Danielle Steel - Southern Lights

“Do you regret it, Mother?” he asked her honestly. He had never dared to ask her before. She hesitated before she answered, sitting in her rocking chair with a shawl over her lap, and looking very old and fragile. He knew she was less frail than she appeared, and strong as iron in her will and opinions.

“Sometimes. It depends how Alexa’s life has turned out. If she’s happy, I suppose it was all right. I don’t know,” she said, looking distressed. “I didn’t want Daisy to be illegitimate, and Luisa was putting a lot of pressure on me then too, but I was younger then.” He had fallen right into Luisa and his mother’s trap for him. She had seduced him and gotten pregnant all in the same night, although he had been courting her secretly for several weeks and would have gotten there on his own. He had never gotten over Luisa leaving him for someone else, it had gnawed at him for all those years. He loved Alexa, but Luisa had been more powerful and more glamorous, and more southern. Alexa had been kind and open and naïve and loving, and trusted him completely. He still felt sick when he thought about it. “Is she happy?” his mother asked him then, and he sighed.

“I don’t think so. I’ve never seen such sad eyes. She’s alone with Savannah, and there’s no one in her life. She’s a wonderful mother.”

“Well, you can’t go back to her now and leave Luisa because Alexa is alone.” She looked panicked at the thought. “I don’t think she’d have me, and she’s right,” he said sadly. The idea had crossed his mind.

“She probably is,” his mother agreed, which shocked him. “If you loved her, you never should have left her for Luisa, no matter what I said. You went right back to her like a little lamb, and sent Alexa to New York.” He nodded. It was true. He had wanted Luisa back, to prove a point, but he loved Alexa. What he didn’t want was the life he had now, with a woman he hated, who hated him more. He had gotten what he deserved in spades, and knew it. “I just want Luisa to stop calling me about Savannah. She needs to be decent to her. She owes Alexa that. She took care of Luisa’s boys.”

“I’ve told her that. She doesn’t want to hear it.”

“She told me Savannah is a brat. She’s no brat, she’s a lovely girl. She came here all on her own, to see me. She said she’d come to visit again. I hope she does.”

“I’m sure she will,” he said kindly. Savannah was that kind of girl, to visit old ladies and keep them company. She had a warm heart. And both her father and grandmother knew it. So did Daisy, and her brothers. Only Luisa didn’t care. She had no heart at all. She had manipulated him to recoup him, and had tortured him ever since.

“I’m glad someone in this family wants to know our history. Luisa isn’t interested. She has her own. She has as many generals in her family as we do,” Eugenie said, looking miffed, and Tom fought not to laugh. His mother took those things very seriously, and always had. Even he had a little trouble with it sometimes. There were too many generals to count. And hearing about the battles and Confederate bravery and victories had bored him all his life. He was no history buff. His mother was.

Tom left his mother after that, and thanked Savannah that night for visiting her, and said that her grandmother had loved it and hoped she’d come back soon. Luisa overheard and snapped at them that Savannah shouldn’t disturb her, she was too delicate and old. Tom turned on her instantly and told her he wanted Savannah to visit his mother. Luisa sniffed and said not another word. When she had spoken to her that afternoon, her mother-in-law had said the same. The tides had turned, and Luisa didn’t like it one bit.

Savannah had told her mother about the visit, and the history lesson, and about Henry and his partner Jeff. She kept her abreast of the local news in their daily calls.

Her mother said she wasn’t surprised about Henry. He was never interested in girls once he hit puberty, although he was young then, only fourteen. She had had a question in her mind once or twice, but never dared broach it with Tom. He was so closed on the subject, and Savannah said he still was, they all were. She said that Luisa, his own mother, pretended Henry wasn’t gay. Alexa said she hoped he was happy, and would love to see him one of these days. She was coming back that weekend, and they were planning to stay at the Wentworth Mansion again. She’d made a reservation for the big suite.

“So am I going to meet that boy?” she asked about Turner, and Savannah grinned.

“Maybe. We’ll see. If he’s not busy. He has a game this weekend.”

“Maybe we can go. If you’re not ashamed of me.”

“You know I’m not. I’m really, really proud of you, Mom, and you know it.”

“I’m proud of you too, sweetheart,” her mother reassured her. And after they hung up, she went back to work with Sam and Jack Jones, and Savannah went to meet Turner for a walk before dinner, and a lot of kisses.

