“I’m fine.”

“You were admitted.”

“Somebody had to be. For the records. Otherwise they have to report a gunshot wound, even in the hand. Nobody wants that.”

I inspected his face for a second.

“What is it, Contessa?”

“You took him to the hospital?”

“To a doctor I know at the hospital. We have people for emergencies.”

My face got hot again. I felt my nose tingle and my eyes moisten. “You didn’t kill him?”

“No.”

A breath whooshed out of my mouth, and I cried with a smile. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to see you again. I didn’t mean—” I was lost in tears.

“He’s ambitious, and he saw an opening. What he did is past forgiving, but I kept seeing your face.” He looked away and set his jaw. “If he comes near you again, I will kill him.”

He held my chin in those powerful hands and tilted my face up. Our mouths crashed together. Our arms twined around each other, seeking purchase, finding it, an moving again.

He brought his lips to my ear and whispered, “When you left my office, I thought I’d never see you again, and it made me crazy. I was so angry at myself, I did stupid things it’ll take years to fix. God forgive me.”

I held him, kissing his neck and cheek with all the tenderness and forgiveness I could manage. It wasn’t enough, not by a lot, but it was all I had. I wanted his skin against mine. I pulled my shirt off and twisted out of my bra.

Looking down, he touched my nipples with the backs of his fingers. “This is wrong. We’re wrong. You and I. One of us is going to get the other one killed.”

“I think about you all the time.”

“I can’t let you into my world. It won’t work. They’ll rip you to shreds.”

“I touch myself thinking of you.”

“I’ve done things I can never talk about. Even knowing what they are could hurt you.”

I slid off the dresser and took his hands. “Come with me.” I led him to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I wiggled out of my pants then reached for his waistband.

“This doesn’t fix anything,” he said.

“There’s nothing to fix.” I unfastened his trousers, and they dropped to the floor. I reached into his underwear and got out his cock. “This works.”

“It’s for fucking you.”

I snapped the shower door open. “Never stop putting that cock in me.”

He kissed me hard, pushing my head against the wall. “God help me. You make me crazy. We can’t be together, but you’re all I think about. Making you mine completely.”

“I’ll be yours. Let me be,” I said.

“You’ll be destroyed, Contessa. Peacetime is over. If anything happened to you—”

“We won’t tell anyone. I’ll be your secret, and you’ll be mine. We’ll meet in the night, when no one can see.”

“It’s too late for that.”

“No, we’ll say it’s over. It’s that, or nothing. If never seeing me again works for you, then go. I won’t chase you again.”

“Promise?” he asked.

His body relaxed, and I thought he was really going to go. It seemed impossible that his body wouldn’t be pressed on mine, but it was his choice to make.

“I promise. I have the will to do it.”

He put his nose to mine, his eyes scanning my face, then dropped his gaze. “I believe you.” He kissed me, and the rigid pressure of his body returned. “You have the will, but I don’t. I have to have you. Tonight and after, you’re mine. Your first loyalty is to me. Every moan on your lips. Every wet drop from your cunt. When the thought of fucking crosses your mind, it’s mine. Say it.”

“I’m yours, Capo.”

“No more halfway bullshit.”

I swallowed nervously, because I didn’t want to test our resolve or find out his desire truly was halfway, but I wanted to surrender completely to our pledge.

“I want your skin on my skin.” I hated to bring it up, but it was my last chance. “After I found out Daniel cheated on me, I got tested for everything. I’m clean. And I left the IUD in.”

He smiled, and my heart opened. “I’m a condom guy.”

“Every time?”

“Of course.”

“No halfway bullshit, then.”

I got into the shower. He peeled off his underwear and joined me.

The water was hot and powerful. He leaned his head back and let it fall over his face in rivulets. The water darkened his lashes, making them stick together. I rolled the rectangle of soap in my hands then put them on his neck, running soap over the curves of his body. Shoulders, biceps, forearms, the space of his chest under the gold chain with the circle charm. He enfolded my hands in his, transferring the soap.

“What’s this?” I asked, touching the gold medal.

“Saint Christopher. Patron saint of protection.”

“Does it work?” I kissed it and the skin around it.

“Am I dead?”

