Maya Banks - Sweet Addiction

He wanted to hate the bastard. He really did. But damn it, he’d taken care of Ren when she needed it the most. How could he hold that against Lucas? If it weren’t for Lucas she might still be out in L.A. or Vegas or stuck in some horrible relationship with some bastard who didn’t treat her like the treasure she was.

The thought made him ill. The idea that he owed Lucas a hell of a lot of gratitude made him more ill at ease. He wasn’t even going to get into what he owed Lucas for these two weeks because he was going to be a complete bastard and fight for Ren with everything he had.

“The really bad thing was that before Grant and before that mess with Mom and Dad, I was perfectly comfortable in my skin. So it wasn’t like I didn’t know how to be okay with who I was or that I lacked self-confidence. I just lost it for a while and I had to find it again. In some ways I think I would have been more forgiving if I’d always been insecure and uncertain.”

The self-condemnation in her voice made him ache. “You’re being too hard on yourself, darling. You didn’t lose yourself for long and despite what you may tell yourself, there is no way you’ll ever make me believe that you wouldn’t have eventually gotten it all back without Lucas. I’m sure he helped and I’m glad he was there at a time you needed him. But I know you. You may have had a setback but no way would you have remained that shell of yourself for long.”

Her smile was more crooked this time. She perched her elbow on the table and cupped her chin in her palm as she stared over at him.

“You’re very good for my ego, Cole Madison.”

“And you’re just good for me, Ren Michaels.”

Her mischievous grin was back and her cheek dimpled as her smile broadened. Some of the fire was back in her eyes and they twinkled with silent laughter.

“Let’s go do something fun.”

“Like?”

Her grin deepened. “Oh, I don’t know. You’re pretty handy with rope.”

He threw back his head and laughed. “Let’s get out of here. I’m sure I’ll think of something we can do.”

She frowned as he rose from his chair. “What about the check?”

He held out his hand to help her up. “On my tab.”

She wiped her hands and then slipped her fingers around his, allowing him to pull her to her feet. He kept hold as they made their way to the front. At the door he stopped long enough to help her into her light jacket and then they stepped outside.

He started ahead of her when she suddenly pounced on him from behind. She scaled his back and wrapped her arms around his neck, giggling close to his ear.

In retaliation, he spun her around until she laughed and begged him to stop before she upchucked her lunch. He gripped her underneath her knees, hoisted her higher and took off toward the car.

She bounced and laughed the entire way and he grinned, letting her happiness wash over him like the sun. They probably looked like idiots, but he didn’t give a damn. He’d give just about anything to hear her laugh so freely.

They were nearly to his car when a silver Mercedes pulled into the parking spot in front of them. Cole halted in his tracks when Lucas stepped out of the car. His cool gaze slid over Cole and Ren and then he looked beyond them toward the restaurant entrance.

Ren went completely still. So silent he couldn’t even hear her breathe.

Without a word, Lucas walked past them. No acknowledgment. Not a single word of greeting. Ren’s intake of breath was sharp in Cole’s ear. Her distress radiated in waves and Cole bit back a string of curses before they could escape his lips.

For the space of a moment, Ren’s gaze locked with Lucas’s. She went still against Cole and her heart leapt into her throat. Then Lucas looked past her. No acknowledgment. She could have been a stranger on the street.

He walked by. She turned but he didn’t look back. Coldness crept through her body until she was numb with it. She let herself slide from Cole’s back and would have ended up on her knees on the hard, cracked pavement of the parking lot if Cole hadn’t caught her.

“Come, Ren,” Cole said, his voice quiet and soothing in her ear. But firm. She didn’t even think of disobeying as he gently helped her to her feet and guided her toward his car.

She looked back again, though she hated the weakness that made her do it. Lucas had disappeared into the restaurant. What was he doing here? They’d never come here together. She’d never been here even once until today when Cole had brought her for lunch.

How could he look through her like she was nothing?

She hastily wiped her burning eyes, determined that she wouldn’t let Cole see what her encounter—or non-encounter—with Lucas had done to her. Then she nearly laughed because there was no hiding her devastation.

