Alla Kar - Stroke Of Fear

   I close my eyes. “Not right now. I’m eating. And I have to get ready to go camping.”

   He screws his eyes shut like he’s in pain from hearing that. “Please?” He lets out a breathless sigh.

   Cassie kicks my leg underneath the table and gives me the eye.

“Okay, two seconds.”

   I follow Jake outside and toward the corner of the building. He stops and leans against the wall. “Aubrey.”

   The way he says my name makes my stomach queasy. “Jake.”

   He looks down at me, big brown eyes wide. “Please, don’t date him. I miss you. So much.”

   I cross my arms over my chest and glance out at the field to my left. “I like him, Jake. A lot. I don’t know if you’ve felt it, but we’ve slipped away. We’re not the same as we were.”

   “Because of you,” he says, pointing his finger toward my chest. “You were so closed up when I met you. I was surprised you let me in. Then I realized… you hadn’t. You just went with the flow. I was determined to make you open up with me, but it never happened.” Kicking off the wall, he grabs my chin in his hand, forcing me to look up at him. “Why? Why was I never good enough to open up to?”

   I shrug, and move my chin out of his grasp. “I never felt comfortable. After four years of dating you, I didn’t feel like I could tell you why I was so closed up.”

   “But he knows, doesn’t he?”

   I don’t answer. Jake knows the answer and he wants to hear it. Pressing my lips together, I take a step back. “I have to go.”

   “Please?” Jake snatches my arm.

   “Stop,” I say, ripping from his hold. “I have to go.”

   He takes a step back, looking at me like he’s never seen me before. He’s lost. Eyes wide, lips parted.

   I turn and walk toward our meeting spot. I’m through letting him mess with my head.

Aubrey

   Tanner is talking to a few boys when I walk up. His eyes catch mine, and he smiles. Really smiles. My heart thumps a few beats faster, and I quicken my step. Not realizing I’m doing so.

   “Hey,” he whispers, adjusting his backpack.

    “You ready to do this?” I tug my own pack up my shoulder. I hate this damn thing. It has my tent, sleeping bag, food and my cell phone shoved down in it. Tanner reaches over and grabs my pack with ease. He slings it over his free shoulder.

   “You know, this isn’t the nineteen hundreds. You don’t have to break your back so you can carry my bags.”

   “You don’t think I can handle it?”

   I squeeze his bicep. “I guess you’ve got it under control.”

   He rolls his eyes. We get the group together, and double check all seven of their bags. Austin’s coming, and I saw the irritation in Tanner’s face when he saw his name on the roster.

   The hike up the trail is three miles. My feet are killing me in these hiking boots my mom got me. She said I would need them this summer. I’m fighting the urge to bury them in the woods.

   We stop halfway and have a snack and water, then we start back. Tanner looks hot hiking with me. A bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face, into the scruff of his jaw. I want to lick it off.

   It’s nightfall by the time we get there. The camp is a clearing in the middle of nowhere. I’m not sure how safe this is, but there were no murders listed when I Googled the camp three weeks ago. I’m hoping it doesn’t start now.

   “Ah,” I say, dropping to a log surrounding the campfire.

   Tanner eyes me rubbing my feet but doesn’t say anything. He gets everyone settled, and then starts to show them how to put up their tents. I’m glad he knows how, because the damn instruction pamphlet isn’t much help.

   A few minutes into attempting to put their tents up, Austin comes over with a ripped one in his hands. Tanner growls. “What the hell did you do?”

   Austin smiles and pushes his blond locks from his face. “It broke. I guess I’ll have to go back.”

   “No, you can use mine.” Tanner’s gaze catches mine and I know he wants to sleep in my tent. He lifts an eyebrow asking if its okay and I nod.

   Austin frowns. “Then where will you…?” he trails off, a smile forming on his face. “Ah, you’re going to share one with Aubrey. You’re welcome, bro. You’re welcome.”

   Tanner points toward his tent. “That’s yours. Don’t fuck it up, or I’m gonna whoop your ass.”

    Sharing a tent. Sure, I had imagined Tanner sneaking into my tent late tonight, holding me like he did in the field. But, knowing he has to sleep with me warms my body everywhere.

   Tossing some logs into the fire, I try not to laugh. Even though Austin is obnoxious, I can’t help but like him. He has that effect on people.

