night and found a dealer in one of the clubs located in a bad part of L.A. It wasn’t hard. While L.A. was an amazing city, there were tons of ghetto areas to choose from.
I tried to keep my addiction under control, but I knew the band was well aware of what I was doing. They tried to talk to me about it occasionally, but I always shut them down before we started fighting. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to stop, and I wasn’t sure if I could. I debated on calling Chloe on more than one occasion, but I stopped myself. She’d probably just hang up on me, and that would make me feel worse.
Brad’s voice pulled me away from my thoughts, and I tried to focus on what he was saying.
“You guys did great today. Your single is ready, and I plan on releasing it sometime next week.”
We’d spent the entire day working on the album, and I was beat. It was good to know the single would be released soon. At least we weren’t doing all of this for nothing. While I knew how much work went into our music, I had no idea how hard it would be to record it professionally. Some days, we would work on just one song, doing it over and over again, until I was sick of it.
“That’s awesome! I can’t wait to hear us on the radio!” Jade said as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet.
“Why don’t you guys take the rest of the night off? I think we got what we need for today, and you all could use a night to yourselves. Go out and enjoy L.A. nightlife. Pretty soon, you won’t be able to without being attacked by fans,” Brad said with a smile.
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