“You did this, obviously,” Tyler said. “Riley would never hang the word YUM anywhere except maybe off his dick.”

Rolling my eyes, I climbed out of bed. “Yes, the ideas were mine. Riley was the labor.”

Tyler coughed and lowered his voice. “So, uh, why are you sleeping in here? Your stuff is in the other room. Did you and Riley . . .” He made a gesture that was supposed to indicate sex, obviously, but it looked more like he was changing a tire.

“No. We didn’t.” I mimicked the gesture so he’d see how stupid it looked. “But we’re doing something. Just not that. Yet. And FYI, I had to tell him that we have, and he was none too happy about it. He didn’t know and I wasn’t going to hide it from him.”

Tyler winced. “Awkward.”

“Big time,” I agreed.

“So, you like him or whatever?” he asked, clearly curious. “He likes you?”

“I guess. You’d have to ask him. But yes, I do.” I felt more than a little defensive. “Is that okay?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, sure. Whatever makes you both happy. I just didn’t think that you two were going in that direction.”

“Me either,” I answered truthfully.

“Don’t break his heart, Jessica, that’s all I’m asking.”

I glared at him. “Shouldn’t you be worried about my heart being broken? I’m the girl here.”

“Yeah, but you’re not exactly sensitive. Riley doesn’t really get out much, you know. He’s not one to get involved with someone lightly.” Tyler scratched his tattoo, the one that read TRUE FAMILY, just like Riley’s. I wondered if he even realized he was doing it, a subconscious gesture as he worried that I might gut his brother emotionally.

“I think you’re giving me more power than I have.” Truly. “And why does everyone think I’m so hard-core? I have feelings, too.” I did. Buried deep down underneath a layer of self-tanner.

“You can handle yourself.”

“Thanks.” Not. “Now are you going to move out of the way, or am I trapped in here all day?”

“See? You’re not afraid to say what you think.”

I was so not flattered. “I’m not afraid to punch either.”

Tyler put his hands up in front of his face, boxer style, and bounced on his feet, grinning. “Give me what you got, Jess.”

“Weirdo. Now I need coffee before I kill someone.”

Jayden and Easton were in the kitchen, Jayden’s hand in the cookie jar. “Did you see this, Jessica?” he asked me. “Cookies!”

At least he remembered me. His amazement made me smile. “I know, cool, huh? I told Riley that when it’s empty, you should very nicely ask Rory to make some more.”

“Except Rory won’t be back until next month and there is no way these will last that long,” Jayden said earnestly.

Tyler laughed. “Those won’t last until tomorrow. Slow down, U.”

I still didn’t understand why sometimes Riley and Tyler called Jayden U, but I had given up trying to figure it out. “So you guys like the house? I’m glad. And I told Riley no smoking in the house anymore.” I directed this at Tyler. “The ashtrays are out on the picnic table.”

“What, you paint the kitchen and suddenly you’re the boss?” he asked.

“The social worker is coming tomorrow,” I told him, trying to sound casual. “Probably a good time to start keeping the secondhand smoke outside.”

He made a face. “Shit. Okay. You’re right. It seemed pointless to smoke outside before because my mom always smoked in the house. It just became a habit.”

“Well, with the carpet gone, the smell is almost gone, too, so this is a fresh start, as cliché as that is.”

“How come Riley didn’t tell me?” Tyler asked in a low voice, coming up close to me to ask as I pulled out a coffee filter.

We were both very much aware of Easton fingering the candy wrappers on the YUM art just a few feet away.

“I don’t know. He probably didn’t want to ruin your vacay.”

“Yeah, but I need to make it look like I don’t live here. You know, again, the whole convicted felon thing.” Tyler leaned on the fridge, his arms crossed, looking worried.

I hadn’t even thought of that. “Okay. We’ll just move all your clothes and stuff to Riley’s room and they’ll assume it’s his. We’ll make your room look empty. But don’t you have to give an address for your parole officer and stuff like that?” Though truthfully, I had no clue what I was talking about. That was just an assumption I was making based off TV.

“I gave them Nathan’s address. If they show up there, Nathan just says I’m at work and then texts me, though it’s only happened once.”

“That sounds illegal.”

“I’d rather violate my parole than have them deny custody to Riley.” He nodded his head in Easton’s direction. “He won’t do well in foster care.”