Daisy saw her come in afterward. She slipped in discreetly before dinner, and Daisy was on her way back from the kitchen with a snack.

“So?”

“So what?” Savannah asked innocently.

“Don’t give me that. I saw you leave with him. Is he cute? Did he kiss you?” Savannah decided to be honest with her little sister. She loved that idea, having a sister. And so did Daisy.

“He’s cute. And he kissed me.”

“Oh, yuk!!” Daisy said, running up the stairs. “How disgusting.” And then she leaned over the banister with another question. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“Nope.” Savannah shook her head, smiling. “Just a boy I like.”

“Too bad,” Daisy said, and scampered to her room, laughing all the way.

This time when Alexa came to Charleston to see Savannah for the weekend, everything felt more familiar and comfortable for her. She didn’t have to go through the shock of reentry into a world she had once known and loved and lost. The second time the Wentworth Mansion felt like home to both of them, and Alexa even managed to be pleasant to Tom when she saw him when he dropped Savannah off. Alexa had relaxed, and he could see it. It made him brave enough to ask her if she would have lunch with him. She didn’t want to, and she didn’t want to miss a minute with Savannah, but she didn’t want to be rude to him either. He had helped her out in a major way with Savannah, and even risked Luisa’s fury. Alexa hesitated before she answered, but when she saw Savannah’s eyes pleading with her, she finally nodded and agreed to lunch with him.

“Not long, though,” she cautioned. “I want time with Savannah. I’m here for her.”

“Of course.”

Alexa had the feeling that he wanted to bury the hatchet, somewhere other than in her back this time, or her heart. She wasn’t ready for it yet, but she could almost conceive of being friends with him someday, not close friends, but civil ones, like at Savannah’s wedding, or college graduation. She assumed he had the same goal in mind. The cold war between them had gone on long enough. She was slowly getting over it at last.

He suggested meeting her at Magnolias the next day, and Savannah said she could go to Turner’s soccer game while they had lunch. Everyone was happy, although Alexa would have been happier having lunch with her daughter, but she had agreed, and Savannah thanked her when they went upstairs to their suite. It was just as pretty this time, and the flowers in it were even bigger. And they each had a glass of champagne to celebrate their weekend. There were chocolate-covered strawberries that were delicious with the champagne. And they each had only one glass. Alexa didn’t like Savannah drinking, but once in a while, on a festive occasion, it was okay, and she didn’t drink much either. She was nervous about her lunch with Tom the next day. They weren’t friends, after all, at least not yet.

“Okay, so tell me about this boy you’re so crazy about. When am I going to meet him? How about after the soccer game? We could have coffee or something.”

Savannah hesitated and then nodded, looking embarrassed. “He’s nice, Mom. It’s not serious or anything. He’s captain of the soccer team and he’s hoping to go to Georgia Tech or SMU.”

“A nice southern boy,” her mother commented with a grin, but she wasn’t sarcastic about it, just amused. They hardly ever went north for school. She’d noticed it when she lived there too.

“He has three younger brothers, and he lost his mom last year.”

“I’m sorry,” Alexa said softly. “He’s nice to you? That’s all I care about. My only requirement is that he treats you well. How often do you see him?” She had lost track in the chaos of her life right now, getting ready for the trial.

“He’s nice to me,” Savannah reassured her. “I see him every day at school. Sometimes we have lunch in the cafeteria, and we go out a couple of times a week, for dinner and a movie.”

“Are you sleeping with him?” her mother asked her bluntly, and Savannah shook her head. It was too soon. “You’re still on the Pill?” Alexa confirmed, and Savannah smiled at her. She had lost her virginity at sixteen and her mother had made her peace with it. Alexa was realistic, and Savannah had only slept with one boy so far, but her mother wanted to be sure she was prepared if something happened here with Turner. “And condoms, please!” she reminded her. Savannah groaned and rolled her eyes.

“I know, I know. I’m not stupid. It’s too soon anyway. I hardly know him.” Still, she liked him a great deal. A great deal. And they were kissing more and more. Things were getting serious and heated.

“Well, just in case, be prepared. People get carried away sometimes. Not that I’d remember,” Alexa chuckled ruefully. She wouldn’t have time anyway. She hardly got time to go to the bathroom or sleep, she was working so hard on the upcoming trial.