   The night is settling in, the crickets singing, the moon hangs brightly in the sky. Beside the moonlight, the fire is the only other source of light. The kids eat their Lunchables, and the ones who will eat the beans Tanner made shovel those in their mouths. I watch as he stirs the pot that was here for us, his muscles clenching with each movement. My thoughts drift back to the night before. He felt so warm and safe. And God, he can kiss.

   “See something you like, Blondie?”

   I jump and drop my plastic fork.

“Austin,” I say, grabbing another one from the package.

   He laughs and taps my shoulder. “You like my brother, huh?”

   I sigh but don’t answer. I don’t have to answer him.

   “Humm,” he says, chomping on his food. “He’s a good guy. Damaged, but good. But, I kind of think you’re damaged, too.”

   What. The. Hell? “How would you know that?” I ask, keeping an eye over all the kids eating.

   “I see it in your eyes. It’s the same look Tanner gets when Amanda is mentioned.”

I know that look. I see it every day in the mirror.

   Tanner sits down on the other side of me with his food and nudges my shoulder. “My brother givin’ you a hard time?”

   I glance at Austin, who is now flirting with a girl on his other side.

“No.”

   We finish our meals. I let the kids make s’mores and tell stories around the fire. Tanner skips me when it gets around to my turn. I’m glad. I don’t want another repeat of last time.

   “Okay, guys. It’s time to get into bed. It’s eleven. Stay in your own tents. If you have to use the bathroom through the night, come get us. Now that I think of it, does anyone have to go now?” No one says anything, so Tanner continues. “We don’t want you going off by yourselves, ’kay? Come. Get. Us.”

    They all mumble underneath their breath and start staggering toward their tents. I gather the leftovers and dump them in a trash bag we brought along. There are cans everywhere. This is birth control in itself. Never have kids and you won’t have to pick up everything they put in their hands.

   A warm breath spills over my neck. “Need some help, darlin’?”

   “Well, I’m finished now.” I turn and glance up at him. “Just like a man, wait until you’re finished to ask.”

   A smile is riding on his lips, the moonbeams animating his face. I run my fingers along the scruff on his jaw. He moans underneath my touch and turns his mouth to nip at my finger. “Ya know, I was pretty bummed that my brother was coming along. But, it looks like the little bastard may have done some good.”

   He laughs, leaning his mouth toward my ear. His voice is deep, low, sexy. As. Fuck. “You think you’re going to get lucky?”

   He nibbles my earlobe and wraps one of his arms around my waist to bring me closer. “I think I may.”

   Pushing back from me, he wraps his hand over the back of my neck. “You ready for bed?”

   God. I never thought those words would sound so sexy. “I need to use the bathroom first. Can you walk with me?”

   He nods, sliding his hand down my back to grip around my waist. I grab some toilet paper from my bag and let Tanner lead me into the woods. Mrs. Jones had mentioned we could “use the land.” I’m assuming that means use a leaf. Hell no. I don’t think anyone is that into nature to do that. Well, at least I’m not.

   It’s quiet, only the distant sound of crickets. Our feet crunch over the leaves, and it’s familiar, nice. None of this looks real. It’s all too perfect. Something bad always happens when things are too perfect.

   “Over here. Go and I’ll keep watch.”

   “From what? Bears?”

   He rolls his eyes and points toward a tree behind him. “Kids. You know my brother, I’m sure there is at least ten boys on this trip that would love to see your naked ass. Me included. Not while you’re peeing but … you get the point.”

    “Well, if you’re good…” I say, taking a few steps out of the way. I do my business, quickly. I hate peeing in the woods. Leaves and sticks always poke my ass. When I finish I fumble around in the dark, loudly, until I feel Tanner’s arm around my waist.

   “You’d make a terrible spy. You’re loud.”

   “Ha. Ha.”

   We make it back to the camp in one piece. All the kids are in their beds, and I hear the faint sound of snoring. I’m sure they’re just as tired as I am. Although, they aren’t spending their night with a hottie who wants to devour you. I giggle to myself.

  “What’s so funny?” Tanner asks.

   I shake my head.

   He tugs me harder against his side. “What’s. So. Funny,” he whispers in my ear. I can hear the laugh in his voice, but I keep my mouth closed.

   I unzip the tent, and then I feel a gentle push. “Ouch,” I say, rubbing my butt. Tanner leans in and zips the tent up around us. The tension is already boiling. I want him more than I did in his truck.