Mingmei Yip - Song of the Silk Road

Several heads turned to watch us. Two teenage girls held hands and giggled.

Alex looked up at me. “Please come back as soon as you can. I’ll miss you.”

“I will.” But I really had no idea how much longer I needed to stay in China before I could go back.

And then they were gone.

When I finally arrived back in my little cottage, I plunged onto my bed and cried my heart out. Now it seemed that just as I’d finally found someone I truly cared for, he had slipped away from my grasp like fish through a torn net.

For several days I couldn’t focus and cried much of the time, missing Alex terribly. Then one day I walked two miles to the post office to call the U.S., but no matter how hard the operator tried, the phone line just refused to cross the Pacific Ocean to reach New York. Alex must be in a hospital, being treated with million-dollar equipment surrounded by renowned, white-coated doctors and waited on hand and foot by a procession of pretty, flirtatious, and suffocatingly nurturing nurses. I was very tempted to book a flight back to New York to smash the equipment, shove off the doctors, push away the nurses, and pull Alex into my arms.

But of course this was merely fantasy. My urgent task at the moment was to fly to Beijing to settle everything with Attorney Lo and Mindy Madison so I could collect the money. Laozi said, “More things are spoiled at the end than in the beginning,” so there was no room for more mistakes, let alone romantic distractions. I also told myself that I was worn down and needed to eat better, maybe slaughtering a fat chicken or gutting a fish to cook myself a delectable, nutritious meal.

After two more days’ rest, I finally felt ready for the grand finale of my journey while trying to ignore my heart’s longing for Alex. Deep down I feared that Donna could be right, that her son’s love for an older woman was just a moment’s infatuation.

It took me three whole days to organize myself to pack and be ready to leave—this time for good. Two days before, I went to Keku’s house to inform her of my departure.

“Aiiya.” She widened her eyes. “How come so fast?”

“Keku, I’ve been here for almost six months now. It really is time for me to go home.”

“Then when come back, soon?”

“Hmm… I’ll try.” In fact, I didn’t think I’d ever come back, but had no heart to say so to those longing eyes.

Just then Mito came in and tugged at my shirt, then extended his hands, his palms two miniature basins waiting to be filled. Smiling down at this child who seemed to have stepped right out of a fairy tale, I placed a bag of candies on one palm and a plastic car on the other. He shrieked with pleasure, popping a candy in his mouth with one hand while grasping his trophy with the other.

Keku looked at her son affectionately, then turned back to me. “Please come back and play more with Mito. He loves you.”

“I love Mito, too,” I said, then stooped to touch the child’s angelic face. “Mito, will you miss me?”

To my shock, he shook his head.

Keku immediately came to my rescue. “Miss Lin, remember, he doesn’t understand Chinese.” Then she translated for her son. After that, Mito nodded his head like a pestle pounding on a mortar.

I laughed.

A few seconds passed and Keku shot me a chiding glance. “Aiiya, Miss Lin, now you’ve spoiled rotten Mito. What am I going to do after you’ve left?”

I smiled. “Then spoil him more.”

“With what?”

I sighed. “Sorry, Keku, but I can’t stay here forever.”

“I know, I know. Aiiya, very lonely after you’ve gone.”

“Keku, you have your women friends.”

She leaned close to me. “Miss Lin, you spoil me rotten, too. You are so smart, so now I only like talk to you. They stupid, no interest.” She winked. “But don’t tell them!”

We both laughed.

The morning of departure, Keku and her husband, Abu, helped to load my belongings into the waiting taxi. Mito helped by just standing there hanging onto the hem of his mother’s dress and looking as cute as a little Buddha. Other villagers gathered around to watch. I thanked the Uyghur couple and Keku’s woman friends, hugged and kissed Mito, waved to all, then climbed inside the waiting vehicle.

The driver inserted the key into the ignition and the car started to move. Looking back at the tiny village and the waving crowd, I felt my heart swell with emotions so complicated that I had no words to describe them. This was the place I’d spent the most exciting, memorable months of my life. The place where I fell in love with a man eight years my junior and where we made love on the singing golden sand, silently watched and approved by heaven above and earth below. The place where I had created a little home for myself, where I learned about Lop Nor, a good man to whom bad things happened, where I befriended Keku and Mito, now almost like a sister and a nephew….

