Jamie Begley - Tainted

“Y—you could have given me the c—choice.”

“You weren’t making good decisions. You’re still not.”

“How am I not making good decisions, Kaden?” Sawyer got right back in his face. “Because I don’t let you fuck me like those airheads begging for dick back at the arena? If you needed to get laid, you should have taken a turn with D-mon and Sin or taken Alyce up on what she’s been throwing at you.”

“Why should I stand in line or have what I’ve already had, when I have you staring at me all the time. If you want to find out what you’ve been imagining, then all you have to do is ask.”

Sawyer’s hand flew out, striking him across his face. Her anger and embarrassment making her react without thinking.

“You know what really makes me angry?” Kaden’s face turned stone cold. “When women want to hit men and not expect the same.” Sawyer’s face paled as he jerked her to him; her breasts pressed flat against his chest. “And I really don’t like it when they do it because they don’t like that I’m telling them the truth and don’t want to fucking admit it.”

“I—I don’t want you,” Sawyer denied.

“Prove it.”

Sawyer wanted to smack him again, but decided not to press her luck. “Fuck off.” She moved to go around him, and this time, he didn’t move to block her path.

“Chicken.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement.

Sawyer swung angrily back around to face him. “I’m not afraid of you, Kaden.”

“I don’t doubt you, by the way you just smacked me. What I was referring to was to you wanting to fuck me.” His attitude was bringing out the ginger in her.

“Read my lips, you arrogant ass, I do not want you.”

“Prove it.” Sawyer put her hands in her jeans pockets, not sure she could restrain herself from strangling the man. “It’s okay, Sawyer. A lot of women have a problem resisting me.”

Before she could stop herself, she took a step forward, pressing herself against him, her arms going around his neck. Dragging his head down to hers, she plastered her lips to his. The kiss was brief and passionless as his lips remained unresponsive and closed.

Sawyer didn’t have a lot of experience with different men, but she had considered herself fairly good at kissing. Now she began to doubt herself as her tongue teased the seam of his lips and he still didn’t let her deepen the kiss. Kaden lifted his mouth from her exploring lips, moving away.

“You’ve proven your point. I’ll let you get your shower now. See you in the morning.”

Confused, Sawyer stared at him,biting her lip. “I—I don’t understand.” She wanted to take back her words as soon as she spoke, but Kaden paused before walking back to her.

“Did you want me to respond or did you just want to prove that you could make me want you while you held yourself back?” Both, Sawyer admitted frankly to herself. “If you want me to respond, you have to kiss me the way I like to kiss. You didn’t. It was an okay kiss, nothing special.”

“W—what did I do wrong?” She frowned at him.

She had kissed him like she had the few other men she had kissed. She didn’t think she was as bad at it as he seemed to think she was.

Kaden moved closer to her, keeping his arms by his side.

“You want my mouth, you ask for it.” Sawyer licked her lips, wanting to disappear into the bathroom, but it had become a matter of pride with her. Despite all the warnings buzzing through her mind, she had never backed down from anyone yet.

Feeling ridiculous, she forged ahead. “Can I kiss you?” Sawyer asked, feeling stupid.

“May I kiss you,” Kaden repeated the phrase the way he wanted her to express it.

Sure now that she was gradually swimming out of her depth, she repeated his words. “May I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

This time Sawyer raised herself up to reach his mouth with hers. It was different from the moment their lips met. His mouth was warm and responsive, giving her what she had expected the first time she had kissed him. Her tongue timidly traced his lips, entering the warm recesses of his mouth when he opened his, allowing her entrance. He tasted like peppermint. The warmth making her want to draw closer to him.

She leaned into him, giving him more of her weight. Her nipples under her thin sweater and bra hardened as she felt his chest against hers. Her hands swept across his chest, feeling the firm flesh covered with tats.

He took his mouth away, drawing a reluctant whimper from her.

“Did I give you permission to touch me?” She saw from his clear gaze that he hadn’t been as affected as she was by their kiss.

“N—no,” she whispered.

“I expect you to ask, Sawyer.”

She was definitely certain she was out of her depth, but she pressed on, not wanting to stop kissing him.

