N. Walters - Stroke of Sapphire

She cried out and a single tear seeped from the corner of her eye. He leaned down and licked the salty drop, unsure if she was crying because of pleasure or pain. He hesitated, but she hooked her legs around his flanks in silent encouragement. He forged ahead and when his cock was locked deep inside her, he stopped and simply enjoyed the sensation of her wet sheath clinging to him.

He began to move, but he was too on edge to last long. Three strokes later, he came. Reaching between her thighs, he stroked her clit and she came again, joining him as he went over the edge. He yelled his release and buried his face between her breasts.

He rested there until he felt Sapphire shiver beneath him. Jake carefully eased out of her, but she winced. He frowned as he looked at her. She was pale and her eyes were unfocused. He was ready to go again and she was utterly wrecked.

Swearing under his breath, he lifted her into his arms and shifted her so he could yank down the covers and tuck her into bed. She was practically lifeless as she lay there, totally spent.

He turned on the bedside lamp and swore under his breath. There were already bruises coming out on her hips where he’d held her so tight and his five o’clock shadow had left a rash on her magnificent breasts.

“Sapphire?” When she didn’t answer him, his concern grew. “Baby, talk to me.” He patted her cheeks and her eyes gained some focus.

“Jake?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

He swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah, baby, it’s me.”

“I’m sore.” She winced and moved, obviously trying to find a more comfortable spot to rest.

He thought about running her a bath for her to soak in. “I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

She nodded and closed her eyes. “Okay.” She drifted off to sleep seconds later.

He stared down at her for the longest time, noting the fatigue on her face and the dark circles beneath her eyes. There was another slight bruise on the inside of her inner right thigh. He couldn’t even remember what he could have done to put it there.

Swallowing hard, he turned off the bedside lamp so he wouldn’t see the marks he’d left on her. Jake pulled on his clothes, sat in the chair in the corner of her room and kept an eye on her all through the long night. He examined what had happened between them over and over as the dark of night turned into the dim light of dawn.

There was no way Sapphire could handle the sexual demands he would make of her. Not many women could. She was so sweet, so innocent. She deserved a gentle lover, one who would go slow and careful. Not a rutting bull who wanted to fuck her hard all night long and left her with bruises.

What they’d done tonight was barely the tip of the iceberg of what he wanted to do to her and with her, and she’d ended up sore and completely exhausted. And the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her.

No matter how he looked at the situation, it seemed he had little choice. He had to walk away from Sapphire before he hurt her worse than he had tonight. He was obviously too rough, too demanding for her.

He cursed the universe for showing him a glimpse of heaven only to tear it from him. It was obvious to him that while Sapphire was enthusiastic, she wasn’t experienced enough to handle his needs in the bedroom. He couldn’t bear to think what would happen if he really took control and did all he wanted to.

He couldn’t risk harming her again. Better a quick break now than to hurt her continuously. No matter how he played it out in his head, there was no way for either of them to win. He was too controlling, too dark for her to handle.

For fuck’s sake his intense brand of lovemaking had left bruises on her soft skin. What kind of animal did that make him?

And there was no way he wanted her to lose the sweet innocence she had. That’s part of why he’d fallen for her in the first place. She’d shown him all sides of herself, but he’d held his darker side in check, keeping it hidden until tonight.

She moaned in her sleep, as she’d been doing for the past few hours, and it hardened his resolve. It might kill him to lose her, but better to set her free than to see her come to dislike him, or worse, fear him.

It was well past eight in the morning when her eyelids fluttered open. She seemed disoriented and winced when she rolled over. Jake felt like kicking his own ass. He was too much beast for this innocent beauty.

“How do you feel?” He kept his voice level, letting no emotion show. What he really wanted to do was fall on his knees and beg her forgiveness, promising her he’d change. But he knew he couldn’t change who or what he was. He was forty years old and knew himself too well to lie.

“Jake?” She tried to push herself up, but didn’t quite make it. She licked her lips. “That was…intense.”

