Jaci Burton - Straddling the Line

That was the big question. He already knew the answer. “Yes. I want to fix it. But I hurt her.”

“Guys do that. Because we’re thoughtless assholes,” Drew said.

Carolina nodded. “This is true.”

Drew laughed. “We think with the wrong head all the time, and we hurt the people we love the most.” He picked up Carolina’s hand and pressed a kiss to it. “Fortunately, the women we love tend to be the most forgiving.”

Carolina smiled at Drew, then turned to Trevor. “What Drew’s trying to tell you, Trevor, is that whatever you’ve done, ask for forgiveness. That’s the first step. And be honest and open about your feelings.”

Something he’d never done before. He hadn’t been honest about anything. “You’re right. I have a lot to talk to her about. And she has a lot to forgive. I don’t know if she will.”

“If she loves you, she will,” Garrett said. “And if she’s worth it, she’s worth getting down on your knees and begging.”

“Awww, begging?” Alicia asked.

“Yeah.” Garrett looked at him. “Love’s worth it, man. I never thought it was, until I met the right woman. But trust me, it really is worth it.”

Trevor looked at Garrett. At Drew. At Gray. His friends, who not so long ago had sworn to him that being single and carefree was the most important thing in their lives. Now, they sat with the loves of their lives at their sides.

And they were happy.

Could he hope to have that kind of happiness?

He loved Haven. He was almost afraid to hope. He didn’t deserve it, not after what he’d done.

He had a lot of work ahead of him.

HAVEN KNEW SHE WAS TAKING A RISK SITTING INSIDE Trevor’s house in Tampa. But she’d forgotten to leave her key, and she knew he was due home today.

So here she was, with all her books and notes and the research she’d done spread out on his table.

He could try to throw her out, but this time, she was going to put up a fight.

And even if he insisted she leave—which he certainly could, because this was his house—she was going to leave the material for him to look over. It could help him, and that was the only thing she wanted.

No, that wasn’t true. She wanted him, missed him, loved him. But if he rejected her, then she wanted him to be happy.

She heard the garage door open and her chest squeezed tight. He’d know someone was at the house, because her rental car was parked in the driveway.

“Hello?” he said as he opened the door from the garage.

She stood. “It’s me, Trevor.”

He came in and laid his practice bag down. “Haven.”

She was practically shaking, her nerves getting the best of her as she made her way toward him. “I still have a key.” She held it out for him.

He ignored her outstretched hand. “What are you doing here?”

“I’d like to talk to you.”

He cocked his head to the side. “I wanted to talk to you, too. I actually sent you a text message today asking where you were.”

“You did?” She’d been busy all day making notes and writing out plans and hadn’t checked her phone.

“Yeah. I was going to ask if you’d come out here and meet me.”

Encouraged, she curved her lips into a half smile. “Well, it’s fortunate that I’m here.”

“You didn’t tell me why you came.”

“Oh, that.” She scratched the side of her nose, nervous now that the ball was in her court. “I brought some things with me. I don’t want you to get mad.”

“I’m not mad, Haven. Show me what you brought.”

She led him over to the dining room table. “As you know, I have dual degrees. One is in journalism, the other in special education. I spent some time working with students with learning disabilities.”

He stared down at the table. “So what is all this . . . stuff?”

She lifted her gaze to his. “It’s an assessment. And with your permission, I’d like to do an assessment on you. I’m not a professional, Trevor. Not even close to it. But I did plenty of these during my internship, and I know how to assess learning disabilities like dyslexia. I know you can read.”

Trevor sucked in a breath. “I can read, Haven. Sort of. I can’t read well. I get mixed up. It frustrates me.”

“Okay. So let me do this assessment and let’s see where you stand. I really think I can help you, or at least guide you to the right resources and people who can help you.”

He sat down at the table. She sat in the chair next to him and waited for him to gather his thoughts. The one thing she’d learned was patience. This had to come when he was ready.

Finally, he started. “My dad was illiterate. He couldn’t read at all. He worked as a laborer. My mom tried to help him, but she didn’t know about it until much later in their marriage, because he hid it from her. When she tried to help him, or encourage him to finish school, he got angry.” He looked out the door toward the deck. “He was always angry. At her, and at me. He’d lash out at us all the time.”