When the crowd was receding from my sight, suddenly I saw a small child push aside the others, run after the car, and cry hysterically.

I stuck my head out of the window, waving and screaming, “Mito! Mito!”

But the vehicle lunged forward like a leopard. Tears coursed down my cheeks as Mito, waving wildly, was lifted up by his father and everyone else vanished from sight like a mirage….

I wiped my tears as a sigh escaped between my lips. A few years from now this would all seem but a distant dream. Even if I did have the chance to come back, would these people still be here? As a young man, would Mito still remember the Chinese woman who’d doted on him like his own mother when he was a small child? I turned my eyes forward as I hardened my spirit for the journey ahead.

Since by now I’d become used to being on my own, I’d developed swift hands and a quick mind. So in the space of six hours, I accomplished all—taking the train to Urumqi, the plane to Beijing, and a taxi to the city; checking into a one-hundred-renminbi-a-day hotel near Wangfu Jing, which was situated pretty much at the center of everything; and settling into my room.

Sitting on the bed, I pulled out my wad of bills from my purse and counted—fifteen thousand and fifty-five plus change. I was happily relieved that I still had so much left. Now I felt entitled to watch TV, eat all my favorite dishes in the hotel restaurant, and lie in bed for one, or even two, days before I made an appointment with the lawyer Lo.

I went to the bathroom for a shower, humming happily when the hot water kissed my bare skin. After that, I wrapped my body in a thick towel, sat down on the sofa, and turned on the TV—a luxury I had been deprived of since my arrival in China (the one with the snowing screen didn’t count). Although a syrupy, tear-jerking soap opera was on, I ignored my brain’s better judgment and left my eyes glued to the screen till its very end.

Afterward, I hated myself for having wasted time.

As I was feeling anxious and lonely, Alex’s image appeared in my mind. Would I see him again soon, or not for a very long time? I had no idea. It all depended on how long, or complicated, my meetings with the lawyer and my aunt would be. I put on my dress, then went down to reception and asked the girl at the counter to dial Alex’s apartment in New York.

After many tries, she told me that there was no answer.

Then I remembered another number Alex had given me and handed it to the girl. But I had no idea if it was Donna’s or Frank’s where each lived with their new spouse.

After ten minutes, the call finally went through and the receptionist handed me the receiver.

“Hello?”

It was a woman’s voice, but to my relief not Donna’s. After I told her who I was and that I wanted to talk to Alex, she spoke in accented English. “Miss Lin, Alex’s parents asked me if you call, tell you not to worry about their son. He will be fine.”

“What do you mean that he will be fine? Is he still sick or not?”

“I don’t know.”

“All right, thanks. May I know whom I’m talking to?”

“Maria, the housekeeper.”

I knew it was futile to ask, but I did anyway. “Maria, where am I calling now?”

“Mrs. Donna Adler’s apartment.”

“Thanks. Is she there? Can I talk to her?”

“No, she’s away.”

I knew she was told not to give me more information about Alex. “All right, thanks a lot, Maria. If you have a chance to see Alex, please tell him I called and that I’ll contact him again. Also, tell him not to worry about me, I’m fine.”

“I will.”

After I hung up, I was left feeling uneasy. Was Alex OK? Maria was so evasive that I actually had no idea about his status. Back in my room, I wrote a letter to Alex, then went back down to the lobby and dropped it into the mailbox. I was worried but could think of nothing more I could do to reach him. So I tried to focus entirely on completing my tasks and getting my three million dollars.

* * *

The next morning, feeling tired and empty inside, I went down to the hotel restaurant and devoured a big breakfast of congee, pickled vegetables, salted egg, peanuts, steamed pork buns, and hot tea. After that, I went back to my room, took up my journal, and wrote for a while, then worked on organizing the pictures taken during the trip. I caressed Alex’s face and hair on the glossy photos, feeling sad. Then I lay back on the bed and drifted in and out of sleep.