Susan Mallery - Surrender in Silk

As she sat in the chair, she automatically slowed her breathing. Her mind was alert, listening to sounds. Her muscles tensed and released so they wouldn’t cramp. She could sit like this for hours if necessary.

She didn’t think it was going to take that long.

Forty minutes later, she heard an odd clicking in the hallway outside her apartment. Then a knock.

Her heart pounded like a jackhammer. Her palms grew damp and when she stood up, her legs trembled. She made her way to the door. Caution dictated that she look out the peephole, but she knew who was standing on the other side. She knew everything about him-how he looked, how he sounded, the taste of his skin, the sight of his pleasure. She even knew his deepest fears. What she didn’t know was why he’d come back to her.

She opened the door. No one was there. Jamie frowned, then a whimper caught her attention. She glanced down. A golden retriever pup stared up piteously. Big brown eyes met her own, and the fuzzy tail started to thump against the floor.

Jamie looked for someone, but the hallway was empty. She stared at the pup. The animal whimpered again.

“What’s the matter?” she asked softly, holding out her hand and letting the dog smell her fingers. She was rewarded with a wet kiss.

“Are you all alone?”

The puppy whined.

“Oh, you’re scared.” She crouched down and gathered the shivering dog in her arms. The puppy wiggled as if trying to get closer. It reached out and licked her chin. Jamie laughed.

“I knew you two would get along.”

She started at the sound of a voice. Her eyes closed briefly as she absorbed the sound of him. A deep breath brought her his scent. He was still the best; she hadn’t heard him approach.

She rose slowly to her feet. Zach stood in front of her in the hallway. He wore jeans and a dark blue T-shirt that emphasized his strength. Hunger filled her. Hunger fueled by love long repressed. She wanted to throw herself at him, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t do anything but stand there and feel the pleasure of looking at him again.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi, yourself.”

There was an awkward pause as she absorbed the thrilling sight of him. He gave her a quick smile. “You cut your hair. You look great.”

She clutched the puppy closer, grateful she had something to keep her hands busy. She didn’t want Zach to know she was shaking. “Thanks.”

He swallowed. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

In her heart she knew. Maybe she’d always known; maybe it was a miracle. But she needed him to say the words. Her battered heart and soul needed the soothing balm of his confession. “Why don’t you tell me why.”

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, as if he, too, were nervous. She nuzzled the puppy’s soft fur. The animal had relaxed in her arms and was dozing off.

“What was that question you asked, the one about turning back time?”

She remembered the question. She remembered everything about being with him. Her heart tightened as she dared to hope. Surely he wouldn’t have come all this way just to tell her he still wasn’t interested.

They were standing half in, half out of her apartment, but she didn’t dare interrupt him to invite him in. She wanted to hear what he had to say first.

“If you could turn back time,” she said. “If you could go back seven years, what would you do differently?”

His dark eyes brightened with a fire she’d never seen before. “I finally have an answer.”

“Tell me,” she whispered.

“I’d say I don’t know how to be all those things you need me to be, but that I’m willing to learn. I’d say that I’ve never loved anyone before, and it terrifies me. But it’s easier to be scared with you than without you. I’d take you in my arms and never let you go. I’d promise to love you for as long as I have breath, to the best of my ability. I’d promise to love you more and better each day. I can’t live without you, Jamie. You’re my whole world. I’m not the best guy around. You can do a lot better. I may never be normal, but no one can love you more than I do.”

She threw herself at him. The puppy was in the way, and she couldn’t wrap her arms around him, but it didn’t matter. He caught her hard against him and pulled her close. The sleeping dog barely stirred.

“I love you,” she said.

Then he kissed her, and she couldn’t talk at all. Not that it mattered. The sensation of his mouth on hers was more perfect than any words.

His hands roamed her back. She leaned against him, not wanting the moment to end, not caring that she felt tears on her cheeks. It felt so right to be with him.

“Are you sure?” she asked between kisses.

“More sure than I’ve ever been. Are you sure? I’m bound to screw this up at first.”

She smiled. “I don’t mind.”

Zach motioned to the puppy in her arms. “I bought a dog.”

“He’s pretty cute.”