Jake nodded. “It was too much. I know and I’m sorry for that.” He pushed out of the chair and went to the end of the bed, looking down at her body huddled beneath the covers, wishing he could see her naked one more time. “It’s best for us both if we don’t see one another again.” Each word was ripped from his soul, leaving him bare and bleeding inside.

“What?” She blinked up at him and frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m too much for you, demand too much in the bedroom.” He raked his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. “I know you’re sore from last night, but even now I want to roll you onto your stomach and fuck you. What the hell does that say about me? I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have, so it’s better if I just leave.” He turned and walked to the door, reaching it far too quickly. Each step away from her was agony.

“Jake.” She called his name and he glanced over his shoulder. “I don’t understand. Stay and talk with me.” A tear ran down her cheek, piercing his gut like a knife.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He hurried away. For the first time in his life, he was too much of a coward to stay. He grabbed his coat from the closet and opened the front door. It closed with a finality that almost brought him to his knees.

The only thing that sustained him was knowing he was doing what was right for Sapphire.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jake shook off the dark memories that threatened to consume him. He’d replayed that night over and over in his head, wondering what he might have done different. Could he have stayed and tempered his sexual demands, been more careful? Could he have changed enough to make a relationship between them work? There was no way of knowing and it was too late. He’d panicked at the thought of hurting her, physically and emotionally, and had severed all ties with her. Sapphire had moved on with her life and quickly.

For the first week after he’d left her, she’d tried to reach him, calling every night, but he hadn’t answered, instead letting her calls go to his voicemail where he listened to them over and over, torturing himself with the sound of her voice. It had taken every ounce of strength he’d had to turn away when her name flashed on his phone.

Thankfully, his brother didn’t know about what had happened between them and Sapphire must not have told her sister either. If Topaz knew what had happened, she’d tell John and his twin would kick his sorry ass for what he’d done.

The day after she’d stopped calling, she’d gone on her first date. Obviously, he’d done the right thing by walking away from her, even if it didn’t feel that way.

Jake picked up his cup and downed the last of his coffee. It was cold and bitter now, much like him. He’d taken on the task of watching over her, a sort of penance for what he’d taken and how he’d hurt her.

Sapphire wondered what in the name of God she’d been thinking to accept a date with Ivan Gregor. She’d met him through a mutual friend, more of an acquaintance really, and he’d seemed like a nice enough guy, if slightly self-centered. All he’d talked about the entire evening were his real estate deals, how much money he made and his new Manhattan apartment.

What in hell was she doing? She’d gone out on a multitude of dates over the past few weeks, all of them with seemingly perfectly nice men, but there wasn’t an ounce of spark with any of them.

None of them was Jake.

Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked several times to push them back. No way was she going to cry over Jake Knight. She’d shed far too many tears the week after he’d made love to her and left her. Thankfully, Topaz had been too wrapped up in work and her new relationship with John to notice. Sapphire had retreated to her jewelry studio where she’d spent more time curled up on her chaise lounge than actually designing or creating.

She missed him. There was a hole in her heart where Jake had resided. Since the first moment she’d seen him, she’d wanted him. He was tall with extremely broad shoulders, huge biceps and rugged good looks. And he filled out a pair of jeans in a way that should be illegal. His blond hair brushed the top of his shoulders and his icy-blue eyes didn’t miss a thing.

Funny how his twin brother didn’t do a thing for her, but put Jake in a room with her and all her senses flared to life and her skin practically tingled with excitement. He was self-contained and quiet, a thoughtful man, a man with secrets. She’d sensed that much about him over the months he’d been her bodyguard.

He’d actually guarded her twice and she’d had a hard time getting over him the first time he’d left and they hadn’t even kissed. This time they’d had mind-blowing, rock-her-world sex and Sapphire knew she’d never be the same again.

She could still picture him standing near the edge of her bed staring down at her, telling her he was leaving because he was too much for her in the bedroom, his sexual needs too intense. Translation, she wasn’t enough. It had devastated her.