“Will I ever really be able to move on?”

“You will, but it’ll take time. You’ve spent so much of your life running from it that you never truly took the time to mourn them. You accepted their deaths the first time you were sent to a rehabilitation program, but you never dealt with it.”

Well, I was definitely mourning them now. It felt like my heart was being ripped out as I let myself finally feel the pain of their deaths. I let the pain overtake me until I was paralyzed with it. I wanted to escape from it, but I didn’t. Dr. Peters was right. I always ran, and right now, I was tired of running. It was time to face my demons and start over.

After learning to deal with my parents’ deaths, I was almost glad when we moved on to Chloe. I was learning to look at things differently, and compared to my parents, talking about Chloe was easy. While I knew that I’d lost her, I still had hope that I could have her back in my life again. Dr. Peters explained that while it was important to depend on my significant other, it was unhealthy to feel like I couldn’t live without her. I loved Chloe, but I also needed her in an unhealthy way.

He worked with me to help separate the two sides of my relationship with her, love and need, and in doing so, I realized that he was right. I’d depended on her in a way that I shouldn’t have. My feelings for her never changed, but I realized that I’d put her on a pedestal as my saving angel when I didn’t need to.

Through all of this, I felt myself growing stronger, both mentally and physically. Now that I was actually eating at least three times a day, I was gaining back all of the weight that I’d lost from using cocaine. I spent most of my recreational time outside, and my pale skin was starting to bronze. Between the weight gain and free tanning, I was starting to look human again. When I first entered the program, I’d thought that I looked fine. The first night that I came here, the nurse had snapped a picture for my identification card. When I looked at it weeks later, I was shocked. I’d looked horrible. My skin had been pasty, my eyes had appeared dead, and I’d looked almost skeletal compared to how I looked now. It was amazing how much I’d changed since I came here. I felt like a new person.

As my time in the program came to a close, I had to admit that I was relieved. Now that I was able to see things clearly, I wanted to get back out into the real world and start living my life again. I wanted to fix things with the band first, and then it would be time to find Chloe. I had already mentally prepared myself for the possibility that she might not want me back, but I wouldn’t let go of my last string of hope. I loved her more than ever now, and I wanted to prove it to her.

When I walked into Dr. Peters’s office to say good-bye, it just felt right. I was ready to move on with my life.

He glanced up at me. “Hello, Drake. I assume this is your farewell visit.”

“It is. I just wanted to say good-bye and thank you for everything.”

“No thanks are needed. You did all the work. I was just here to help you along.”

“Well, you did your job then. I haven’t felt this good in a long time.”

“I’m glad to hear it. If you ever need anything, you have my number. Don’t hesitate to call me, and I mean that.” He pulled a piece of paper out of his desk drawer. “And here is your certificate for completing the program. I thought you might need it as proof for certain people.”

Chloe. He knew that I was going to go after her, and he wanted to help me in any way he could.

“I will, and thanks again, doc.” I waved and then turned to walk out the door.

As soon as I reached the desk in the main lobby, I heard someone shouting my name. I looked up just in time to see Jade throwing herself at me. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my neck.

“Whoa! Hi to you, too.” I pried her off of me.

“Sorry. I’m just so excited. You’re free!”

Eric and Adam were standing a few feet away. Both of them were grinning from ear to ear.

Eric stepped closer and gave me one of those one-armed hugs that only guys could pull off. “It’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back. I’m ready to get out of here.”

I glanced at Adam, but he rolled his eyes. “Don’t expect me to get all misty eyed over you. I’m glad you’re back. Let’s leave it at that.”

I laughed. “Missed you, too, jackass.”

It took me a few minutes to sign all the paperwork to check myself out. As soon as I was finished, I followed the band out to the parking lot. They stopped in front of a brand-new Dodge Charger.

“Who does this belong to?” I asked.

“That would be me. It was the first thing I bought with the money from the label,” Adam said as he unlocked the car.

