When the boys went back to the arcade, Austin convinced
me to put away my magazines and join him in playing
Skee-Bal. He was better than me, racking up the points
while tickets flooded from the slot. I didn't get as many
points, but I had fun trying. When I tossed my last wooden
bal and managed to get it in the ten-point hole, I turned
with a whoop to find him staring at me.
"What?" I said, self-conscious about pizza-sauce stains on my face.
"What's going on with you?"
My phone buzzed and I took it out. "Nothing," I said as I
flipped it open to read the message.
Done with the movie. Ate ice cream. Considering reading
but not sure what. Thinking of getting into bed. So far,
very dul night. Sorry.
I pushed my phone deep into my pocket and bent to tear
off my tickets. "It's getting late. I need to get the boys
home. Let's go cash these in."
Austin stopped me with a hand on my elbow. "Paige."
Around us the noise level never fel below earsplitting, but
I heard him clearly. I raised an eyebrow and looked at his
hand. He took it away.
"Can we talk?"
I searched the crowd for the boys. "It's late, Austin. I
should have the boys back before my dad and Stela get
should have the boys back before my dad and Stela get
home. I didn't leave a note or anything and they'l be
worried."
"I could come with you."
I'd been half turned from him, but now I gave him my ful
attention. "To my dad's house? Are you nuts?"
For a man who'd been underinvolved in my life, my dad
had been furious with Austin when he'd learned we were
splitting. A lot of that was because of me. I hadn't told my
dad the whole story. Hadn't told anyone, realy, just let
them make their own assumptions. My mom was the only
one who'd seen through my silence and guessed the truth.
Not that I felt judged by it. She'd never mentioned it. I just
knew she knew.
"Your old man stil got it in for me?"
"He's not a fan. Jeremy! Tyler! Let's go!"
Tyler ran toward me with his tickets trailing behind him
from his hand. Jeremy folowed with his fisted tight. Before
they could say a word I tore my string of tickets in half and
handed each a section.
handed each a section.
"Go get your prizes and shake your moneymakers. I have
to get you home before your mom and dad."
"Here. Take these, too." Austin gave them each half of his tickets, too.
They knew a good thing when they had it and ran off
before I could change my mind. I turned to Austin. "You
didn't have to do that."
"What am I going to do with a bunch of junky prizes?" He
shrugged. "They're kids."
"It was nice." I sounded grudging, and he shot me a grin.
"I can be nice." I roled my eyes. "Goodbye, Austin."
"I can't come with?"
"To my dad's house, no." I held up a hand. "And no, not later, either."
His glance fel to my pocket. "You have a boyfriend now,
or what?"
Nothing happened to the noise around us, but silence stil
Nothing happened to the noise around us, but silence stil
fel over me. I opened my mouth to reply. Nothing came
out. I tried to think of what to say, but my mind stayed
blank.
"You can tel me if you do." Austin's eyes didn't make me
believe his words.
"I don't have a boyfriend, Austin. Jesus. Is it any of your
business?"
I'd always been able to turn around his accusations, but he
wasn't having it this time. His blue-eyed gaze pinned me in
place as easily as his hands on my wrists had done more
than once. He shrugged.
"Or is it just another fuck buddy?" He paused, slim golden brows furrowing.
"No," I said coldly. "And watch your mouth. There are kids around."
Austin's gaze traveled up and down my body before
settling on my face. I couldn't tel from his expression what
he thought. I didn't have to guess, though, because he told
me.
me.
"You've changed, Paige. A lot."
"People change."
He leveled me with a steady look. "Yeah. They do."
And with that, he turned on his heel and walked away.
Chapter 24
"Austin!"
Heads turned. He stopped. He waited until I caught up to
him, which was more than I'd expected. Maybe more than
I deserved.
"Why do you care?"
It wasn't the question I meant to ask, but I wasn't realy
sure what I'd meant to ask. I clamped my mouth shut on
other words, softer ones. I bit my tongue until I tasted
blood.
"Why don't you?"
"I care," I said in a low voice, conscious we were
surrounded by a hundred pairs of eyes.