“He’s a she. I’ve had her a couple of days. She doesn’t have a name yet. I thought you could think of a good one.” Zach shrugged. “I figured even if you didn’t want to talk to me, you wouldn’t turn away an innocent puppy.”

She looked at him and smiled. “Stacking the deck in your favor?”

He didn’t return her smile. Instead, his expression became very serious. He brushed the tears from her face. “I would have done anything to win you back, Jamie. Anything.”

“I’m glad.”

The puppy stirred sleepily. He stroked her head. “I’m a lousy single parent,” he said. “We need help, Jamie. We need you.”

She leaned against him. “You’ve got me, Zach. For always. I still love you. Nothing can change that.” She handed him the sleeping pup, then pushed open the door and invited him inside. “I’m impressed by your commitment,” she continued. “I only had the courage to buy a houseplant.”

He wrapped his arm around her. “I thought we could practice on the puppy, then when we’ve got this family thing figured out, we could try the real thing. That is, if you want to.”

“Kids?” she asked.

He nodded.

She felt more tears against her cheeks. Zach understood everything. “I’d like that,” she said, her voice husky.

He set the puppy on the sofa. “I think she’s going to sleep for a while,” he said.

Jamie smiled. “Really. What did you want to do while she was resting?”

He cupped her face and kissed her gently. “Live a miracle.”

Jamie paused at the front door to Jones & Jones Security. She glanced at her watch, shook her head, then stepped into the reception area. Running late, as usual.

“You’ve got forty billion messages,” Amanda, the receptionist, said as Jamie walked by.

“They’ll have to wait.” Jamie started down the hall.

“Great suit,” Amanda called after her. “Stop dressing so nice. You’re making the rest of us look bad.”

Jamie grinned but didn’t stop moving. When she reached the door with a placard that said Zach Jones, Co-president she turned the knob and stepped inside.

Zach sat with his back to the door, facing his computer. The bursts of sound coming from the machine told her he wasn’t working on a spread sheet. A large explosion was followed by an excited squeal.

“I’m back,” she said, and moved toward the desk. She put her briefcase on the floor and unbuttoned her jacket. “I thought you were going to take the games off your computer.”

Zach spun toward her and grinned. “They’re not for me.”

“You’re hopeless,” Jamie said, then lowered her gaze to the toddler sitting confidently on Zach’s lap. “Has Daddy been letting you play computer games again?”

Three-year-old Alice nodded. “I’m winning, Mommy. We’re gonna save the universal.”

“I’m sure the ‘universal’ is very happy about that, too.” She shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it on the desk.

Zach picked up Alice with the familiarity of a father who fully participates in his child’s upbringing. He settled his daughter on his shoulders, then came around the desk and kissed Jamie.

“You look tired.”

“I’m exhausted.”

He held on to Alice’s pudgy legs with one hand. With the other, he stroked her cheek. “But you knocked ’em dead, didn’t you?”

She smiled. “The meeting went very well.”

“I know.” He grabbed a paper from his desk. “They’ve already faxed over the signed agreement. We got the new account.”

“Kiss Mommy again,” Alice instructed.

Zach leaned close and brushed Jamie’s lips with his. “The things I do for my daughter,” he said.

“Hazardous duty,” Jamie murmured. “Maybe we should see about getting you a raise.” She reached up and took her daughter. Alice snuggled close.

“We missed you, Mommy,” the little girl said.

“I missed you guys, too.”

Theirs was a partnership that worked. Jamie sold the security systems that Zach designed. Their years at the agency had paid off, and they were one of the fastest-growing companies in the country. The signed contract was from a California bank with over two hundred branches. Nearly six months of negotiations had paid off.

“We need to celebrate,” Zach said, collecting Alice and wrapping his free arm around Jamie’s shoulders. “What do you want to do?”

She rested her hand on her pregnant belly. Their second child, a boy, was due in four weeks. “I want you to rub my feet.”

“Done.”

She glanced at her husband and her child. Five years ago she had left Zach at his cabin and thought she might have to spend the rest of her life alone. But he’d realized what they had together and he’d come back for her.

It hadn’t been an easy road. They’d both had adjustments to make. The business had consumed them for a couple of years. But they’d always been together, growing stronger in love. They’d found their own version of normal. A dog, a cat, a beautiful, bright child with another on the way. And a husband who could make her heart race with just a smile.