“He’s not kidding either. As soon as they put the money into our accounts, he went to the dealership and bought this thing.” Jade said as she shook her head.

“I hope it lasts longer than the rest of your cars.” I grinned.

“Fuck off and get in,” Adam growled. “And don’t scratch my baby.” He sat down in the driver’s seat.

Jade took the passenger seat while Eric and I climbed into the back. I had to admit that Adam’s new car was a sweet ride, but I still preferred my baby back home. Hopefully, I could go back and pick it up soon.

Jade turned around to look at me. “We just signed the papers for your new place yesterday. Are you ready to see it?”

On their last visit, she had informed me that they were going to get me a place, so I’d have somewhere to go once I was released.

“Yeah, but I need to make one stop first,” I said.

“Sure. Where to?” Adam asked as he started the car. He began pulling out of the lot.

“The nearest jewelry store.”

8

I couldn’t remember the last time that I’d been this nervous. I could do this. I knew I could. Then, why had I sat in my car for the last hour, staring at the house across the street from me? I needed to man up and take care of this shit.

It had taken me forever to find her. Without thinking, I’d driven to the dorm where she was staying before she moved in with me. I walked straight up to her room and knocked on the door. Imagine my surprise when two girls who I’d never seen before had answered the door. I’d tried Amber’s room next, but again, two girls who I didn’t know had greeted me. I’d even tried the bar, hoping that maybe she still came in here occasionally. No one had seen her in months. It was like she’d just disappeared from the face of the Earth. When I’d stopped at her Starbucks, at least people knew who she was, but they had no idea where she could be. She hadn’t worked there since we left the summer before.

I’d finally hit some luck when I stopped at a gas station to fill-up.


Her old roommate, Rachel, pulled in next to me. When she got out of her car, the shocked look on her face was priceless. I knew it was safe to say that Rachel had talked to her since our split. There was no other explanation for the way her mouth had dropped open.

“Hey, Rachel.”

“Drake? Holy crap, it is you! What are you doing back here?”

“Trying to find Chloe. The keyword there is trying. Do you know where she is?”

She bit her lip, clearly debating on whether or not to tell me.

“Please. I need to find her,” I pleaded.

“I’ll tell you where she is, but if this goes south, don’t tell her it was me.”

I grabbed a crumpled piece of paper and a pen out of my car. I smoothed out the paper, and I wrote down the directions as she gave them to me.

I started to get into my car, but then I stopped. “Rachel?”

She looked up. “Yeah?”

“Is she…I mean…is Chloe with anyone?”

She gave me a small smile. “Not that I know of.”

I wanted to jump up and down, scream, and fist-pump, but I contained myself. Chloe wasn’t with anyone. She hadn’t forgotten about me.

“Thank you.”


I pulled myself back to the present as I threw open my door and walked across the street to her house. If I didn’t do this now, I never would. Before I chickened out, I pounded on the door. I waited a minute or two before knocking again. There were lights on inside, so I knew someone had to be home. If no one would answer, I planned on sitting in my car until someone opened the door.

Just as I was turning to walk away, the door flew open.

“Yes?” Chloe asked grumpily.

I turned to face her and froze for a second. She was as beautiful as I remembered. She had her hair tied back in a messy bun and was in old sweatpants and a simple shirt, but she still took my breath away. It had been like this from the beginning. There was just something about this woman.

“Hi, Chloe.” I gave her a small smile.

Her eyes widened in shock just before she slammed the door in my face. Well, that went as I’d expected, but I wasn’t about to give up that easily. The girl was going to talk to me whether she wanted to or not. I stepped forward and pushed the doorbell that I hadn’t noticed before.

I could hear someone shouting inside, and then it was absolutely quiet. Now, what the hell was I supposed to do? Should I stand on her porch all night and hope that she came out eventually?

My head snapped up as the front door opened again. Instead of seeing Chloe, Amber stepped outside and closed the door quietly.

“Well, if it isn’t Mr. Rock Star himself,” she growled.