Ugh. This was getting way more complicated than she wanted.

She reached up to touch him, needing that brief moment of contact before she went on. "I love our relationship, Gray. I haven't regretted ceding the power, the decision making, putting myself into your hands completely and wholly. I wanted to be taken care of, and until recently thought you did such a wonderful job of making me feel, well, taken care of."

When he opened his mouth, she placed a finger over his lips.

"I was an idiot, Gray. I swear I'm not usually so irrational. I just got scared. I'm not even sure what the hell happened. You've been wonderful, and I feel so unappreciative. I acted like a child sulking because she wasn't the center of attention. If I could take it all back I would. I just snapped."

"Snapped?"

He looked so perplexed she almost laughed.

"Yeah, uh I sort of had seduction in mind last night and when you didn't show up yet again after work, I got pissed, then I got overly emotional, and then I convinced myself in a fit of self-pity that you weren't attracted to me any longer and were avoiding me like the plague."

His mouth dropped open, and his eyes gleamed with silent laughter.

"Don't you dare laugh," she muttered. "It all sounds perfectly ridiculous now, but at the time I was convinced I was about to be single again."

At that his amusement vanished. He touched the tip of his finger to her chin, his eyes boring holes through her.

"You aren't the only one who screwed up, Faith. Yeah, my intentions were good, but how were you supposed to know that? I shouldn't have tried to keep the house a secret, and I damn sure shouldn't have spent so many nights over there with no explanation. In hindsight I'm lucky you didn't think I was cheating on you. All I can say is that it ain't ever going to happen. You're it for me, baby. And I sure hope to hell I'm it for you."

She sighed and nuzzled her cheek against his hand. "You are it for me, Gray. I guess we can be stupid screwups together."

He found her lips, kissing lightly, then deeper. "I love you."

She smiled against his mouth. "I love you too. Forgive me?"

"Of course. Now, we need to talk about this other matter between us."

He raised the paper bag between them so that they both stared at it. You'd think a snake was hiding in it with the way they eyed it so cautiously.

"If... if you're pregnant, we can do this," he said. "No, it's not how we planned it, but it won't be the end of the world. We'll adjust, and we'll be damn good parents."

Her lips trembled and she stared into his eyes, drowning all over again in love.

"I can't believe I almost did this without you."

"Don't make a habit of it," he growled affectionately.

"You going to watch me pee on the stick?"

"How 'bout I stand over here and study the ceiling while you do the deed. Then we'll embark on the longest five minutes of our lives."

She chuckled, and he lowered her down to the floor then moved away from the toilet. He leaned back against the counter while she tore away the packaging and concentrated on the instructions.

"Think we'll look back on this day and laugh ten years down the road?" Gray asked.

She pursed her lips as she turned the plastic tube the right way and then looked back up at him. "What if I am pregnant? I wouldn't want our child to ever know we sat here and prayed he or she didn't exist."

"First of all, who says we'll say anything? Second, I'm sure if you are pregnant, then we'll spend parts of the next eighteen years and beyond wishing he or she didn't exist."

She laughed, feeling some of the tension escape with each burst. "Okay, don't talk to me for a minute. I don't pee well under pressure."

He chuckled but fell silent as she wiggled and maneuvered until her underwear was where it was supposed to go and the plastic was where it was supposed to go.

"How do you keep from peeing on your hand?" Gray asked.

She froze and looked up to see a bemused expression on his face. Then she burst out laughing.

"Wouldn't it be easier to pee in something else first? That just seems to be an awfully small target," he said doubtfully.

Her shoulders shook so bad that she couldn't keep the test in place.

"Leave it to a man to make perfect sense of a female issue," she muttered. "But then a man probably invented the damn thing to begin with."

"Want a cup?" he asked with a grin.

"Please?"

Laughing he left the bathroom and a moment later returned with a foam cup.

"Not that this is likely to keep any more pee off my hand," she said as she eyed it.