I took his cock in my hand. “Apparently not.”

Turning me, he put his hands between my shoulders, my ass, the backs of my thighs, then up the crack, massaging my pussy with his finger and my ass with his thumb. I picked up my leg and rested it on the ledge so he could get his fingers farther into me.

“Oh God, Antonio. I’ve wanted you for days.”

“I’m going to fuck you so hard, little princess. I’m going to break you in two.”

I twisted to face him.“Do it. Take me hard.”

He looped his arm under my knee, pulling it up. The skin of his dick was so smooth on my pussy, he stretched and slid into me. He had to thrust twice more to get all the way in, hitching up my leg. He was so rough that I had no choice but to be a doll in his hands.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he said, pressing his thumb to my ass.

“Hard, please, Capo. Take me hard.”

“Have you ever been fucked in the ass, little princess?”

“No.”

“I’m taking your ass, right here.” He grabbed my conditioner and squeezed the cold, viscous liquid down my crack. “Are you ready?”

“I don’t know.” I was nervous and admittedly aroused.

He fucked my pussy hard and wedged his fingers in my ass. “Your little ass is so tight. It’s so sweet.”

His fingers sliding in and out of me, stretching me, opened up new pleasure. “Oh, that feels so good.”

He took his dick out of me and lodged it at my pucker. “You ready for me to fuck your ass?”

“Yes.”

“Relax.”

I tried to relax as he pushed forward. I had to brace against the tile, and he couldn’t get in.

He reached around and put four fingers on my clit and his lips on the back of my neck. “Relax, sweet girl. Let me take you. Let me own you.”

I groaned with the rising warmth under his fingers and relaxed. The head of his cock slid into me, and the invasion made me tense. I gasped.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” He put his other arm tight around me and grabbed my breast. I felt bound and secure, unable to do anything but let go. “This ass was made for me.”

He jammed forward, and I screamed, getting hot shower water in my mouth.

“What do you want, Contessa?”

He was asking if I was all right, and he waited for me to answer before he moved again. I needed a moment to breathe and took it. I shifted my hips until I felt better.

“I want you,” I said. “I want you to fuck my virgin ass so hard.”

He gripped me harder and pulled his dick out. The pleasure was overwhelming, reaching right to my clit, where his hand still gripped me.

“Take it,” he growled in my ear as he slammed into me again.

“Oh, God. Fuck me in the ass.”

“I love it. I love fucking your ass.”

He pumped hard, rubbing my clit and stretching my ass farther than I thought possible. I kept whispering take me take me as the feeling of an impending explosion built. I went far away in my mind, past words, past thoughts, pain, pleasure. I was only his fingers and his cock, knowing me in a way I’d never been known before.

“You’re going to come,” he said. “I can feel it.”

I grunted. The fuse sparked close to the keg, crackling and bright.

“Come on. Give it to me.”

My ass clenched and pulsed around him, and my legs dropped under me. He held me up as I had the most powerful orgasm of my life, a slow motion detonation, every piece of flak airborne in its own sweet time, trailing smoke behind. I didn’t realize I was screaming until the last bits of fiery shrapnel floated to the ground, as if I’d been unconscious. I woke to Antonio thrusting hard, slow, with a different rhythm.

“…in your ass, Contessa, si, si, si…” he whispered in Italian, sweet words I didn’t understand.

“Come, Capo. Come inside me.”

His groan was loud and final. A few more thrusts, and he molded his chest to my back, our rising and falling bodies matched in time.

“Bene.”

He kissed my shoulder. He pulled his dick from me, and I sucked in a breath.

“Bene is right,” I said.

He stood up straight, and I turned around.

“Now we should shower, no?”

I laughed, and his smile lit up the room. We washed and toweled each other dry.

“Can you stay for a few hours?” I asked. “You can still slip out in the night.”

“I have to take care of Uvoli, still. There are consequences to what happened with you and Bruno, and me. I have to talk with people.” He reached for his clothes.

“I thought I saw him at Zia’s."

"It's complex," he said. "But I can't go backward with him. He has it in his mind you mean something to me."

"He's wrong." I snapped his jacket away. It had his burned pine smell all over it. “Let me keep this. To remember you when you’re pretending you don’t own me.”