"So what about poor Nathan? Are you going to give the guy a break? He's making himself crazy over you."

"I haven't decided his fate yet," Julie said thoughtfully. "I don't want to let him off lightly. I may not be pissed, but he went to some serious lengths to pull this over on me."

"I don't like that look," Serena said slowly. "You're usually plotting evil when you get that look."

Julie gave her best innocent smile. "Who, me?"

"Sooo, tell me the answer to the million-dollar question."

Julie arched a brow. "Which one is that?"

"How are Faiths leftovers in bed?"

Julie's mouth dropped open. "You bitch. You had to go there, didn't you?"

Serena snickered, her eyes bubbling with mischief. "You're the one who said you'd never sleep with a friend s leftovers."

"In answer to your question, he was damn good. Not as good as Nathan, but still good. At least Faith has never slept with Nathan!"

"Now that you have a threesome out of your system, how was it? All you thought it would be?"

"Who the hell says it's out of my system?"

Serena snorted. "Knowing you, it's not."

"It was . . . exciting. Decadent. Had that edgy, forbidden feel to it."

"But?"

"No but."

"I could swear I heard a 'but' in there."

Julie smiled gently. How could she tell Serena the 'but' was seeing her and Damon? That before she witnessed the absolute beauty of their love she would have said the nights with Nathan and Micah had been the best of her life?

"Maybe I just want more these days than some hot, sweaty sex and mindless bumping and grinding."

Serena looked at her, mouth open. "But that's precisely what you said you wanted. No messy emotion. No expectations."

"I know. Stupid of me, isn't it?"

"It's not stupid, Julie. It just seemed to have come from left field."

"Put it this way. I saw something pretty damn special, and it made me realize what I was missing. Now, I haven't decided if I want it yet. I'm holding out hope that if I give myself enough time to come to my senses that I'll smack myself on the head and stay the course."

"I wish Faith was here. She'd help me pry information out of those clamlike lips of yours."

Julie smiled. "It was sweet of you to come over this morning. I'm sorry I worried you, but you know I'm glad to see you."

"You had Damon worried too. He struggled over the ethics of allowing Nathan to participate in your fantasy. Micah might be his friend, but he's very protective of the women who come to The House."

"Damon is a great guy," Julie said casually. "When are you going to put him out of his misery?"

A peculiar look crossed Serena's face.

"What?" Julie asked, latching onto that look. "What was that look? You aren't taking a page out of Faith's book and dumping the man, are you? Don't make me hurt you."

Serena flopped back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. "If I tell you this you're going to think I'm the biggest moron on the face of the planet."

"I'm afraid that particular title is mine," Julie said. "So spill."

Serena sighed. "I've been so preoccupied with worrying over whether this whole thing with Damon would last. What if I wouldn't want the type of relationship he wants long term? What if we got to that point and he couldn't accept that I no longer wanted it? What if, what if, what if until I've driven myself crazy with all the what-ifs."

"Recognizing your illness is the first step in your recovery," Julie said sagely.

Serena laughed. "Oh stop, Julie. I'm being serious here."

"Continue on," Julie said with a wave of her hand.

"When he asked me to marry him, all I could think was that in his position of power, how could he ever know why I accepted? Every time he's asked me, the power is weighted toward him. I don't know but it made me uncomfortable. I want... I want our marriage to start out on equal terms even if during the course of it I cede control and power to him."

"You want it to be your choice."

"Exactly! I don't want him to ever look back and doubt that I came to him freely, doubt that I gave myself entirely to him because it was what I wanted. I don't want him to think I was under some spell and would have agreed blindly if he asked me to jump off a bridge."

Julie snickered.

"Oh shut up," Serena grumbled. "I know it sounds ridiculous. Maybe some of what inspired Faith's ninniness rubbed off on me."

"There does seem to be a lot of that going around," Julie said wryly. "I wasn't immune to it, unfortunately."

Serena gave her a quick hug. "Well, we can all be stupid twit females together."

"You'll only be a stupid twit if you keep refusing Damon's proposals."

