Kerry Heavens - Still Human

“I can’t help it,,” I reply, kissing her neck and pushing my erection against her again. “You do this to me. I’m trying to be good…but now you’re just teasing me, rubbing back and forth.”

“You are insatiable! I’m just washing.”

“You know what you’re doing.” I laugh, turning her around and hitching up her leg, so that she is still standing on her good foot. She gives me an innocent look, so I push her back against the wall. She gasps at the cold tiles against her back, but I give her no time to think as I push myself into her, hard.

“Oh God!” she moans.

She knew what she was doing, she is so wet. So I give her what she so obviously wanted. I have her lifted slightly so that her foot is only just on the floor as I slam into her. Her arms wrap around my neck and her fingers grasp my hair as she desperately tries to gain some leverage, but I stay in control and don’t let up for a second. This is going to be really fast.

I’m aware of my own moans mingled with hers as our mouths fight to connect, but I’m going too hard to keep her lips on mine for long. The water rushes between us, heating us up as I struggle to hold back.

Liv’s cries are increasing, she is pushing away from the wall to meet me, grinding as she does. I feel like I can’t fight it any longer, so when she says, “That’s it, fuck me,” through gritted teeth, I immediately start to come. I cry out and thrust through the intense orgasm, as hard as I can, wanting to take her all the way too. She digs her nails into my back and moans, then I feel it. That welcome grasping of her insides as they come crashing in around me. We moan and pant, I don’t think we’ve ever been so loud.

I laugh, capturing her lips and kissing her deeply. I slowly withdraw and lower her foot back to the floor; I love the fact that I still can’t let her go. I never want to let her go. I hold her close and feel her chest rising and falling rapidly.

“You okay?”

She exhales a shuddery breath. “I’m fucked!” She laughs.

“You know, I was thinking,” Danny says from the doorway of the bathroom as I pull on my jeans in the bedroom. “You should really have a bath.”

I sniff my armpit sarcastically. “I just had a shower, what are you saying?” I laugh.

Danny laughs too, wrapping his arms around the bare skin across my stomach. “I mean, we should have a bath, not just a shower.” He pauses, I notice a faraway look in his eyes. “You’ve really needed one all this time you were getting better.” He frowns, like he has somehow failed me, by not providing me with this essential thing during my recovery. A recovery, he was forcibly absent for much of. The thought of our break-up still puts a dark cloud over me and I fight to shake it off before he notices.

“I assume a bath wouldn’t fit, that’s why Connie never put one in.” I shrug. “I’m used to it.”

Danny glances back at the bathroom. “Would you let me look into it?” he asks. He seems twitchy about something, I can’t see why having a bath is suddenly all important. But I do like the idea of him putting some of himself into the flat. More and more it’s becoming ‘our’ home, so if he wants a bath, I wouldn’t dream of stopping him. A smile plays on his lips for a second and then his attention comes back to me, waiting for an answer.

“Sure.” I shrug again. “If you think it can be done, I would love to soak in a bath with you.” I twist in his arms and sigh with pleasure as his lips play on my neck.

Danny looks happy when I see him at his laptop in the garden later, content is probably a better description and he should be. I’ve come on nicely in the few weeks since I had the screw removed and things have settled down generally. He doesn’t seem to have any regrets about moving here and while I know he misses Jen especially, he is making a special effort to stay in touch and he’s really close to some of his new friends here. I occasionally marvel at how normal life is recently. After all the ups and downs of the last few months, it has taken no time at all for us to find a rhythm that suits us. We are better than ever now that we both know what went through the other’s heads all those years ago. I know for sure now that he did love me as much as I loved him and the value of knowing that is immense, almost worth the heartbreak and all those years apart. Without it we wouldn’t have what we have now.

I instinctively thumb across my ring. Looking at it, I smile. I have him, this is all I need in life. Well, almost. Before this all started to go wrong, he wanted to start a family. I wonder where he stands on that now? It’s as if he never said it. Maybe so much has happened that he has reconsidered? My stomach tightens. I guess I’m not okay with that possibility. I just don’t want to disrupt anything by bringing it up. I know that he wants to be with me forever, but as far as his thoughts on babies...and marriage, which I can hardly even dare to think about…I’m clueless.