Gray dutifully remained silent while she administered the test. When she was finished, she laid it gently on the counter and the two of them stared at it like it would go off after the allotted time.

She blew out her breath, puffing her cheeks as the air whooshed out. "Okay, so now we wait."

"Come here," he said, holding out his arms.

She slid easily into his embrace, pressing against his muscled chest. Her fingers idly brushed over where she knew the scar lay under his shirt. A reminder of how close she came to losing him. She closed her eyes, willing those memories away.

"You know we'll handle this, no matter what," he said.

She nodded. And she did know. It wasn't as if either of them had anything against children. She just wanted . . . time. Time with Gray. Time to enjoy it being just the two of them. Later when they were comfortable in their relationship, comfortable with each other and some of the new and shiny had worn off, then they could think about children.

"Here's what I suggest," he said as he pulled her away from his chest. "I think we should go out and celebrate. Dinner, some good conversation and then come home and make love until we pass out. The only unknown is what we'll be celebrating, right?"

She leaned forward and linked her arms around his neck. "That sounds absolutely wonderful. Especially the part about making love until we drop. I've missed you, Gray. As much as I love surprises, I don't like them at the expense of you being away so much."

He kissed her nose and then her cheeks and finally her lips. By the time he nuzzled a path down her neck, she'd forgotten what it was they'd been talking about.

"I have plans for you tonight," he murmured.

A delicious thrill ran up her spine and exploded at her nape. She loved it when he got all mysterious and brooding and sexy.

Then she frowned. If she was pregnant, they'd have to curb some of their sexual activities, wouldn't they? Not that Gray would ever hurt her, but the lash of a crop, a belt, sometimes a flogger ... A dreamy sigh escaped her lips as she imagined him stroking her skin, raising red-hot heat across her body.

No, she couldn't think that way. If she was pregnant, it would only be a temporary restraint on their part. But then she began to imagine sleepless nights, never being alone. No more kneeling in the living room as he fucked her mouth. No more lying over the arm of the couch while he fucked her long and hard.

With a groan, she buried her face in his neck, quivering with nervousness.

"Baby."

The single endearment stroked over her ears, soothing and quieting her worries. She was being selfish. Children meant change, and if she was pregnant, she certainly couldn't escape the inevitable.

She raised her head, disgusted by the sheen of tears hanging in her vision.

"I think it's been five minutes," he said softly.

She started to look over but he caught her chin, forcing her gaze back to him.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered. "Think we should look now?"

He reached over without looking and snagged the test. His hand covered the result window as he pulled it between them.

"You look," she said.

Slowly, he opened his hand, staring down at the test lying on his palm. When he frowned, her heart dropped.

"What does it say?"

"You're not pregnant," he said softly.

Her eyes widened. Simultaneously relief and, oddly enough, disappointment swamped her. Why was she disappointed?

"That's a good thing, right?" she asked cautiously, still unsure of his reaction. He didn't seem happy.

He stared back down at the test. "Yeah, it's a good thing. We're not ready. You're not ready, honey, and I don't want you to have a baby until we're both sure it's what we want."

"I hear a but in there," she said gently.

He pressed his lips together in a rueful expression. "Would you believe that just for a teeny, tiny moment I was imagining what our baby would look like? Whether it would be a girl who was as gorgeous as her mama, or a boy who was as ornery as his father?"

Her heart ached just a bit too so she knew exactly what he meant. For a little bit she'd actually allowed herself to indulge in the fantasy of what a child would mean. And even though she knew without a doubt they'd escaped a kink in their relationship they didn't need, a part of her was disappointed.

"What it means is that you and I will make wonderful parents when the time comes," she said with a smile.

He cupped her chin and kissed her again. "We'll make a great mom and dad. In five years or so."

She laughed. "Exactly! Now, you and I have a date to go celebrate not being pregnant."

"You know," he said thoughtfully. "I have an even better idea."

"Oh?"

"Let's get married. Tonight."

She gaped at him. "But we can't get married tonight!"