No, I didn’t imagine he would. I didn’t imagine any kid would, but Easton was quiet, thin. He would be an easy target without his brothers there to protect him. “Alright, let me drink this coffee and then I’ll help you move your stuff.” I dumped grounds in without measuring them in any way.

“Really?” Tyler sounded surprised.

“Sure. Rory is stuck out at her dad’s working her summer job, and I’m here. I can help.”

He was looking at me like I’d just parted the Nile.

“What?” I growled.

“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Nada.”

“Then stop looking at me like that.” I poured some water haphazardly into the coffeemaker. Truthfully, I had been surprised the Manns had a coffeemaker. But apparently it had been handy for hiding drugs, so their mother had bought it at a garage sale, according to Riley. I hoped there weren’t any lingering drug bits in there, though I was too naive to really know what she had been hiding and/or doing. Sure, I’d popped a Vicodin here and there and had smoked a blunt or two, but it wasn’t like I really had any clue about having a real drug habit other than what I had seen on intervention shows.

Ever since the funeral though, I had decided that getting an occasional itchy high from a pill or two wasn’t worth the risk of addiction. Who was to say when it might go too far, and I didn’t want to do that to myself or to my family. So not worth it.

“By the way, the pictures in the hall?” Tyler smiled at me. “Nice touch, Jess. It means a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” I said, feeling uncomfortable with his praise. I was used to compliments on my appearance, not on my actions.

He studied me as I reached for a mug, looking like he wanted to say more.

“Yes?” I snapped.

Tyler laughed. “God, you’re as big of an asshole as Riley.”

Now that I was more comfortable with. “Watch what you say or I’ll freeze your underwear when we’re cleaning out your room. One of the many skills I learned at Bible camp.”

“How do you freeze underwear?” Jayden wanted to know.

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Oh, great, Jess, thanks, way to give him an idea.”

I grinned. “You dunk them in water and put them in the freezer, Jayden.”

Jayden cackled at the thought. “Watch out, Tyler, or I’ll freeze your underwear, too.”

“If anyone freezes my underwear I’ll beat the shit out of you.” Though Tyler looked more amused than pissed.

Jayden’s response was to flip his brother off. I figured that was as good of a comeback as any, so I followed suit. Jayden and I met eyes and laughed.

“I like you,” he told me, expression honest and guileless.

I can’t even begin to say how much that wiggled inside my heart and pleased me. I’d never thought of myself as particularly sentimental, but Jayden’s open approval made me feel awesome. Normally I avoided hugs and casual contact at all costs, but I found myself reaching out and actually initiating a hug with Jayden, pulling him close. “I like you, too.”

It was a toss-up who was the most surprised—me, Jayden, or Tyler.

Easton wasn’t paying attention. He was resting his head on the table and tracing his finger over the cookie jar, speaking quietly to the Mystery Machine.

And maybe for the first time in my whole life I felt protective.

So I turned and poured myself a huge mug of coffee.

* * *

That night I sat in my sublet apartment and tried to concentrate on the TV. When I had seen the apartment, I had liked that two girls lived there and were clean, their furniture pretty and shabby chic, the dishes in the kitchen matching. But now with my suitcases tucked away in the one free bedroom, it felt frilly and too perfect, and empty.

Lonely.

The girl, Maggie, who lived in the other bedroom, was already in bed. It was midnight, and I was still keyed up from work, and worried about the social worker’s visit the next day. But I knew I couldn’t text Riley because he would be asleep. So I had nothing to do but sit there wide awake and stress out.

My phone buzzed with a text message. Riley.

U awake?

Yes. U ok?

No. Can’t sleep.

It’s going to b ok, promise.

Wish u were here Pita.

That made me inhale sharply, a giddy thrill. It was a new feeling. Usually if a guy said that, I laughed or rolled my eyes, knowing he was just talking about sex.

But this had nothing to do with sex.

Me too.

Then I shocked myself by adding, Pick me up?

Just three little words that hung out there, making me feel as stripped down and vulnerable as I ever had. How selfish and stupid and pathetic was that request?

He had a social worker coming the next day. He didn’t need to be dealing with me. And why would he want to get out of bed, drive over to my place, and bring me back just to lay in bed together? I knew he wouldn’t want to have sex. It so wasn’t the right time for that, especially for our first time together.