"I think maybe you should talk to Ryan about this," Ashley said. "It's your family, after all. I don't know them yet, but I thought I'd have everyone up over the Columbus Day weekend. Save the date, will you? Here's Ryan."
"What's up, sis?" he asked Frankie, and then he listened. Finally he said, "Okay, you tell Ma not to worry. I'll be back in town after Labor Day, and in the meantime I'll call Bride. She can calm the rest of them down. After all, I did speak with them after the wedding. What did they think? That I was joking?"
"They said you were drunk, and they did think you were joking," Frankie answered him. She giggled. "Those formal engraved announcements have really done them in, Ryan. I think they're suddenly beginning to realize that you actually did do it."
"Tell Ma I'll take care of everything, and I'll call her later," Ryan said grimly. "Thanks for the heads-up, kid." He hung up the phone. Then he pulled out his cell. "I'm going to call Bride now," he told Ashley. "She has caller ID, and I don't want her getting the house number. She's a real pit bull when it comes to ferreting out information." He turned back to the cell and pressed a single number. The phone rang, and then he heard his oldest sister's voice as she answered. "Bride," Ryan said, "what the hell is the matter with you and the others, hassling Ma like that?"
There was silence, and then Bride said, "You really got married?"
"Yeah, I really got married. And I'm on my honeymoon right now, and I'm having to deal with you and the others, Bride. I'm not happy."
"How could you do this to us, Ryan?" his eldest sibling asked him.
"Not ask you to the wedding? Now, why would I do that, Bride? You and the others would have made it all about yourselves and spoiled what was an incredible day for Ashley and me. Incidentally, we're inviting you all for the Columbus Day weekend, so tell the others and save the date. And be on your best behavior, because if any of you cause trouble, you won't be invited again. Ma and Frankie are crazy about her, Bride, and Ashley already loves them." He was ignoring the real meaning behind his sister's question. Ryan knew damned well she was talking about money, and not hurt feelings.
"You know exactly what I mean, Ryan," Bride said, unwilling to let it go. "We're going to hire a lawyer. You can't do this to us!" Her tone was venomous.
He laughed at her. "But I did, sweetie. And incidentally, none of you has a leg to stand on, Bride. Dad's will only said I had to marry before my fortieth birthday, which isn't until next April. That was it. I'm married, legally and lawfully under the laws of this state. I didn't even have to have a church wedding, just get married-and I did." Bride hung up on her brother, and Ryan closed his cell, sticking it back in his pocket.
"I take it she wasn't happy," Ashley said softly. "I'm sorry, Ryan."
"They're only interested in the money," he told her. "Don't feel bad, baby. Frankie and I were always the outsiders where the five harpies were concerned. Bride was thirteen when I was born, and fifteen when Frankie came along. Dee, who's the youngest of them, was four. And I was a boy, and suddenly the family had its prince." He grinned. "They have never been happy with me." He chuckled.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Don't be." He caught her hand up and kissed it. "Frankie and I were partners in crime. Ma and Dad spoiled us. And the harpies didn't count for us."
And then they heard a strident voice. "Don't bother announcing me, Byrnes. I know my way to the porch."
"Jesus Jenny!" Ashley swore softly as a plump blonde in a pink-green-and-white summer dress came into view. "It's all right, Byrnes. Let her in, please."
"Ashley! What did you do?" the woman cried, and, seeing Ryan, her blue eyes grew wide with both surprise and admiration.
"Hello, Lila. It's been a while," Ashley said. "The paper is out, I take it. Ryan, this is Lila Peabody, Grandfather's friend. Lila, this is my husband, Ryan Mulcahy."
"Why, Mr. Mulcahy," Lila Peabody cooed, suddenly all sugar and spice, "aren't you just the handsomest thing! Ashley, dear, you really are very, very naughty keeping such a secret from all of us, but then, of course, after your last three attempts at marriage I can certainly understand. She did tell you that she'd been engaged and planned three weddings before she married you, didn't she?" Lila purred.
"One was gay, one died, and the survivor is wanted in two states and three countries. Yes, she told me," Ryan answered. "Ashley and I don't have any secrets from each other, do we, darling?"
"Not a one," Ashley replied, struggling not to laugh. "Lila, dearest, would you like to see the proofs of our wedding photos? We got them a few days ago, but we've been so busy with…" She giggled. "Well,, I expect you know what we've been busy doing."
