M Leighton - Some Like It Wild

I take a deep breath and look at my beaming sister. “Wish me luck.”

Her eyes start to water when she responds. “You won’t need it. I’ve always believed you deserved all the happiness in the world, even when you didn’t.”

I pause on my way to the door, looking back at my sister. “Jenna, I . . .” I don’t even know what to say to her, how to explain what I’m feeling. “I love you.”

In all our years together, I’ve never told her that. I hope that she realizes the significance, even if she doesn’t fully understand it. I want her to know that she means a lot to me, whether I’ve ever shown it or not.

“I know,” she breathes, shakily. “I’m just glad you let go of whatever it was that’s been holding you back all these years. I won’t pretend to get it, but I’m glad you’re not hiding from it anymore. You deserve better than that.”

Impulsively, I walk back to her and kiss her cheek. “Now don’t say anything to embarrass me, and for the love of all that’s holy, watch your trashy mouth.”

Jenna sniffs loudly and tosses her hair over her shoulder. “I stop cussing for no one.” I give her my sternest look. She sighs and smiles sweetly. “Except for you. Just this once.”

“Better. Now, go make yourself scarce. I’ve got some charming to do.”

She probably doesn’t think I hear her whisper as I leave the room, but I do.

“Go get ’em, Jake.”

So I do.

My pocket feels heavy. I feel lopsided, like everything in me is leaning. Leaning and holding its breath.

I’ve never been more nervous. Yet I’ve never been more certain.

Over the last couple of months, Jake and I have talked about all sorts of things—our hopes and dreams, our fears and trials, our plans and timetables. Hearing him say that he wants the same things I want, one by one, has been the most amazing unfolding of my life. It’s like the dreams I’ve had since I was little were right on target, they were just missing one vital ingredient—the perfect man to tweak them just a tad.

Yes, I still want to get married. Yes, I still want to have a family. Yes, I still want a place to put down roots and call home. Yes, I still want a love that will grow better as we grow older. I still want all those things. But now, they have a face. All of them. They all revolve around Jake.

He took them and made them ours, not just mine. And he brought his own special brand of wild to them. Never have I wanted to travel and experience new things in life, but now I do. I want to take off to parts unknown and go cliff diving with Jake at my side. I want to parasail in warm Mediterranean waters and hang glide over rain forest treetops. I want to do it all. And then I want to come back home to the life we’ve built and sit in front of the fireplace on cold winter nights, and skinny-dip in the river on warm summer ones.

All my life was ever missing was Jake.

It all starts and ends with him.

I just hope that he feels the same way about me.

I’m always hoping . . .

I usher the Holts into my backyard. Jenna appears within seconds, wearing a huge smile. Mentally, I roll my eyes. She’s a shitty secret keeper!

“Can I get you two some lemonade?”

“That would be lovely,” Mrs. Holt says. Mr. Holt nods.

“This is my sister, Jenna. Jenna, Mr. and Mrs. Holt, Laney’s parents.”

“It’s a pleasure,” she says brightly, then disappears back inside to get the lemonade.

“Beautiful place you’ve got here. You’ve done a good job keeping it up after Cris passed,” Mr. Holt says. I’m sure, for someone like me, that’s his highest compliment.

“Thank you, sir. Would you like to walk the front of the orchard? It’s just right along the fence that circles the house.”

I can almost feel his sigh. “Sure.”

So enthused.

I tell him things he probably already knows as we walk from the backyard to the split-rail fence that borders the east portion of the orchard. When we stop there, I start to roll right into talk about the orchard operation, just to have something to say, but I stop myself. My patience was thin to begin with. This isn’t helping. So I just go for it.

“Mr. Holt, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”

His pause is a long one. “What’s that?”

He turns and leans back against the fence, crossing his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes on me. Anxiously, I chew the cinnamon toothpick between my teeth. Then, thinking he might see it as a sign of weakness—my nervousness—I take it out and throw it into the orchard.

