“I love to watch TV in bed,” Bernard says. “I think it’s sexy, don’t you?”

I’m about to give him a don’t-even-try-it look, when I notice his expression. He seems sad.

“Did you just move in?” I ask brightly, searching for an explanation.

“Someone just moved out,” he replies.

“Who?”

“My wife.”

“You’re married?” I shriek. Of all the possibilities, I never considered the one in which he might be hitched. What kind of married man invites a girl he just met to his apartment?

“My ex -wife,” he corrects. “I keep forgetting we’re not married. We got divorced a month ago and I’m still not used to it.”

“So you were married?”

“For six years. But we were together for two before that.”

Eight years? My eyes narrow as I do a quick calculation. If Bernard was in a relationship for that long, it means he has to be at least thirty. Or thirty-one. Or even… thirty-five?

When was his first play released? I remember reading about it, so I had to be at least ten. To cover up my ruminations, I quickly ask, “How was it?”

“How was what?”

“Your marriage.”

“Well,” he laughs. “Not so good. Considering we’re divorced now.”

It takes me a second to emotionally recalibrate. During the walk over, the far-off reaches of my imagination were constructing visions of Bernard and me together, but nowhere in that picture was there an ex-wife. I always figured my one true love would have only one true love, too-me. The fact of Bernard’s previous marriage throws a real monkey wrench into my fantasy.

“And my wife took all the furniture. What about you?” he asks. “Have you ever been married?”

I look at him in astonishment. I’m barely old enough to drink, I nearly say. Instead, I shake my head as if I, too, have been disappointed in love.

“I guess we’re both a couple of sad sacks,” he says. I go along with his mood. I’m finding him particularly attractive at the moment and I’m hoping he’ll put his arms around me and kiss me. I’m longing to be pressed up against that lean chest. I sit in the beanbag chair, instead.

“Why’d she take the furniture?” I ask.

“My wife?”

“I thought you were divorced,” I say, trying to keep him on point.

“She’s mad at me.”

“Can’t you make her give it back?”

“I don’t think so. No.”

“Why not?”

“She stubborn. Oh Lord. She’s as stubborn as a mule on race day. Always has been. That’s how she got so far.”

“Hmmm.” I roll around seductively on the beanbag.

My actions have their desired effect, that being why should he think about his ex-wife when he has a lovely young woman-me-to concentrate on instead? Sure enough, in the next second, he asks, “How about you? Are you hungry?”

“I’m always hungry.”

“There’s a little French place around the corner. We could go there.”

“Terrific,” I say, leaping to my feet, despite the fact that the word “French” reminds me of the restaurant I used to go to in Hartford with my old boyfriend, Sebastian, who dumped me for my best friend, Lali.

“You like French food?” he asks.

“Love it,” I reply. Sebastian and Lali were a long time ago. And besides, I’m with Bernard Singer now, not some mixed-up high school boy.

The “little French place around the corner” turns out to be several blocks away. And it’s not exactly “little.” It’s La Grenouille. Which is so famous, even I’ve heard of it.

Bernard ducks his head in embarrassment as the maître d’ greets him by name. “Bonsoir, Monsieur Singer. We have your usual table.”

I look at Bernard curiously. If he comes here all the time, why didn’t he say he was a regular?

The maître d’ picks up two menus and with an elegant tip of his head, leads us to a charming table by the window.

Then Mr. Monkey-suit pulls out my chair, unfolds my napkin, and places it on my lap. He rearranges my wine glasses, picks up a fork, inspects it, and, the fork having passed muster, replaces it next to my plate. Honestly, all the attention is disorienting. When the maître d’ finally retreats, I look to Bernard for help.

He’s studying the menu. “I don’t speak French. Do you?” he asks.

“Un peu.”

“Really?”

“Vraiment.”

“You must have gone to a very fancy school. The only foreign language I learned was fisticuffs.”

“Ha.”

“I was pretty good at it too,” he says, making jabbing motions in the air. “Had to be. I was this runt of a kid and everyone’s favorite punching bag.”

“But you’re so tall,” I point out.

“I didn’t grow until I was eighteen. What about you?”

“I stopped growing when I was six.”

“Hahaha. You’re funny.”

And just as the conversation is about to take off, the maître d’ returns with a bottle of white wine. “Your Pouilly-Fuissé, Monsieur Singer.”