“Did he hit you?”

“No. It was always verbal. But it was loud and all the damn time.”

“You had no escape.”

Trevor shook his head. “I hung out there in the living room watching TV with my mom, listening to the old man rant and rave. And with every beer, he’d get louder and louder. He was just an unhappy son of a bitch, and took it out on us.

“She finally couldn’t take his outbursts and she left. It was rough for a while. She had to work two jobs to make ends meet until she met my stepdad. Then things got better.”

“Did you ever see him after that?”

“No. He didn’t want to be around me, I guess. Or whatever. I have no idea what happened to him. I can’t say I missed him all that much, and when my mom remarried, my stepdad was a much nicer guy. But then I realized I couldn’t read, and I felt like I was going to turn out just like my dad.”

Haven felt such sympathy for what Trevor had gone through. “Because you got frustrated and angry, too.”

“Yeah. So I hid it from everyone. I was determined not to turn out like my old man. I never wanted anyone to know. I could fake it pretty easy. And I had the charm thing going, you know? I was nice enough and I could read just enough to get by.”

“It must have been so frightening for you to try to hide this secret all these years. No one knew?”

“My brother did. He helped me out with homework. God, he’s so fucking smart. I’d have never made it without him. And my mom would try to help, but she didn’t know the extent of what was wrong with me. She’d already gone through so much with my dad. I didn’t want her to have to deal with my shit, too.”

She laid her hand over his. “Trevor. Nothing is wrong with you. If my guess is correct, your brain is just wired differently and you have to learn to use that difference in how you read and comprehend. There’s nothing wrong with you. Understand?”

He shrugged. “So what are these tests?”

“There are several evaluations of comprehension, along with family history, that’ll help me determine what might possibly be hindering your ability to read at an appropriate level.”

He got up, went into the kitchen, and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “Do you want one?”

“Sure.”

He handed one to her, then opened his and took a long swallow. “Okay, then. Let’s get started.”

TREVOR COULDN’T RECALL EVER TAKING MORE TESTS than the ones Haven had given him. First they’d gone over his history, including familial history, health history, and school history. He’d been honest with her—hell, more honest with her than he’d ever been with anyone before.

Then there’d been the testing. Reading comprehension, vocabulary, verbal reasoning and spelling, math, and several other tests. He was sure he’d failed them all, because that was what tests brought to mind. Sweat. Fear. Failure.

Tests had always equaled failure. But this time, he wasn’t going to be able to charm or bullshit his way out of them. He was as honest as he could be with his answers. And there were a lot of things he just couldn’t get through. But Haven was patient with him, and didn’t once look at him like he was stupid.

After they were finished, he’d gone out and gotten them something to eat while Haven worked on evaluating the tests. She’d taken a break to eat with him, then gone back to the evaluation, while he’d watched some TV, but he wasn’t really concentrating. He probably wouldn’t until he’d gotten the verdict.

Though he already knew the verdict, didn’t he? He was a failure. He was stupid.

Nothing he didn’t already know, right?

And the two of them still hadn’t reconnected on a personal level, so there was a wall between them that needed to be scaled. He hadn’t figured out how he was going to start that conversation.

One thing at a time, right?

“Trevor.”

He turned off the TV and came over to the dining room. “Yeah.”

“Sit down.”

He swallowed, hard, and took a seat, feeling as nervous as he always had every time he’d taken a test.

“I’ve gone over your tests, and I’m going to tell you again I don’t do this for a living, so it’s not a professional evaluation.”

“Okay. Just tell me.”

“This is going to be somewhat detailed, so bear with me. It’s important to give you a comprehensive overview, so you understand what you’re dealing with.”

“Okay.”

She went over every test with him, showing him where he’d done well and where he hadn’t. She was thorough and took her time, making sure he understood what she was talking about. She didn’t speed through it, and he made sure he stopped her if something didn’t make sense. She was also honest—brutally so—and he appreciated it. This was what he’d dreaded for so many years, but also what he’d desperately needed.