“How could he?” she choked out as Cole closed his door, sealing them into the interior of his car. “Oh God, Cole, how could he just walk by me like that?”

Cole had no answer. He merely started the engine and backed out of his space before roaring out of the lot. The drive home was silent and tense. Cole stared straight ahead, his jaw tight. He looked …angry. At her?

Her reaction had not only been undisciplined and disloyal—to Cole—but it had also been a slap in his face. She couldn’t blame him if he wanted nothing more to do with her.

She turned to stare out the window as she felt the betraying slide of tears down her cheeks. Even as she wiped them with her palm, more dampness replaced what she took away.

She hated herself for caring. She had Cole. Cole who adored her. Cole who would do anything to make her happy. And yet she’d allowed Lucas to hurt her and in doing so, she’d betrayed her agreement with Cole.

Caught between two men. Belonging to both and yet to neither. It was the most horrible place she could ever imagine.

When they arrived back at Cole’s house, she opened her door as soon as the car stopped and fled toward the house. She couldn’t bear to face Cole. Couldn’t bear the disappointment in his eyes—or the anger.

At first she wasn’t sure where she should go. She had no real identity in this big house, as roomy and as comfortable as it was. It was Cole’s home. Not hers. But her belongings were in Cole’s bedroom. In his closet.

She hurried up the stairs and burst into his bedroom, her misery growing with each passing second. She was almost to the closet when she realized that nothing here was hers.

She backed to the bed and sank onto the edge. Her head went down and she closed her eyes. Cole had bought everything she wore. He’d refused the things that Lucas had purchased for her. Hadn’t wanted another man providing for her during his time of ownership.

All that was hers was her writing and art supplies.

She wrapped her arms around herself and hugged, trying to ward off the bone-deep chill. It shouldn’t matter. She kept telling herself it shouldn’t. But it did and no amount of lying to herself would change that fact.

She loved Lucas. She loved Cole.

She tensed when she heard Cole enter the room. She kept her eyes tightly shut and her head bowed because she couldn’t face his judgment.

Silence descended. So heavy and weighted that it felt oppressive. And then.

“Look at me, goddamn it.”

Her head snapped up and she met the full fury of his gaze. Oh God, she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t.

“Don’t you dare look away from me,” he said when she started to lower her head again.

His eyes blazed. A fiery blue that sent a shockwave through her numbness.

“I’ve been too soft. Lucas was right. That’s not what you need. No coddling. On your knees, Ren. Don’t make me tell you twice.”

She scrambled off the bed, bewildered and clumsy as she went to her knees on the carpet at the foot of his bed.

“Who owns you?” he snapped.

“You,” she uttered softly.

“I can’t hear you.”

“You,” she said louder.

“Who protects you?”

“You.”

“Who takes care of you?”

“You.”

“Who loves you, Ren?”

Her mouth opened but nothing came out. Her eyes swam with those damn tears again and a sob knotted in her throat.

“Look at me,” he barked.

Slowly she raised her tearful gaze back to him but what she saw shocked her. There was no anger. Not at her. His eyes burned bright with …love. And understanding.

His lips were drawn into a thin, determined line. It amazed her that he could be so furious and yet look at her with such tenderness.

“Did you honest to God think I’d be angry with you for being human?” he asked hoarsely. “That I’d punish you because that son of a bitch hurt you? Goddamn it, Ren. What must you think of me?”

She had no response. What could she say? Her hands shook. Her entire body trembled.

Slowly he went to his knees in front of her, until they were eye level. Then he simply opened his arms and she launched herself forward, wrapping herself around him as tightly as she could.

For several long minutes he stroked her hair and simply held her while she sobbed into his neck. She hated doing this. Hated that she was breaking apart in front of Cole. But she also realized there wasn’t another man—apart from Lucas—that she’d ever trusted enough to be this vulnerable in front of.

Exhausted by the spent energy and emotion, she lay limply against Cole until finally he pulled her gently away. He stroked his finger down one damp cheek. And then he asked her again in a low, husky voice.