“Can—” At his frown, she stopped. “May I touch you?”

“Yes.” Sawyer leaned back into him at the same time she reached up to take his mouth again. This time he met her halfway, taking control of the kiss, opening her mouth to his exploration. Her body melted against his, her arms hesitantly sliding around his neck as his hand curled around her hips, pulling her even closer.

The chemistry between them could easily get out of control if she wasn’t careful, and she was about to call a halt, when again he pulled away from her.

“They should be done getting the tire fixed by now. I need to check and make sure everything is okay.”

Sawyer stood still, her breathing uneven, as she lowered her arms to her sides.

“Goodnight, Sawyer.” He then left without waiting for her reply.

Sawyer stood, staring at the closed door, until she felt the bus start moving again. She then went into the bathroom and took off her clothes before stepping into the shower.

Ignoring the warning in her head had been the biggest mistake of her life; however, her fighting instincts had her refusing to back down from his challenge. She had to be smart and bide her time until he gave her the money he’d promised. Then Vida and she could disappear to live the life they had always dreamed. All she had to do was keep her distance from Kaden for the next three months. Then, she would be free.

Sawyer knew it was going to be easier said than done.

Sawyer sat at the kitchenette table drinking a cup of coffee, when the bus driver told them they were an hour away from R.J.’s house. She was looking forward to getting off the bus for a few days. She had been getting sick to her stomach from the motion of the bus when she had first started out with the band. Alec had given her a bottle of medicine—which she would dab a small amount behind her ear every morning— and it had made the constant motion of the bus more bearable; however, the confining space, with so much male testosterone was beginning to wear on her nerves. That, combined with the food, was making her want to throw a screaming fit. The only thing holding her back was the embarrassment of making a fool of herself.

Ax slid into the seat across from her. “Getting stir crazy?”

“I don’t know if I could take one more day on this bus,” Sawyer confessed.

“It gets to us all. That’s why we have to take intermittent breaks. Without them, arguments start and it affects the performances.”

“I can understand that. I feel like punching something myself.”

“Don’t do well being confined, huh?”

Sawyer shook her head. “No, it reminds me too much of my childhood.” She looked outside the window at the passing scenery. Unaware the others had stopped playing cards and were listening to her conversation with Ax. She had always kept to herself, but thinking about her childhood had made her melancholy, lowering her guard.

“Your parents kept you confined on a bus?” Ax asked teasingly.

“No, our apartment was smaller than this and definitely not as well decorated.” Sawyer’s lips tightened as her memories played in her mind. Her hand went to her hair, twisting a lock of her reddish gold hair around her finger over and over again.

“A—after my father was killed in a car accident, my mother became over-protective. She babysat other children to earn money, so I stayed home with her until kindergarten. The only friends I had were the other children she babysat. We thought we were sisters. We didn’t understand until we were four or five that we weren’t related.

“Because we didn’t live in the best neighborhood, she was afraid to let us go outside to play. As we grew older and went to school, we would always sneak and play for a few minutes before we went inside, because once we were inside, she wouldn’t let us back out. Vida, Callie and I learned to make the most of that time. We would drive everyone in the neighborhood and apartment building crazy.” Sawyer paused, blinking back tears. She missed those times so badly. Sometimes she looked back and thought that those moments with Vida and Callie were the best times in her life, and then her mother’s stern face had her thinking the opposite.

“It sounds like you were all close.”

Sawyer’s smile was sadly reminiscent.

“We were. We were so different. Vida is a brunette, Callie had black hair, and me with my red hair always made it easy to identify the culprit of our crimes. They would, of course, tell our mothers. My mother would make me stay in for several days. Vida’s mom was laid back so she never got into too much trouble.”

“How about Callie? Was her mom like yours or Vida’s?” Ax asked softly, as if he knew she was lost in the past.

“Neither. Brenda never let Callie out much. She never went to Kindergarten. Brenda kept telling social services she was too sick.” Unconsciously, Sawyer’s hand went back to a red curl, tugging and pulling at the tendril over and over. “When she would get in trouble, Brenda would beat her. She blacked her eye one time, and everyone in the apartment building knew it. Not one adult tried to stop her though.”