"Fuck," he said. "Just…"

"I like it when you say please," I told him.

He blinked again. I watched his throat work as he

swalowed. My fingers twisted in the hair at the nape of his

neck. I watched him give in to me.

"Please," Austin said, and I came just from the sound of his acquiescence.

His arms tightened around me as I shook with it. His

mouth found mine again. This time when he started to

move, I gave him what he wanted. I moved with him, not

against him.

His hands slid down beneath my ass to lift me higher on his

cock, and I countered with a downward thrust and a rol

of my hips that twisted me on him. I lost my grip in his hair

and had to settle for clutching at his back. My nails dug

furrows he'd notice later, but just then he only moaned into

my mouth.

my mouth.

I couldn't come again, but it didn't matter. Austin could,

and did with a grunt. His fingers bruised my ass and I

didn't care. Our bodies smacked and slapped, and my bed

shook. I bit his shoulder and he shouted and thrust so

deep inside me it hurt. I didn't care about that, either.

Blinking, tasting sweat, I opened my eyes and looked into

his. I felt the jump and play of muscles in his thighs and

bely and arms. Austin shivered a little, but I didn't think it

was from the cold.

I unwrapped my arms from his neck and tried to do the

same with my legs, but he clutched me close. "Don't go

yet."

The fucking was done. We used to spoon sometimes after

sex, in the bed we'd shared. In the dark. That was when

we talked the most, after the fucking was done.

I didn't want to talk to Austin now. With my body sated,

my mind wanted to block out the feelings he always

brought up in me. I pushed at his chest, and he let me go.

I went to the bathroom before he could say anything else. I

turned on the shower and got in without waiting for it to

turned on the shower and got in without waiting for it to

heat. Austin didn't come into the bathroom until steam had

veiled it. I heard him use the toilet, then run water in the

sink. I heard him fil my glass and set it down a moment

later. I waited for him to open the curtain and come in, but

though I was prepared to tel him to get out, Austin left the

bathroom.

He was dressed and sitting at the smal desk in my corner

by the time I came out, wrapped in a towel. He was too

big for my chair and that desk, another old piece I'd

inherited from my grandma. He was too big for me.

He looked up when I came in, and I saw he wasn't just

sitting there. He held my cel phone in one hand, the screen

flipped open. I hadn't heard it ring.

"What are you doing?"

Austin slowly closed my phone and set it on the desk. He

stood. He was too big for my room, too.

I wished I'd taken the time to pul on my robe. A towel

didn't seem adequate protection against the way he was

looking at me. I grabbed for my nightgown, but it had

tangled in itself when I threw it on the floor, and I couldn't

tangled in itself when I threw it on the floor, and I couldn't

easily slide it over my head.

"You got a message," Austin said. "While you were in the shower."

"Since when are you alowed to listen to my messages?" I

yanked the cotton into place and tugged it over my head.

With it covering my face, I closed my eyes, wishing when I

opened them I'd discover this was al an inconvenient

dream.

"A text message," he said.

I yanked the nightgown down on my shoulders and glared.

"Since when are you alowed to read my messages?"

I stalked to the desk and grabbed up my phone but didn't

look to see who'd caled. I cradled it to my chest, though,

the metal chil through the cotton. Austin didn't move.

"Wel?" I demanded. "What the hel, Austin? Who the hel do you think you are?"

"Apparently, I'm nobody," he said.

I'd braced myself for anger, or accusations. A message

I'd braced myself for anger, or accusations. A message

from Kira or my mom wouldn't have bothered him. It had

to have been from Eric, though I hadn't told him to send

me anything.

"I have to ask you, Paige. Is that what you want?" He

gestured at the phone, but since I didn't know what the

message had been, I couldn't answer.

I refused to look now. "You'd better leave."

Austin shook his head. "Answer me first. I think I deserve

an answer."

"I don't owe you—anything." My voice tore on the last

word and I shut my mouth tight to keep from breaking

totaly.

