card and stared at it, but I couldn't decipher its meaning.
Unless it had none. Maybe it was some sort of crazy new
diet or self-help plan. I'd heard of a new plan that hooked
members up with mentors. Sort of like a 12-step program
for food addicts, it was supposed to help to have a buddy.
It was the only scenario I came up with, but it didn't feel
right.
I lifted the card again, looking closer for clues. I caressed
the paper. It had the same rough edge, like someone had
the paper. It had the same rough edge, like someone had
cut one large sheet of paper into smaler sizes. No
signature, and delivered twice in a row to the wrong
person. Some buddy.
I kept the card safely in my hand. My fingers curved
around it and my thumb caressed the thick paper. I looked
at it again, the single sentence.
Discipline?
I stil didn't get it. I tucked the card back into its envelope,
restraining myself from sniffing the ink. I wasn't the only
person standing at the mailboxes, and I didn't want to
attract that sort of attention. I found the mailbox for 114
and studied it, too. The brass numbers were stylishly
weathered but not worn. There wasn't realy any mistaking
a one for a four or vice versa, even if the number on the
card itself were smudged.
"Excuse me." The woman next to me gave me a smile
meant to look apologetic but only looked annoyed. "I need
to get to my box."
"Oh. Sorry." I folded closed the note and tucked it quickly into the slot for 114, wondering if by some luck it
into the slot for 114, wondering if by some luck it
belonged to her.
She used her key to open a different box, though, and
puled out a thick sheaf of mail. Then she bent and looked
through the hole to the office behind it, but the mail carrier
had already moved down the row to the end. She
straightened as she closed and locked her box, then riffled
through her mail with a disgusted sniff.
"Nothing ever comes when it's supposed to." She didn't
say it to me, but I nodded anyway.
"I wish my bils wouldn't come."
She turned and gave me an up-and-down look as her
mouth twitched into a grimace masquerading as another
smile. Her gaze took in my coat, the same cut and color as
hers but not as nice, my legs, clad in nude hose, and finaly
settled on my shoes. They were the only part of me that
seemed worth her approval, but she raised a brow anyway
and just tossed off a fake little laugh as she stuffed her mail
into her Kate Spade bag and turned on her matching
pumps.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Oh, I knew what discipline meant to me, al right.
Discipline was what kept me from popping her in the back
of the head with the heel of my barely-passing-inspection
shoes. It's what kept my chin high and my mouth fixed in a
pleasant smile instead of turning down at the corners so the
tears would stay burning behind my eyes instead of
slipping out.
Discipline, or maybe it was pride. Or stubbornness.
Whatever it was, I had enough to spare.
I waited until she'd gone before I crossed the lobby and
pushed through the revolving door. Outside, gray and
overcast skies echoed my mood, and the breeze brought
the scent of cigarettes to me. I looked automaticaly,
wondering if I'd see someone pondering discipline.
"Ari," I said, surprised. "Hi."
Miriam's grandson tossed his butt into the sand-filed can
and shrugged his coat higher around his neck. "Hey,
Paige."
"I didn't know you lived here."
He grinned. "I don't. Just dropped off something for my
grandma, you know?"
I didn't know, but I nodded. "Tel her I said helo."
"Stop by the shop and tel her yourself," he suggested with a sweetly dipping smile.
It was nice to be flirted with, albeit without much heat. "I'l
do that. Have a good day."
"You, too."
I looked back as I crossed the aley to the parking garage,
and Ari was stil looking. Maybe there was a little heat,
after al. And what woman didn't like to be appreciated? I
had a much bigger smile on my face than I had before, and
it lasted me al the way to work.
I wasn't even close to being late, but I might as wel have
been because by the time I got to my desk, my boss had
already piled a stack of files on it. It could have been
worse. He could have been standing over my desk with
the empty coffeepot in his hand. He did that, sometimes,
though I knew he was as capable of making coffee as I
am. More, maybe, since he inhaled the high-octane stuff
am. More, maybe, since he inhaled the high-octane stuff
like it was air and I limited myself to a mug once or twice a
day.
