Today you will know you are strong and beautiful.

Advice meant for him, but I'd taken it, too. The difference

was, I knew something of what he'd been doing and living

the past few weeks, and he had no clue about me.

There was such power in that.

"You have an awfuly high opinion of yourself, Eric." My

"You have an awfuly high opinion of yourself, Eric." My

voice came out different. Lower and sultry. It was the

voice of a woman who had never believed she was

anything but strong and beautiful, and I saw how he heard

it.

He sat up straighter. It was subtle, but I noticed. "You're

right. I shouldn't have assumed."

I wasn't sure what I saw in Eric's eyes, only that I wasn't

ready for it. I made it different with a laugh and a pat to his

arm. "It's okay. I'm just teasing you."

"Right." He laughed, too, but I glimpsed something like

disappointment on his face, so brief I couldn't be sure it

had been there.

I made a show of looking at the clock and getting up. "This

was great, but it realy is getting late."

He was up, too, seconds after me. "Right. Yes."

He walked me to the door, al prim-and-proper-like, and

there I stopped and turned to face him. "Thanks for inviting

me."

Now would have been a good time to kiss me, but he

Now would have been a good time to kiss me, but he

didn't do it. I didn't lean to kiss him, either, though I could

have. I wanted to. I didn't believe for one second he'd turn

me down. And I didn't choke, either, dithering at the last

second about what he might think of me or whether he'd

cal me the next day if I gave it up to him tonight.

I didn't kiss him because I had the power to decide which

way this went. Hours before I'd lain on my bed and

touched myself, thinking it might be his hands. I thought of

doing that now, when I went upstairs. How I'd undress

myself and make myself come pretending it was his fingers

and mouth on my tits and clit, my cunt and ass. Or maybe

I'd think of Austin.

Hel, maybe I'd think of Brad Pitt.

I didn't kiss Eric because he was waiting for me to do it. I

saw it in his eyes and the part of his lips, the cock of his

hip as he leaned against the doorway with one hand up

high and the other hooked in his belt loop. He wanted me

to kiss him, but I knew about him what he didn't know

about me.

I knew he wanted to be told what to do.

"Good night, Eric," I said.

And I didn't give him what he wanted.

Chapter 19

There was an actual voice-mail message waiting for me on

my cel when I got home.

"Paige. It's me. I'm bored. Why don't you come over? Cal

me."

The cal had come in only ten minutes ago, and I wasn't

sure if I wanted to laugh or curse at Austin. It was after

10:00 p.m. on a work night.

"Your booty-cal skils need improving," I said before he

could do more than say helo.

"I knew you'd cal."

"You know shit, Austin."

"What were you doing?" He sounded sleepy, and I hoped

I'd woken him.

"I was on a date." It was only half a lie. It hadn't been an official date, but it had been with another man. It would

infuriate him to hear it. He didn't have to know we hadn't

even kissed.

even kissed.

"Couldn't have been a very good date if you're home

already."

He had a point. "How do you know I'm home? Maybe I'm

just only now answering my phone."

"Couldn't be a very good date if you're talking to me."

He had another point, but I wasn't going to concede it.

"Why do you want me to come over? It's late."

"Is it?" He yawned. "I hadn't noticed. Anyway, you're stil awake. And I'm up. Come over."

"I'm not coming over."

"You're not hanging up, either."

I gave him enough silence to make him think otherwise, but

damn him, Austin knew me too wel. He'd discovered

patience, it seemed, whereas I'd lost mine. "If you were

realy that interested, you should've caled me before now."

"I was giving you your space."

Phone clamped to my ear, I was halfway to my bedroom

when his words brought me up short. He sounded sincere,

and it kiled me that without being able to read his face, I

couldn't tel if he was putting me on. "How very Lifetime

Channel of you."

"What are you wearing?"

"How very Playboy Channel," I said, and my breath

hitched.

