Chapter 25

Madison

I started going to regular AA meetings again.  J insisted, but I had already decided it would be an important part of my life from now on.  I think I had fooled myself into believing I was better than everyone at those meetings; that somehow I didn’t really need to be there.

It was now a month after my relapse and things between J and I were good.  I was worried though; there was something bothering him and he wasn’t talking to me about it.  We’d had the discussion about his refusal to share club business with me, and he had been sharing more with me since.  Even though I sensed he still didn’t tell me a lot, I knew he was trying, and that was all I could ask for.  Strong relationships weren’t built quickly; I knew this would take a lot of work, so I was being patient.  And yet, I felt it in my gut that something wasn’t quite right with him.

The club still hadn’t found Mandy, so I guessed that he was stressed about that.  I’d brushed my concerns away for a few weeks now, but this week he seemed even more preoccupied with whatever it was.  He was being elusive, and there also seemed to be some tension between him and Scott.

It all came to a head on the Friday afternoon of that week.  I was waiting for J at the clubhouse when Griff wandered into the bar and locked eyes on me.  Now, here was a man who I wasn’t quite sure what to make of.  He had been a member of Storm for about three years and I still knew nothing about him except that he liked to keep to himself.  If I had to choose one word to describe him it would be broody.  I took in his appearance.  He was tall with dark hair that was a little long, kind of like he just needed a good haircut, but the ruggedness of it did it for me.  He also always wore a five o’clock shadow; another great feature as far as I was concerned.  I liked a man who wasn’t perfect looking and he definitely fit the bill.  Griff was one of the only bikers I knew who wasn’t covered in tattoos; well, tattoos that could be seen anyway.  His tanned skin was clear of them on his arms, neck and hands.  I had no idea if he had any on his legs as I had never seen them.

His green eyes penetrated mine, and I felt a little disloyal to J with the sensations he evoked in me.  His voice was deep and commanding when he spoke, “Scott wants to see you in the office.”

“And why couldn’t Scott come and see me?” I asked.

“In the office now, Madison,” his voice rumbled, and his hand slid around my back to guide me in the direction he wanted me to go.

I wanted to argue with him, but something about Griff told me not to bother.  If it was at all possible, he seemed bossier than J, with an air about him that screamed not to challenge him.  So, I did what I was told and went to see Scott, with Griff close behind.

Scott was sitting at my father’s desk when we found him, and he looked up with a frustrated look on his face.  Putting his pen down he motioned for me to sit.  Griff closed the door behind us and stood next to my chair.  My senses were going into overdrive; something wasn’t right here.

Scott finally spoke, “Are you up on what J’s been doing this week?”

“I’ve got no idea what J does with his time when he is not with me,” I answered truthfully.

“Fuck,” Scott cursed and shot a look at Griff, who nodded and then exited the room.

Okay, now I was really fucking confused.  “What is going on, Scott?”

He sighed and then gave me a hard look, like he was contemplating just how much to share with me.  “I was hoping you could tell us because we sure as fuck don’t know what he is doing.”

“Spit the rest out, Scott.  What are you hiding from me?”

“Shit, Madison, this is club business,” he snapped, and paused for a moment, rubbing his chin and scowling at me before continuing, “We’re pretty sure he’s still out there looking for Mandy even though we’ve told him to stop.  Problem is, it’s bringing heat to the club because that bitch is tied to a gang who don’t much appreciate the way J is going about it.  Seems he is harassing their members for information.”

I decided it was time to back my man.  “Why isn’t the club interested in finding her and dealing with her?  That bitch threatened me.”

“Again, club fucking business, but seems as though I know you won’t let this go... she’s dating one of the head guys of the gang.  We take her out, and who fucking knows what will come of it.  They don’t mess around, and we don’t need a war.  J needs to be smart about this, but I think his head is all messed up with you.”

“So you’re happy to leave me a sitting target.”

“No.  We’re watching you when J’s not with you, making sure you’re okay - ”

I cut him off.  “This sounds very fucking familiar, Scott.  Reminiscent of what happened with Nix.  Only this time, I’m not going to lay down and wait for her to come to me,” I ranted at him before storming out of the office.