Spying the empty Starbucks cup in the trash, I knew he'd
already had his first dose of the day. I was safe a little bit
longer. I could get the files ordered and put away without
him breathing down my neck. I decided to put the coffee
on anyway, though, just in case. There were many days I
could predict my boss's every move, from the midmorning
break when the bagel man came around, to his post-lunch
trip to the bathroom.
Today wasn't one of those days.
"Paige. Listen. I need you to get those files taken care of,
okay?"
I turned from the smal bar sink, where I'd been filing the
coffeepot with water. "Right, Paul. Of course."
Amazing how someone with only a community-colege
education could stil deduce simple things.
"Good." Paul nodded and smoothed his tie between his
thumb and forefinger while he watched me fiddle with the
thumb and forefinger while he watched me fiddle with the
coffeemaker.
I hadn't yet figured out if Paul hovered because he
expected me to screw up, or if he hoped I would. Either
way, it didn't bother me the way it would have some of the
other personal assistants on the floor. Brenda, for
example, liked to brag how her boss, Rhonda, spent most
of her time traveling and she barely had to deal with her.
She also liked to brag that she'd worked for Kely Printing
longer than that Jenny-come-lately Rhonda anyways, and
knew what she was doing, so why should she have to run
everything by someone else when she could get her work
done faster and better without interference?
I never told Brenda I found Paul's constant supervision
more comforting than annoying. After al, if he never
alowed me the autonomy to make decisions, I couldn't
exactly be held accountable for anything that went wrong.
Right? Even when Paul did his share of traveling, he never
left without making me a sheaf of notes and lists…lists.
I thought of the cards I'd found. Two, now. Two
misdelivered notes with explicit, mysterious (to me)
instructions. I could stil feel the sleek paper under my
fingertips. I regretted not taking the time to smel the ink.
fingertips. I regretted not taking the time to smel the ink.
With the coffee set to brewing, I turned to face Paul.
"Anything else?"
"Not right now, thanks." Paul smiled and disappeared
back into his inner sanctum, leaving me with the cheery
burble of the coffeepot and a bunch of files to herd.
This is what I knew about Paul Johnson, my boss. He had
a chubby, pretty wife named Melissa who sometimes
forgot to pick up his dry cleaning on time and two
teenagers too busy with wholesome activities like sports
and youth group to get into trouble. I knew that because
I'd seen their photos and overheard his telephone
conversations. He had an older brother, the unfortunately
named Peter Johnson, with whom he played golf several
times a year but not often enough to be good. I knew that
because he'd asked me to make a reservation for him at
one of the local golf courses and to cal his brother to
confirm the date. The request was slightly out of the realm
of my professional duties, but I'd done it anyway. I also
knew Paul was forty-seven years old, had earned his
MBA from Wharton, attended church on Sundays with his
family and drove a black, but not brand-new, Mercedes
Benz.
Benz.
Those were things I knew.
This is what I thought about Paul Johnson, my boss. He
wasn't a tyrant. Just precise. He held himself to the same
level of perfection he expected from an assistant, and I
appreciated that. He could be funny, though not often, and
usualy unexpectedly. He gave every project his ful
attention and effort because it pained him to do anything
less. I understood and appreciated that, too.
I'd worked for him for almost six months. He'd told me to
cal him Paul, not Mr. Johnson, but we weren't anything
like friends. That was okay with me. I didn't want my boss
to be my chum.
Though sometimes it felt as if al I did was make coffee
and file, my job did actualy have more responsibility. I had
documents to proof and send, invoices to fil out and
appointments to book. I did al this to leave Paul free to do
whatever it was that he did al day long in his lush, swanky
office. If hard pressed, I wouldn't have been able to tel
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