I shake my head. I should be happy with what I have, God knows it was hard won. I turn back inside and force myself to get back to work. We will talk about it when he’s ready, I shouldn’t push things. I potter in the kitchen, humming along to the radio. This is okay. A happy, quiet life.

Danny makes me jump, slipping his arm around my waist and pressing his lips to the back of my neck. “I’ve to go out,” he murmurs against my skin.

“Okay,” I reply, sighing into his warmth. Then he withdraws quickly and I sag with disappointment.

“I won’t be long,” he says as he hurries away.

I wonder why he looks so pleased with himself.

A couple of hours later he’s back carrying bags from the supermarket. He holds them up for me to see, so that I understand he’s cooking me dinner and I smile. ‘Seven,’ he mouths to me as I hand some change to my customer. I smile and nod, then he disappears up to the flat.

I waste no time following him up there when the evening staff arrive at six and the aroma of garlic finds me halfway up the stairs. I find Danny in the kitchen listening to music and cooking as he so often is these days. We eat downstairs during the day, but in the evenings now, more often than not he cooks. Sometimes I beat him to it, but he loves it and I’ve no complaints. I know before I peer over his shoulder that we are having his legendary spaghetti and meatballs and as he turns to kiss me I notice the bottle of wine open beside him. I smirk, he is either trying to get me drunk, or force us to be more grown up so that we don’t embarrass ourselves in restaurants.

“It smells yummy.”

“Like you.” He grins, wrapping his arms around me.

“Me? I smell like stale coffee. I’m going to have a shower before dinner,” I say, stepping away.

“I’ll be right there,” he says, turning down the stove.

“I think I can manage.” I reply without thinking, I’m doing fine now, so a shower shouldn’t be that unmanageable. His face falls, like he is thinking the time has finally come that I don’t need him anymore, just like he said it would. My heart melts for him. “But I don’t want to chance it, are you sure you don’t mind?”

His spirits lift straight away and he follows me into the bathroom.

“You can wipe that glum expression off your face. I still need you,” I tease as he helps me step into the shower. “And even if I don’t, I WANT you, which should count for more.”

“I know,” he sighs, holding me tight under the stream of water.

When I come out of the bedroom all dressed in my favourite chilling clothes, my black trackies and Danny’s Guns ’n’ Roses t-shirt, Danny is setting the table wearing only his grey sweats. I stop dead and watch him leaning across the table. Oh. My. God! I don’t know what makes me weakest, the tattoos, the abs, his golden skin, the way his trousers hang low on his hips…it all does me in. Those grey sweats are such a turn on, he knows that. In fact I think he puts them on to guarantee he gets lucky. Although it’s me that’s lucky and I’m lucky pretty much every day!

I approach him quietly and when he stands up straight, he presses into me. He tenses for a split second, surprised that I’m behind him, but he instantly relaxes as I run my fingers around his sides and over his abs. I kiss his bare shoulder then run my tongue up his neck to the place behind his ear that always makes him shiver. I smile when a sigh accompanies the ripple from his skin and he tilts his head, willing me to continue. So I spend some time on that sweet spot he loves.

“Was it the pants again?” he breathes.

“It’s everything.” I sigh against his skin.

He twists in my embrace and catches my face in his hands, staring into my eyes. “I love everything about you too.” He grins and then kisses me tenderly, leaving me grateful he is holding me up.

“I want you,” I whisper.

He laughs. “You can have me later. It’s dinner time,” he says and smacks my bum as he goes back into the kitchen, picking up his t-shirt from the back of the chair and slipping it over his head as he goes.

I slump. “How do you have so much self-restraint?”

“I just know you’re worth the wait,” he calls.

I shake my head, following him to collect the wine and some glasses.

Danny turns to face me holding our steaming bowls of pasta and stops.

“What?” I say.

He shakes his head. “Nothing.” He heads to the table.

“No, what?”

As soon as he’s put our food down he turns to face me, catching both my wrists in his hands. He holds them tight and leans forward until our faces are almost touching, holding my gaze for a moment before leaning in to kiss me. I inhale through my nose as the kiss deepens and sigh when he pulls away.