“Look,” I say, running my fingers through my hair. “We both know I’ve never had the best of reputations in this town. And, in all fairness, I’ve earned most of what I’ve gotten. But I didn’t bring you here to try and explain away my past. I brought you here to talk to you about your daughter, Mr. Holt. And our future,” I say, letting my thoughts drift to Laney and all that she means to me. “The best way I can describe what Laney is to me is to say that she’s been like life. For reasons I won’t go into, I was never quite alive until I met her. I had no idea what I was missing until she came along. She loved me before I did one single thing to deserve it. And, although I don’t ever see myself being good enough for her, I can promise you one thing. I will love her and care for her better than anyone else on this earth. And that includes you. She’s everything good in me. She’s everything I could ever want. She’s everything I could ever hope to achieve in life. And I’ll spend my very last breath making sure she’s happy. There is no one else for me, sir.

“Laney gave me a chance when no one else would. She saw something in me that I didn’t even see in myself. I hope you can do the same. And, with your permission, I’d like to ask her to marry me.”

Now I’m just spent. If I weren’t waiting for an answer, and it wasn’t rude as all hell, I’d turn around and walk right back to the house and crack open a beer. But, as it is, my entire future is hanging in the balance, so I guess I’d better not.

“You know, a parent always wants certain things for their children. Safety, security, love. The best of everything. But sometimes, we can’t see what’s close to us as clearly as we think we can. I’m man enough to admit I woefully misjudged you. That was wrong, and there’s no excuse. You proved yourself to be the better man when you pulled me out of that fire just to see my daughter smile again.

“It seems I stopped teaching Laney how to be a good person, how to succeed in life, a long time ago. In fact, here lately, she’s been teaching me. With you, she reminded me to look upon a person’s heart and nothing else. Jake, regardless of your past, I know you make my daughter happy. And I believe you love her. I can’t understand how anyone couldn’t. But I’m through trying to push her into doing what I think is right. I’m learning that she’s smart enough to figure out what’s best for her. And I’ll stand by her, whatever and whoever she chooses in life.” Mr. Holt pushes away from the fence and starts to walk by me. He stops when his shoulder is even with mine—him facing the house, me facing the orchard—and he turns to clap me on the back. “It just so happens that this time, I agree with her.” With a nod and a smile, he walks a few steps beyond me and then looks back, as if he’s waiting. I exhale and move forward until I reach his side, and we walk back to the house. Together. In silence. Perfect silence.

The cookout went off without a hitch. My parents seemed happy and forgiving, which is enormously important to me where Jake is concerned. In my opinion, he should have every member of this town’s respect for what he did on the night of the fire. But I’m not worried about the whole town. I’m just worried about Daddy. I’d hate for him to make me choose between him and Jake.

He’d be disappointed by my choice.

But it seems that might not happen, if tonight is any indication. Now, the dishes are done, my parents are gone, and Jenna is waiting on the front porch for Rusty, her fiancé, to arrive.

And, for a few minutes, I have Jake all to myself.

I feel my nerves come back full force.

We’re lying in the hammock out back. Jake’s drinking a beer and chewing his toothpick at the same time. It sounds disgusting, but it’s something that I find kind of endearing now. Jake just does what he wants. He marches to whatever beat he happens to hear and like at the moment. And I love that about him.

I lean up on him, looking down into his face. His eyes are closed and his lips are curved in a little half smile.

“Jake?”

“Laney?”

I grin. “Were you serious when you said you could see yourself living out your days here?”

He cracks one eyelid open. “Why do you ask?”

Oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord! Here I go!

I push myself into a sitting position, causing the hammock to rock precariously. “Haven’t you ever heard that expression ‘don’t rock the boat’?” he asks, hanging on to the edge so it doesn’t tip him out.

“Of course. And I’m so glad we’re not in a boat right now,” I say with a grin. Jake grins back. “But I digress. So were you? Serious, I mean?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

Clearing my throat, I reach down to subconsciously pat my pocket. I don’t even realize what I’m doing until I see Jake’s eyes follow the movement. He frowns, but says nothing. “Did you mean here, as in this town? Or here, as in this place? The orchard?”