As I was leaving, I ran into my father.  He looked tired, and there was something else there that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

“I heard your argument with Scott.  There’s more to this that you don’t know, and I’m asking you to leave it be.  And get J to leave it alone too.”  His words held a warning.  I searched his eyes, his face, and then I realised what other emotion he was running on.  Fear.

“What is it?”I asked, even though I was fairly sure he wouldn’t tell me.

“Not going there with you, Madison.  But leave it the fuck alone,” he ordered harshly.

His words stung; I hated it when he spoke to me like that.  I met his glare.  “Sometimes, I fucking hate this club, and your bullshit ways of hiding stuff,” I spat.

He opened his mouth to say something, but my mother caught both our eyes, and he went quiet.  I was stunned at her appearance.  She had been crying, and her face was stained with black mascara.  There was a red mark on her cheek; it looked like she had been slapped.  She had entered the room we were in, but when she saw us, she went to leave.

Christ, what was wrong with her?  My mother never cried.  And then, looking from her to my father, and noting the displeasure that crossed both their faces, I realised what was going on.  Clarity hit me fair in the gut, and shock sliced through my heart.

I whipped my head around to face him.  “You fucking hit her?” I almost screamed.

He shoved his face in mine, and snarled, “I said, leave it fucking be.”  And with that, he left me standing there, wondering what the fuck was going on, and feeling like our lives were about to be tipped on their asses.

J.

I needed J.  He wanted to be my go to person, and right now, I needed him to be that.

Chapter 26

Madison

“Hey, babe.  What’s up?” J answered his phone straight away.

Thank fuck.

“I need you, now.”

He must have sensed the urgency in my voice.  “What’s wrong?” It was like he was on instant alert.

“Something’s happened.  Between my Mum and Dad.  It’s bad, babe.  Are you close to the club?”

“Fuck!” he swore.  “I’m about ten minutes away.  Sit tight, I won’t be long.”

“Okay. Thanks, baby.”

We hung up, and I threw my phone in my bag.  My mother had left without saying anything to me, and there was no way I was staying inside with my father still there, so I was now waiting outside for J.

He must have sped the rest of the way here, because he arrived within five minutes.  When he went to cut the engine, I shook my head and indicated that I wanted to leave on his bike.  I couldn’t get out of here fast enough.

I hopped on, and wrapped my arms around his body, nestling my head against his back.  He made me feel safe, and in that instant, my heart expanded with love for him.  Over the past few months, we had been navigating the hills and valleys of our relationship.  Some of those roads had been rocky, and we had clung to each other.  I knew in my gut, that we were about to hit a really fucking rugged valley, and that the only way through would be to hold onto J for dear life.

* * *

“Scott’s shitty with you, and wants to know what you’ve been up to this week.  And my father told me to leave it alone and to get you to do the same.  What’s going on, J?” We’d made it home, and I was now determined to get him to open up to me.

He ran his fingers through his hair, and looked pained.  “Babe, this is stuff I don’t want you mixed up in; stuff I don’t want you worrying about.”

“No.  We’re together.  For the long haul, as you once put it.  And I want to have your back, J.  So, for me to do that, you’ve gotta start talking.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, and began pacing.

I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue.  When he finally did start talking, he blew my world apart.

“I don’t want to tell you this.  Fuck.”  He sat on the couch, pulling me down with him.  One hand grasped mine, and the other cupped my cheek.  His thumb grazed my lips, and then finally, he spoke.  “Mandy is running with a gang that is involved in drugs, prostitution and armed robberies.  There could be other stuff, but that’s what I know of so far.  They are the kind of motherfuckers you don’t mess with, but she’s in deep.  She’s been dating their leader, Blade, for the past year or so.  He runs a very smart operation and has been building his ranks up for a few years now.  They are big enough now that no one really wants to challenge them.  Even Black Deeds leave them alone.”

He paused, so I said, “I got the impression from Scott and Dad that they don’t want to either, and I find that hard to believe.  Storm is strong enough to do it.”