"Why, yes, I would like to see them," Lila Peabody said. "There were only three pictures in the paper, and they were rather grainy."
Ashley slid the-proofs from their envelope and spread them on the porch table.
"You were married in the garden," Lila noted. "How long have you known each other, dear?"
"A little over two months," Ashley said.
"It was love at first sight," Ryan added.
"Oh, my," Lila commented. "The judge married you. He rarely does that, you know. No church wedding?"
"We're deciding which church," Ryan said. "I'm a Roman Catholic."
"Oh, dear!" Lila made a little moue with her cupid's-bow mouth. "I don't think dearest Edward would have approved of that at all, Ashley."
"Then he shouldn't have put that clause in his will, Lila. Or he should have at least stipulated more clearly the kind of man he wanted me to marry. I figured Ryan was sexy and rich and he didn't need my money, which certainly made him a good bet."
"And besides, we can't keep our hands off each other," Ryan put in with a wicked grin at Lila Peabody. "Neither of us wanted to start a scandal." He chuckled.
"Oh, my!" Lila exclaimed, flustered.
"That's my mother-in-law"-Ashley pointed to one of the pictures-"and Ryan's sister." She shook a warning finger at him, but she was close to laughter.
"My goodness, what a handsome woman, and your sister is certainly pretty. She isn't married?" Lila wanted to know. "And your father? Is there a picture of him here?"
"Both my sister and my mother are widows," Ryan responded.
"Oh, the poor dears!" Lila exclaimed. "I certainly know the sorrow and loneliness of being a widow." She sighed dramatically, her hand going to her heart.
"Yes, Lila has really struggled valiantly to overcome her pain," Ashley remarked sweetly.
Lila reached out with a plump and very beringed hand to pat Ashley on her slender hand. "You always understood me, dear," she said. "Edward was forever remarking on your kind heart and infallible instincts where humanity was concerned. And dear Edward was never wrong. No engagement ring, dear?" But her sharp eye noted the superior quality of Ashley's diamond wedding band.
"It was a whirlwind courtship," Ashley said.
"Actually, I'm having a ring made for Ash in Italy by a jeweler friend," Ryan said. "My business requires that I travel now and again."
Now Ashley drew Lila away from the pictures, saying, "Lila, dear, I hope you won't think us terribly rude, but we're on our honeymoon this week. Ryan has to go back into town on Tuesday. It was so sweet of you to stop by." She began leading their guest from the porch through the living room and out into the foyer of the house. -
"Then you'll be moving to the city, dear?" Lila said.
"My dear Lila-I may call you Lila, mayn't I?" Ryan murmured as he took her hand and put it through his arm. "We would never trade Egret Pointe and this beautiful home for a city apartment. I may go in a day or two a week, but I can easily run my business from here." He smiled down at her, pleased when a glazed look overcame her.
Lila Peabody sighed. "You have just gone and married the most charming man, Ashley, dear," she said. "I hope you will bring him to tea one afternoon this autumn."
Before Ashley could answer, Ryan did. "I would be delighted to take tea with such a lovely lady, Lila," he told her. "Just give me a little time to settle in, my dear."
Byrnes was opening the door, and Ashley stood spellbound, watching as her husband saw the now awed Lila Peabody to her car and stood in the drive before the house, waving her off.
Byrnes was chuckling softly. "I think you've married a dangerous man, Miss Ashley," he told her with a smile.
"I suspect you are right," Ashley agreed. "I've never seen that wretched woman managed so well, and she didn't utter a word about SSEXL."
"Yes, she did," Ryan said, coming back into the house. "When I kissed her hand and tucked her in her Ford Taurus, she told me coyly that SSEXL's loss was certainly Egret Pointe's gain." He laughed. "Now if only the five harpies could be handled as well."
They spent the remainder of the week and the long weekend alone, eating, drinking, and making wild, passionate love. When Tuesday came Ashley found she was unhappy to be letting him go.
"When will you be home?" she asked him as she stood by his car.
"Thursday night," he promised. "Don't make any plans for the weekend. I want you all to myself. Now that I've had a little taste of married life I find I like it."
"Don't go all possessive on me, Ryan," she teased him. "What you really like about marriage is fucking the ears off of me between naps."
"Yes, I do," he agreed amiably, and raced his engine several times. "You are a very receptive partner, and I expect by Thursday night you will be well rested, and ready to pleasure me once again, woman."
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