Serena pulled away and smiled one of her sexy, secretive smiles that probably drove men insane with lust. "Actually, I plan to ask him to marry me. Today. I figure he can't ever think that he coerced me if I do the asking."

"Oooh, sneaky, devious. I love it! I'd pay real money to be a fly on the wall when you ask him."

"Yeah, I'm pretty fond of the idea myself."

"So? What are you doing over here? Get your ass back to your man and propose."

Serena smiled and squeezed Julie's hands again. "Because you're my friend and seeing you was more important this morning. I had to make sure you were okay."

"Well, thanks. I'm fine. Really. Nothing a day of pampering myself won't fix."

"Want to do lunch this week when Faith gets back?"

"The hell with lunch. When she gets back we need to have a girls' night out. Lots to celebrate. Her marriage, your engagement."

"Okay, done. Faith is supposed to roll in Tuesday morning. Or at least that's when Damon's jet is supposed to land. Knowing those two, it's entirely possible they'd miss their own flight."

"Go, go," Julie said, making shooing motions with her hands. "Go propose to that man of yours. I'm so excited I can't stand it. Call me tomorrow and let me know how it went."

Serena smiled so big Julie thought her mouth might crack. Now she knew what pure, unadulterated joy looked like.

"I will. Catch you later."

Serena got up and with a small wave disappeared down the hallway to the front door. Julie watched her go with a peculiar twist in her chest. There went one happy woman.

Chapter 22

Serena smiled at Sam when he opened the back door for her. She leaned up and kissed the startled man on the cheek and all but flew to the front door.

She burst into the living room expecting to find Damon sitting in front of the fire with his book and a glass of wine, but to her disappointment the room was empty. She quickly weighed her options. He could be in his office, but if that was the case she didn't want to interrupt work with what she hoped to be a special moment. Or he could be up in the bedroom, which offered a whole host of possibilities.

She turned eagerly, only to see Sam walk into the living room.

"Miss James, you left the car so quickly I didn't have time to inform you that Mr. Roche is on the terrace. He wished you to join him when you returned."

"Thank you, Sam," she said as she whirled and hurried toward the glass doors.

Her heart was beating like a freight train. She was breathless, scared, but happy. So very happy.

She came to a halt on the stone patio when she saw Damon sitting at the circular glass table several feet away. In her haste, she'd forgotten to shed her shoes, and she kicked them off now, enjoying the warm concrete under her feet.

He was staring into the gardens, a glass of wine held idly in his hand. He looked contented, a man sure of his place in the world. And now, finally, she knew her place in the world. His world. It didn't matter where, as long as he was in it.

A ridiculous knot of nervous energy rolled in her stomach, squeezing until her breaths came out in little painful squeaks. Then he looked up and saw her.

She swallowed the huge lump in her throat when she saw his eyes soften with love. He had the most delicious brown eyes and they went positively liquid when he looked at her. She wanted to lock this moment away in time. If only she could stand here watching him look at her that way for the rest of her life, she would be happy.

"Serena mine," he murmured, holding his hand out to her.

She rushed forward, taking his hand and dropping to her knees beside his chair. She rubbed her face over his leg, closing her eyes as his fingers tangled in her hair.

"No, love, you're going to hurt your knees. The stone is too hard and rough for you out here."

She shook her head. Knees? What knees? All she could feel was his love, wrapping securely around her, holding her when she couldn't hold herself.

"Come here," he said quietly, pulling her into his lap.

When she was settled against his chest, he stroked her long hair from her face with gentle fingers.

"What's wrong, Serena?"

She expelled her breath in a quivering rush and smiled. "I love you. Do you know that, Damon? Do you know how much?"

He looked stunned by her announcement. His pupils flared, and his fingers stilled in her hair.

"I know. I hope I know." He pressed his lips to her forehead, and she could feel him trembling against her. "I love you too, Serena mine. So damn much, I ache."

She pulled away and caught his hand, pulling it from her hair to cradle it between her palms. For a moment she studied their entwined hands thinking of all the times she was bound to him, for him, only this time it was her doing the binding. She was in control.