By the time I reached my bed I was already unbuttoning

my jeans. When I lay back I cradled the phone against my

shoulder to slide the denim over my hips. My panties came

down, too, and I kicked them off. The comforter was

chily under my skin at first, but warmed quickly. I roled,

reaching for my nightstand drawer, and stopped with my

hand on the knob.

"Are you naked? Tel me you're naked."

I found the smal bottle of lube and my bulet vibrator, not

the one that could land aircraft. I sat on the edge of the

bed to pul them from the drawer, and I stared down at the

evidence of what I meant to do in my palm before I

evidence of what I meant to do in my palm before I

answered. "I'm not naked."

"Liar." Austin's low laugh perked my nipples and parted

my legs.

"I have a shirt on."

"I'm hard, Paige. And I'm naked."

I closed my eyes to see him better. "What makes you think

I care?"

This stumped him for a second. In the past I'd been al

about the phone sex. Sometimes we'd fucked more often

on the phone than with our bodies. Before he could

answer, I said, "Are you jerking your cock, Austin?"

"Y-yeah."

"Wel. I want you to stop."

"Aw, Paige—"

"You can't just cal me up and expect me to run right over

and screw you, Austin. And you can't expect me to fuck

you over the phone, either," I said, though I was thinking

about doing just that. "We're not together anymore.

Remember?"

"That never mattered before." He sounded sulen, and I

pictured his frown.

I loved it.

"It matters now." He had to hear my voice dip low and

breathy, and he knew me wel enough to know what that

meant. I just had to wait and see if he'd figure it out.

"Fine. I'm sitting here with my dick ready to go and I'm not

touching it. Is that what you want to hear?"

I lay back again and twisted the end of the vibe to get it

buzzing. Then I brought it to the phone and let him hear it.

I took it away after a second.

"Shit. Is that your vibrator?"

"It is."

"Let me come over, baby. I can make you feel better than

a vibrator."

"I'm hanging up on you now. And then I'm going to use this

"I'm hanging up on you now. And then I'm going to use this

vibrator until I come. But you're not."

"Wel…fuck," he said miserably.

"No." I laughed.

"What the hel am I supposed to do?"

I let the vibe tickle-tickle between my legs, then puled it

away to stroke with a finger, which I preferred over the

mechanical. "You're going to take a cold shower and go to

bed."

"What if I don't? What if just finish myself off right now?"

A low, slow groan seeped from my lips. "You'l do what I

just told you to do, and maybe, just maybe, the next time

you cal me I'l let you come over and eat my pussy until I

scream."

Dead silence greeted this. My eyes, which had been

languorously closed, flew open. Too far?

"Uh…" Austin coughed. "Fucking hel, Paige!"

Apparently not.

Apparently not.

"Good night, Austin," I said sweetly. "I'm going to get back to getting myself off now. Have a nice shower."

"Paige, don't hang up!"

But I did, because I could. Because there was power in

that, too. And then I lay back and looked at the ceiling, my

vibe stil abuzz in my fingers, and thought of Austin. And

Eric. And then some nameless, faceless stranger who

would do everything I wanted him to do without talking it

to death first or ruining it after with words.

My hands became his hands, running over my shirt and

under to cup my breasts through the bra. Then under that

to stroke and tweak my nipples. The vibe buzzed lower as

I adjusted the setting and slid it between my legs, where I

kept it clamped close to me by closing my thighs. I only

wanted a tickle there, not a ful-on buzz.

I'd used this vibe at the command of a note. I'd set it at the

low speed and rubbed it on my clit and down over my lips.

I'd rubbed it on my nipples, too. I'd brought myself close

and eased off, then close again, but obeying the note, I

hadn't made myself come.

hadn't made myself come.

What had Eric done?

Had he spread his legs in the shower, leaning forward with

a hand against the wal while the other pumped his prick

slowly? Did he bend his head beneath the spray, eyes

closed, picturing some nameless, faceless woman on her

knees sucking his cock? Or maybe she had a name. Had a

face. Maybe he had someone who made him crazy the

way Austin made me.

Or maybe he'd lain back on his bed the way I was, his

hips thrusting upward into the cunt made of his curled fist.