“Why did you move out here?”

   “To get away from it. From Dad, Mom and Amand—” I have no idea why I said her name. Why I even brought her up. It’s been a fucking year. I should be over her by now.

   I feel Aubrey’s fingers lace through mine. “A girlfriend?”

“She died a year ago.” I choke out. “She was coming home from class and ran off the road trying to return one of my texts. I couldn’t stand to be around her family anymore, knowing I ruined their lives. I just…I just needed to get away from those memories and make new ones.”

   Aubrey nods and squeezes my hand. “You can’t blame yourself. You know that, right?”

   I nod. Do I know that? I have no fucking idea whether I do or not. I tell myself that, but it never seems to stick.

   “What about you? You feel like telling me the story? Why you don’t swim anymore?”

   Frowning, she turns to look at the blackening sky. She doesn’t say anything for so long, I’ve almost made my mind up that she isn’t going to say anything.

“I see him all the time. Whether it’s in my nightmares or out of the corner of my eye, I always see him.” She presses her eyes closed and a tear runs down her cheek. “I was a senior in high school. I’d been on the swim team since I was a freshman. My mom used to call me mermaid because I was always in the water.” A blank expression travels across her face, and I see the memory start to consume her.

* * *

Aubrey

   “I thought I had it all. The swim finals were coming up, and I was the second fastest freestyle swimmer in the state. I was going to beat Becky Peters this year. I knew it.” A laugh breaks from my throat. It doesn’t even sound familiar. “Hannah, my friend from high school, and I decided to go out to a party an on September sixteenth. I remember that day like yesterday. We spent the entire evening getting ready. Our hair had so much hairspray in it. I used an entire bottle.” She pauses and shifts.

   “Maybe I should tell you this first. Two years prior, there was a guy on our swim team name Michael Powers. He was the fastest swimmer in the state. He was popular. Everyone loved him… including me. We dated for a year until he suddenly…changed. The once-a-day phone calls turned into four-a-day calls and then into two an hour. He had become obsessed. My parents made me stop seeing him. I wasn’t allowed to talk to him. We even had a restraining order against him. He didn’t stop. Somewhere deep down inside me I knew he wouldn’t stop…”

* * *

   “Aubrey, get your cute ass over here. The party is this way,” Hannah pulled me toward the small alleyway close to Seventeen. It was a club where high school kids could get in.

   “I would if I wasn’t wearing these deathtraps you call shoes. Shit, my feet are throbbing.”

   Hannah flips her black hair and tugs me closer. “Oh, there’s Aaron and Jace.” She squeals into my ear, and I hold back a laugh. I had started seeing Jace a few months after the Michael incident. He was good-looking. Nice. Sweet. He never pressured me into doing anything I wasn’t ready to do. “Well, don’t you look pretty tonight,” he said, trailing a kiss along my jaw.

   I smiled into his touch and let him drag me toward the building. When we stepped in line, I reached around for my purse. “Shit, I forgot my wallet. I’m gonna run back and get it really quick.”

   Jace took a step with me.

“No, wait here. I’ll be right back,” I said.

   He furrowed his brow. “Maybe I should go with you.”

   I rolled my eyes. “It’s right there,” I pointed toward Hannah’s Civic. “You can see me from here. Plus,” I reached up and kissed his lips, “I can take care of myself.”

   Slapping my butt, he pointed for me to go. I clacked against the parking lot, humming underneath my breath. My wallet was sitting in the passenger side seat. I grabbed it, turning and tripping over my heel. “Fuck.”

   “You look beautiful.”

   Chills ran down my spine. I knew it was him. I knew his voice. I had gone to sleep every night listening to it over the phone. Slowly, I turned around. Michael stood toward the left of me, hands shoved into his jeans pockets.

   “Michael, you know you’re not supposed to be near me. You need to leave.” I glanced over at the alleyway. Jace was talking to the usher, laughing, not looking my way at all.

   “We won’t have to worry about him anymore, Aubrey. You don’t have to pretend to love him anymore.”

   I opened my mouth and shut it. His blue eyes were cold. Hard. They didn’t look like they used to. “I’m not pretending, Michael. I like Jace.”

   “No,” he hissed, “you don’t. You’re fucking lying. You’re a fucking lying bitch.” His voice had grown, ringing against my ears.

