She was quiet for a moment.

“Are you saying… you’d end our relationship over this? After nearly six years of us being together?”

“I don’t see what other option there is,” Pete said.

“The only choice you’re offering me is to live in the Sea Shanty, or at least somewhere in the Outer Banks, with you and Shelly. I want to marry you, Daria.

Not Shelly. And I need that job in Raleigh. I can’t keep up this pace, physically, forever. I want that admin job

When he put it that way, she felt unreasonable in her demands on him.

Yet, unreasonable or not, she could not do what he wanted her to. For the second time that day, her throat felt tight with unshed tears.

“I love you,” she said.

“But I can’t do what you’re asking of me.”

“Christ, Daria!” Pete suddenly exploded.

“You live your life for Shelly,” he said.

“Her needs always—always—come first. You never put my needs—you never put your own needs—ahead of hers.”

“Pete” — “It’s about time I faced that fact,” he said. She heard the anger in his voice.

“Iwish you luck, Daria,” he said.

“Good luck with the rest of your life.”

The line went dead, and it was a moment before Daria placed the receiver back in its cradle. She wondered why she didn’t feel like crying now, why she felt this odd sense of relief. She was so, so tired of arguing with Pete over Shelly.

“Daria?” Shelly opened Daria’s bedroom door a crack.

“Are you awake?”

she whispered.

“Come in,” Daria said, sitting up.

“I can’t sleep,” Shelly said. She walked into the room, dressed in a nightshirt, her hair loose around her shoulders.

“Neither can I.” Daria moved over to make room for her sister on the queen-size bed.

“Because of the pilot?” Shelly asked.

“Yes.” Among other things.

“I keep thinking about how she died,” Shelly said.

“How horrible her death was.”

“It was,” Daria agreed.

“How old was she?” Shelly asked.

“I think I heard someone say she was eighteen,” Daria said.

“Eighteen.” Shelly blinked her eyes, and in the moon180 Diane Chamberlain light, Daria saw the glossy sheen of tears in them. “Three years younger than me. It’s just not fair.”

“I know,” Daria said.

“A lot of things in life aren’t fair.”

“Iwish I could have traded places with her.” Daria felt some alarm.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t mean that I want to die,” she said quickly.

“But I just feel so sorry for her, that she got three whole years less on earth than I’ve had.”

Daria smiled and pulled her sister close to her.

“You are such a sweetheart,” she said, touched by Shelly’s reasoning. She was glad that she’d lied on her EMT report. And she would lie in her debriefing tomorrow. How could Pete ever ask her to desert her sister?

Rory put his arm around Daria’s shoulders.

“What a horrendous experience,” he said.

“I assume you never told Shelly what really happened?”

“You haven’t known Shelly very long,” Daria said, “but I’m sure you know her well enough to realize she couldn’t handle it.” She leaned her head back against the screen door and looked up at the stars.

Rory’s arm was warm and comforting against her shoulders.

“I still can’t believe I filled out that fraudulent report,” she said.

“I

lied. ” She pounded her fist onto her knee.

“I’ve never lied about anything so important, but I couldn’t drag Shelly into that mess. Pete said the pilot might have died, anyway, but I don’t know if that’s the case.”

“What a nightmare,” Rory said.

“That’s why I quit my EMT position,” she said.

“I just couldn’t face another call. I couldn’t stand to lose another victim, and I was… I still am… disgusted with myself for letting Shelly go out there and for covering up what she did. People here look up to me, and I feel like a fraud.”

“I can’t help but think you did the right thing in covering up Shelly’s role in the accident,” Rory said.

“What good would it have done to point out her mistake to the world? It only would have hurt her, and it wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“I shouldn’t have let her go out to the plane,” Daria said.

“But you thought she could help,” Rory said.

“Had she ever given you a reason to think she was capable of making that sort of error?”

“No,” she admitted.

“That’s why it was so shocking. It was so cold in the water. I keep using that as an excuse, that maybe her ability to reason was screwed up by the cold and confusion. We were all crazed. I doubt any of us were thinking straight.”

“Was that the end of things between you and Pete?” Rory asked. “Pete was so upset that he moved to Raleigh practically the next day,” she said.