"Paige! Can I go play—"
I cut Tyler off by jamming my hand into my pocket and
puling out a palmful of coins. "Go. You and Jeremy go.
Don't leave this building."
"Wow." Tyler took the coins from my hand and looked
from me to Austin. "Thanks, Paige!"
"You're good to them," Austin said when Tyler had gone.
"That's me. Sister of the year." I led the way out the glass front doors to the concrete outside. I wished for a coat,
though my chil came from deep inside and not even an
Eskimo parka would have helped.
We stared at each other until I looked away.
"What do you want from me?"
There wasn't anything wrong with Austin's question, but it
made my stomach twist and turn. "I don't want anything
from you. That's the point. Isn't it?"
"Jesus, Paige!" The doors opened and a mother holding
two kids by the hand pushed her way through. Austin
stepped aside to let her pass and we waited until she'd
halfway crossed the parking lot before he spoke again.
"Why not? Why the fuck not?"
"I don't know!" Again, not what I thought I meant to say
but once the words came out I had no others.
but once the words came out I had no others.
He stepped closer to me. Taler. Broader. I couldn't
decide if I was intimidated or turned on.
"What wil it take to convince you I'm different?"
"What wil it take to convince you I'm not?"
We weren't shouting, but my throat hurt as much as if I'd
screamed. Austin's face worked. He stepped closer stil.
"What do you want? Do you want me to jump through
hoops? Is that it? Is that what you want?" He studied my
face and must have seen something in it, because al at
once his shoulders slumped. "What kind of man does
that?"
Helplessly, I thought of Eric and the mingled heat of
shame, fury and desire mingled with despair. "Some men
would."
Austin tossed his hands in the air and made a noise that
had a depth of meaning, even without words. This time,
when he walked away, I watched him go and I didn't cal
him back.
him back.
The car ride back to my dad's was quieter, thank God, as
Tyler wound down. We made it home to a message on the
answering machine teling us they'd be home later than
expected. I sent Tyler upstairs to brush his teeth and get
into bed, but I held Jeremy back. It was proof of how
much Tyler was worn out that he barely argued.
"Sit." I pointed at one of the bar stools pushed up against the kitchen island. "Want a soda?"
"I'm not supposed to."
I'd already puled out two from the fridge and pushed one
toward him. "Yeah, yeah, save the innocent act for your
mother."
We both cracked the tops of our cans. From upstairs
came the rush of water and some thudding footsteps, then
some singing. I laughed. Jeremy roled his eyes.
"So," I said after I took a long swig. "What crawled up your ass and died?"
"Nothing."
I understood sulen. "Dad says you've been giving him and
Stela a hard time. And that you even got into trouble at
school. What's up, dude?"
"Did Dad tel you to interrogate me?" Jeremy sneered and
didn't even open his soda.
"Ooh. Mr. Vocabulary."
He scowled and hunched over the island. "Why can't he
just leave me alone?"
"Because he's your dad."
Jeremy had the same color eyes as my dad. As me. Blue
edged with gray. Now they'd gone dark with his anger.
"He's your dad, too!"
Of al the things he could have said, I wasn't expecting
something like that. "Yeah. So?"
He shrugged violently and hunched forward again. I leaned
on the island across from him and waited. Jeremy had
used to be a lot like Tyler, mouth going a mile a minute. I
could wait him out.
"Don't you ever…hate him?"
He'd voiced his question so low I almost missed it, but I
didn't lean closer to hear better. I pushed back, instead,
stunned at the vehemence in his tone. "Hate Dad?"
Jeremy lifted watery eyes to me. "Yeah. Don't you?"
I had absolutely no idea what any of this was about, but I
kept my voice gentle. "Why, Jeremy? Do you?"
He ducked his head again. Twelve was tough. Not a kid
anymore, not a teen. I'd given my mom her first gray hairs
when I was twelve.
"He always tels us family is so important." He spat the last word and I heard the snurfle of snot.
I grabbed a couple tissues from the box on the counter
behind me and passed them over. Jeremy grabbed them
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