“Oh, thanks,” Bernard says, looking sheepish again. This is very odd. The apartment, the restaurant, the wine-surely Bernard is wealthy. Why, then, does he insist on acting like he’s not? Or rather, that it’s all a burden which he must somehow endure?

The wine pouring is yet another ritual. When it’s over, I breathe a sigh of relief.

“It’s annoying, isn’t it?” Bernard says, echoing my thoughts.

“Why do you let them do it, then?”

“It makes them happy. If I didn’t sniff the cork, they’d be very disappointed.”

“You might even lose your special table.”

“I’ve been trying to sit at that table”-he points to an empty table in the back of the room-“for years. But they won’t let me. It’s Siberia,” he adds, in a dramatic whisper.

“Is it colder there?”

“Freezing.”

“And what about this table?”

“Right on the equator.” He pauses. “And you-you’re on the equator too.” He reaches out and takes my hand. “I like your gumption,” he says.

The chef pulls out all the stops for Bernard. After a stomach-numbing meal of seven courses-including soup, a soufflé, two desserts, and some delicious after-dinner wine that tastes like ambrosia-I look at my watch and discover it’s just after midnight. “I ought to go.”

“Why? Will you turn into a pumpkin?”

“Something like that,” I say, thinking about Peggy.

His next move hangs in the air, spinning like a lazy disco ball. “I suppose I should walk you home,” he says finally.

“And ruin all this?” I laugh.

“I haven’t done ‘this’ for a while. What about you?”

“Oh, I’m an expert,” I tease.

We walk back to my building, swinging our hands between us.

“Good night, pussycat,” he says, stopping in front of my door. We stand awkwardly, until he makes his move. He tilts up my chin and leans in for a kiss. It’s gentle and civilized at first, then more and more urgent, ending just before some imaginary line of lust is crossed.

The kiss leaves me swooning. Bernard looks at me longingly, but settles for a gentlemanly peck on the cheek and a squeeze of my hand. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.” I can barely breathe.

I watch him stroll off into the night. At the corner, he turns and waves. When he’s disappeared completely, I slip inside.

I creep down the hallway to the apartment, brushing my fingers against the pea-green wall for support, wondering why anyone would paint a hallway such an ugly color. At the door, I carefully insert my key into the first lock. The bolt drops with an alarming ping.

I hold my breath, wondering if Peggy has heard the sound, and if so, what she’ll do. But when I don’t hear anything for several seconds, I try the next lock.

It, too, turns easily, which means I should now be able to enter the apartment. I twist the knob and try to ease open the door, but it won’t move.

Huh? Maybe Peggy didn’t lock the door after all and I’ve ended up locking it instead. It doesn’t seem like something Peggy would do, but I try turning the locks in the opposite direction just to make sure.

No luck. The door moves precisely one-sixteenth of an inch, and then refuses to budge, as if someone has shoved a heavy piece of furniture in front of it.

The dead bolt, I think, with rising panic. It’s a metal bar that runs across the door and can only be opened and closed from inside the apartment. We’re supposed to use it strictly in an emergency, like a nuclear war or a blackout or a zombie attack. But apparently Peggy has decided to break her own stupid rule and has locked it to teach me a lesson.

Crap. I have to either wake her up or sleep in the hallway.

I scratch on the door. “L’il?” I hiss, hoping L’il is awake and will hear me. “L’il?”

Nothing.

I slump to the floor, resting my back against the wall. Does Peggy really hate me that much? And why? What have I ever done to her?

Another half hour passes, and I give up. I curl into a ball with my Carrie bag nestled between my arms, and try to get some sleep.

And then I guess I do fall asleep, because the next thing I hear is L’il whispering, “Carrie? Are you okay?”

I open my eyes, wondering where the hell I am, and what the hell I’m doing in the hallway.

And then I remember: Peggy and her damn dead bolt.

L’il puts her finger to her lips and motions for me to come inside.

“Thanks,” I mouth. She nods as we quietly shut the door. I pause, listening for sounds of Peggy, but there’s only silence.

I turn the knob on the bolt and lock us inside.

Chapter Six

The next morning, triumphant, perhaps, in her perceived victory, Peggy sleeps until nine. This allows the Prisoners of Second Avenue a much-needed extra hour of shut-eye.

But once Peggy’s up, she’s up. And while early-morning silence has never been her forte, this morning she appears to be in an especially good mood.