"Is that what you want?" he asked again, lower now.

To my horror, I saw he wasn't angry. Austin was close to

tears. I'd never seen him cry, not even when the dog he'd

had since toddlerhood had died. I'd watched him bury that

dog without a tear. But now…now, he was almost

weeping.

I had done this to him.

I had done this to him.

I didn't need to beat his ass with a belt to hurt him.

I felt like the worst kind of bitch.

"Is it what you like? Is it what you need?" He looked

helplessly at the headboard, where his hands had left no

marks. I looked, too. We didn't need scratches in the

wood to remember how he'd clutched it.

"I…think…I don't want to talk about this," I gasped out

around tears of my own.

Austin had seen me cry plenty of times. If my tears moved

him, he didn't show it. "Talk about it to me. I want to

know."

He paused, moved forward. Reached for me, though I

backed away.

"Please," he said.

I shook my head and covered my face with my hands, so I

didn't see him getting on his knees in front of me. I only felt

the thud as he hit the floor and the warmth of his hands as

he grabbed my hips. I couldn't look, not even when he

he grabbed my hips. I couldn't look, not even when he

pressed his face to my pussy and whispered my name, his

breath hot through the cotton. I didn't want to feel the wet

of tears against my skin. I wouldn't look, not even when he

inched the fabric of my nightgown into his fists and kissed

my bely, then my thighs.

"Tel me," Austin said. "Is this where you want me?"

A strangled sound launched itself from my throat. I tried to

take a step back, but his hands held me in place. He

kissed me again, slow and lingering. Heat and wet against

my cunt. Heat and wet against my thigh as he turned his

face to press against me there.

"Because I'l do it, if it makes you happy, Paige. I'l get on

my knees for you any time you want it. I'l let you do what

you want. If you tel me what you want me to do, I'l do it.

Whatever it takes, remember? Just…tel me. Please."

"I want you to shut up and go," I said as best I could

without breath. It had stuck in my throat, too, my world

spinning dizzily as I tried to draw in more air. "Just go,

Austin!"

"If that's what you want." He stood and his hands slid up

"If that's what you want." He stood and his hands slid up

my body to pul me closer to him.

My nightgown fel back down, but it was no protection

against him. His belt buckle pressed my bely. The denim

of his jeans scratched my bare legs. I had my hands

between us, pushing at his chest, and he snared them both

in his. Too late, I realized I would have to look at him

now.

"I love you," Austin said. "Don't you know that?"

I opened my mouth and he kissed me until I turned my

face.

"You don't want to know it," he said.

"We've been through this before," I whispered. "It doesn't work with us."

"I want it to work. Things are different now. Aren't they?

I'm different." He paused and tugged me half an inch

closer. "You're different. You know you are."

But I hadn't wanted him to know.

"We weren't al bad together," he said.

"We weren't al bad together," he said.

I looked at him again. "We weren't al good together,

either."

"I want to be with you. Not just to fuck you once in a

while. Again, serious. You and me. I'm wiling to try."

I almost said yes. But then I said no. "Leave."

"Whatever it takes," Austin said, and kissed me until I

couldn't breathe.

I didn't walk him to the door. I waited until I heard it close

behind him before I looked at the message on my phone.

It was from Eric, as I'd thought.

If I were with you right now, I'd be on my knees for you.

Your slave. I'd worship you. I wish I could be with you

right now.

It's easy to look back and blame a lot of things on

circumstance, and I could blame what had just happened

with Austin for my response to Eric. But I'l own what I

did. I answered him.

I think it's time we meet in person.

I think it's time we meet in person.

Then I wiped my face and refused to cry anymore.

Chapter 31

"Paige, I need you to come and stay with Arty next week

while I go away for a few days." My mom, for once, didn't

start with any sort of preamble.

I didn't stop to think about why she was asking, just that

she was. "Stay at the house?"