“He quit being an EMT, probably for the same reason I did. I miss it so much, though.” Her voice broke again.

Neither of them spoke for a moment. The crackling rush of the waves was the only sound.

“Why did you go tonight?” Rory asked finally.

“Why did you go to the accident?” “I was hoping I would find some strength inside myself that would allow me to help. They are short-staffed. I know that. When I got there, though, and saw how serious the accident was, I just froze. I can’t handle someone else dying in my care. But I feel so selfish.”

She pounded her fist on her knee again.

“Selfish. Guilty. Ashamed.

Cowardly. “

“Shh.” Rory hugged her tighter, closer, and she leaned her head against him.

“Sorry,” she said, wiping the back of her hand across her wet cheek.

“What for?”

“Dumping on you. You’re the only person I’ve told.”

“Hey, I’m glad you could,” he said softly.

“Even though I know you told me about the accident to convince me that Shelly’s judgment is poor. But there’s a huge different between screwing up in the middle of a crisis and longing to know who your parents are. Don’t you agree?”

Daria closed her eyes. Of course he was right. “I suppose so,” she said weakly.

She felt him turn his head to look toward the beach road, and she followed his gaze with her own. Zack and Kara were walking into the cul-de-sac. They looked almost like one person, they were so close together, their arms wrapped around one another.

“They don’t see us,” Rory whispered.

Zack and Kara stopped in front of the Wheelers’ cottage, turning to face each other, locking themselves in a long, intense embrace.

“Guess I’d better go make my presence known,” Rory said. He squeezed her shoulders.

“Are you going to be okay?” he asked, standing up.

“I’m fine.” She smiled at him.

“Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime,” he said, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“That’s what friends are for.”

Daria had no nightmares that night. Instead, she dreamed that she and Rory were in Africa, riding together on the back of an elephant, crossing a golden plain so wide and flat that it looked as though it went on forever. Other people were there, riding elephants behind them. Shelly was there. Jill, from the cul-de-sac. Daria’s mother. And people she didn’t know, the line of elephants and riders streaming far behind her and Rory, curling toward the horizon. But she hadn’t been interested in the other people. She was sitting behind Rory, her arms snug around his waist. The elephant’s rhythmic walk, the bulk of his spine between her legs and the feeling of Rory’s body beneath her hands excited her, and all she could think about was arriving at their destination. There, they would find a cabana, where she and Rory would have privacy.

She awakened before the chain of elephants reached the cabanas, and groaned with disappointment at finding herself in her blue and white, sea-air-filled bedroom. Her body was still charged from her erotic, surreal ride across the plain, and she allowed herself to relive it as she lay in bed awhile longer.

Finally, the scent of seaweed and coffee had grown so strong in her room that she had to face reality and get out of bed. Downstairs, she found Chloe and Shelly already eating breakfast at the picnic table on the porch. She sat next to Shelly and busied herself pouring cereal, slicing a peach, struggling to let the dream go. She was still bursting with the physical sensations of it, and her gaze was drawn again and again across the street to Poll-Rory.

If only she could confide her feelings for Rory to her sisters and get some sisterly advice, but that was impossible. She’d always avoided speaking to Chloe about love and desire. It didn’t seem fair to talk to Chloe about that sort of thing, when Chloe, by virtue of her vow of chastity, could not experience those feelings for herself. And Shelly would make entirely too much of it. She might even say something inappropriate in front of Rory. Anyway, what advice would Shelly have to give?

Shelly was filling the porch with her chatter. She’d found a tiny, perfect starfish on the beach that morning, she said. And dozens of pieces of cobalt-blue glass.

Chloe was silent. Oddly silent. Finally, she interrupted her youngest sister.

“Shelly,” she said gently, “can you tell us why you suddenly want to know who your real mother is? You never seemed to care before, and I don’t understand why it’s suddenly so important to you.”

The change in Shelly’s features was abrupt. She looked into her bowl, dipping her spoon in and out of the milky cereal. There was a sheen of tears in her eyes that surprised Daria, and her own throat tightened as she waited for her younger sister to speak.

Shelly looked up at them.

“I always wanted to know,” she said.

“I just never said anything about it. I didn’t want to hurt Dad’s feelings.