   “I’m going to go back to the club now. You need to leave.”

   Michael tore his white polo hat from his head and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “No, you’re not going anywhere.”

   Fright wrapped around my throat. There was no way I’d make it if I ran. Not in these heels. But, I had to try. Clenching my fists, I turned and ran. The rocks kept twisting my ankles different ways, causing me to stumble as I pushed frantically forward.

   I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, forcing my voice to reach its limit. Jace’s head twisted around, and his eyes widened. He started toward me, screaming my name. But it was too late. Michael’s arms wrapped around my waist, and pulled me back. I kicked, screamed, clawed. Then I felt something hit my head and everything went black.

   Water. I knew that smell, that feel anywhere. I spent three hours a day in the water. I knew when I was near it, and I was near it alright. My head felt heavy and my body was limp. I tried to move my hands, but they were tied together, along with my feet, with pink zip ties. My favorite color. Bile rose into my throat.

   My tongue was dry against the top of my mouth, but I managed a soft “help.”

“No one can hear you, baby.”

   Fuck. I screwed my eyes together. No, no, no. “Michael, please untie me. Please.”

  He let out a breathy chuckle. “‘Please?’ Why should I take pity on you? You’re cheating on me.”

   “We’re not together, Mich—” A hard slap hit across my face. My lip started to tremble and the metallic taste of blood ran down my throat.

   “You’re a fucking bitch!” he yelled into my face. Bending down on his knees, he reached underneath me, picking me up into cradle. He grunted, and I realized why I was so heavy. Cement blocks were tied to each one of my feet. Oh, God. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I am. But, if I can’t have you no one can.”


   “No,” I shouted, while my body was being lifted onto a rail. I focused on my surroundings. I was on a bridge about a mile from my house. The water was freezing, the September wind blowing rapidly against the dark abyss.

   “You see that. You took that away from me. You took my chance of getting a scholarship away! You put charges against me.” He was screaming into my ear. My upper body dangled from the rail, my feet too heavy to move. “You have no idea how much I loved you, baby.”

   Helpless, I lied. “I love you, too, Michael. If you let me up I’ll come back. I’ll leave Jace and come back.”

   He laughed. It was on the verge of hysteria. Grabbing my head, he twisted my face around until he could press his mouth against mine. I tasted my own blood mixed with his tongue. It was rough, his lips hard and cracked. I could barely breathe from the force of his mouth.

   “I’m so sorry, Aubrey. I love you so much. But, I can’t take him having you.”

   “No, no,” I screamed. He didn’t think twice before pushing me over the edge. My back hit the side of the bridge, and I cried out in pain. My feet were still hanging over the rail. I heard him grunting and then the wind whipped against me, the cement blocks sending me toward my death quicker than imaginable. The water had been so cold it knocked the breath out of me. Hard. Freezing. I couldn’t feel anything. That was the last thing I remembered.

   “The next thing I knew I was in the hospital. Jace had followed us and got there in time to save me.”

   I turn my head and glance at Tanner. His jaw is set tight, his gray eyes wide. “Aubrey, I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I can’t believe that happened to you.”

   Swallowing a lump in my throat, I attempt a smile. “It happened. I can’t change it.”

   Tanner turns toward me, sliding a finger against my cheek. “You’ll get through this.”

   “You will, too.” His fingers feel safe. Good. I want them all over me. “You think it gets better with time?”

   Tanner smiles. “Absolutely, darlin’.”

   A few minutes go by. I listen to the crickets sing. The night wind is cool and the blankets feel amazing over me. So does the warmth from Tanner’s body. God, I want him on me. Now. “Tanner?” I whisper.

   “Hmm?”

   “Is Amanda the reason you haven’t kissed me?”

   Shock rolls over his features. His eyes dart toward my lips, and his tongue dampens his own. “No.”

   Furrowing my brow, I jerk my head back as if I’ve been slapped. “I’m sorry—I thought you—”

   “I do. I like you. A lot. I’ve wanted to touch you everywhere from the first time I laid eyes on you. I just didn’t want to push you. I wanted to make sure you were into me first, darlin’.” Not into you? Who in their right mind wouldn’t be? “You did slap me pretty good. Even though it turned me on.”