Maya Banks - Softly at Sunrise

“I heard Sam talking to him the other day on the phone,” Sophie piped up. “Sean’s been working a case in cooperation with Henry County and the state police. Sounded like a big drug ring. They’ve pulled in city and county guys for this. He’s been working a lot of long hours. Sam sounded worried about him.”

Rachel sighed. “There are times when I wish he’d go to work for KGI, but he doesn’t have the experience yet, and then I think how silly it is to think he’d be any safer going off on the kinds of missions our husbands do.”

Sarah nodded. “I understand what you mean though. It’s reassuring to think of him having that kind of back-up system, you know? We know nothing about the kind of men Sean works with currently, but we certainly know our guys would look out for him.”

“That’s exactly what I mean,” Rachel said in agreement. “I was happy when Swanny joined them.”

“Oh me too,” Shea said in a rush. “My heart just aches for him. He’s so…alone. If you only knew what he and Nathan endured…”

Her voice trailed off and her features went bleak. Rachel reached over to squeeze her hand. Shea had gone through a lot to help Nathan and Swanny escape after months of them being tortured by the enemy. She more than anyone knew precisely what the two men had suffered. She knew because she’d suffered along with them and for them.

“Mama Kelly will work him over,” Sophie said with a chuckle. “Do you see how he is around her? It’s so cute. He’s completely bemused by her. She pats him and calls him her baby, and I swear the big man just melts in a puddle at her feet.”

Everyone laughed and warmth filled Rachel’s heart. Life was good. The very best. She was surrounded by people who loved her and whom she loved with all her heart.

There wasn’t a single Kelly by birth or marriage who wouldn’t do anything he or she could to help another family member. She thought briefly of Jennifer from her class and how broken up the little girl was over her family deteriorating.

She swallowed the knot in her throat.

But by the grace of God go I.  It had been her. Only she’d gotten a second chance. Redemption.

“Do you think P.J. will come back?” Sarah asked in a quiet voice. “I’m so worried about her.”

The others fell silent.

P.J. had been instrumental in each of their lives. She’d gone on the mission to rescue Rachel from Colombia. She’d been there when Sophie had traded herself for Marlene Kelly and gone back to her madman of a father. She had been there when Sarah’s brother had died taking a bullet meant for Sarah. And she’d been instrumental in reuniting Shea with Nathan when Shea had been abducted by the people pursuing Shea and her sister, Grace. For that matter, she’d been there covering the women’s husbands when Grace had surrendered herself in order to prevent members of KGI from dying.

P.J. was a fixture of KGI. She was always there, protecting their husbands when they put their lives on the line. Rachel would never fully be able to express her gratitude to the other woman. There simply weren’t adequate words.

She just hoped she had the opportunity to try one day. P.J. had fell off the map months earlier and her team was mourning their loss. They weren’t the same without her.

“I worry about her too,” Sophie said softly.

“She’ll be back,” Shea said confidently, though her voice lacked conviction. “She’s tough and she’s a fighter. I don’t see her wimping out. She just needs time.”

Everyone nodded at that. It was a concept they were all familiar with. Time healed all wounds. Time and…love.

Sarah checked her watch and winced regretfully. “We better wrap this up soon. I know the guys have to be up early in the morning for training drills.”

“I have to be up early for work,” Rachel said in a rueful tone. She sighed. “That sounds so nice to say again.”

“Are you loving it?” Sarah asked.

“I really am,” Rachel replied. “I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I went back that first day. I love teaching. It’s a part of who I am, and I’m tired of being a different person.”

“Good for you,” Sophie said, reaching across to squeeze her hand. “We’re all so proud of you, Rachel. You’re such an example. I’m so glad my daughter has you to look up to.”

Rachel’s mouth dropped open in astonishment, and she looked at the other women like they’d lost their minds. Then she laughed because she simply couldn’t help it.

“Don’t laugh,” Sarah said in her quiet voice. “We’re all aware of your story. What you endured. How you never gave up. And how resilient you’ve been. It takes a very strong woman to endure what you did and to not only survive but to triumph over such adversity.”

“Oh God, you guys, don’t make me cry,” Rachel choked out.

She dabbed furiously at her eyes to prevent the flow of any tears.

Laughter rounded the table, breaking the serious tone that had settled over the group. They paid their checks and then headed out to the truck.

As they drove back, Rachel’s hand went unconsciously to her belly, and she marveled that she was shielding two tiny lives deep in her womb.

She couldn’t wait to tell the rest of the family. Couldn’t wait to bask in the joy of the moment. It would be her moment in the sun after a long sojourn in the shadows.

“Did you enjoy your evening out?” Ethan asked as he pulled her down against him on the couch.

She snuggled in his arms, enjoying the feel of his bare chest against her cheek.

She’d changed into another of the sexy little night outfits she knew drove him crazy, and he was wearing his boxers. She loved evenings like this when they just snuggled on the couch and watched television or even just talked about nothing at all.

“It was fun. It’s been awhile since we did anything together. Everyone’s been so busy, and Sarah and Garrett and Nathan and Shea were off on their honeymoons.”

“And we were moving,” he added.

“Yes, finally,” she said with a happy sigh.

He went still against her, his breathing soft and even, but he was tense, his muscles firm and unrelaxed. After a moment she pushed herself upward and cocked her head in a questioning manner.

“Is something wrong, Ethan?”

His brow furrowed a moment, and then he pushed up to his elbow so their faces were more level. He seemed hesitant to say what was on his mind.

“I get the impression you were eager to move,” he began.

She nodded.

“I mean I know you were excited about the new house. I guess I don’t understand…”

He drifted off and then closed his lips, almost as if he’d decided not to bring up whatever it was that was nagging him.

“What don’t you understand?” she prompted.

“I admitted that I was surprised you went with a design so dramatically different than our old house. It was almost as if you wanted nothing at all to be the same. And then you seemed so relieved when we moved out, and I’ve noticed that you’re happier since we started living here.”

She studied him a moment, hating the conversation she knew they were going to be forced to have. “That bothers you.”

She didn’t pose it as a question because it was obvious that it did bother him.

“Yeah, I guess it does,” he admitted. Then he shook his head. “It’s stupid of me. I’m just glad you’re happy. I want you to be happy.”

“I am,” she said gently.

“But you weren’t happy at the old house.”

Slowly she shook her head, knowing she couldn’t lie to him. She wouldn’t lie to him, not even to spare his feelings.

“Why?” he asked, his voice cracking with that one word.

She pushed herself upward until she’d repositioned herself so that she sat opposite him with her knees bent against his chest and her hip firmly nestled into his groin.

“You have to understand what it was like for me,” she said in a low voice. “Regaining memories at random times. And each time something came back to me, it was fresh and vibrant in my mind. As though it had just happened instead of years before. Not all of them were happy memories.”

She glanced helplessly up at him, knowing there was no way to make it any easier for him to hear.

He flinched but maintained her gaze, as if he were determined to pay his penance and not back away from the reminder of the things he’d said and done.

“Some of the worst moments of my life happened in that house,” she said, an ache in her voice. “I just felt that if we were ever truly going to have a fresh start, that we had to begin with a completely clean slate. And we have that now. A brand new home just in time for the precious babies we’ll have. A place where we can start over and make new memories to replace the painful ones.”

Moisture glimmered in Ethan’s eyes before it was blinked away. Then he pulled her down, his hand cupping the back of her neck. Their foreheads touched and then their mouths.

“I love you,” he said, his voice clogged with regret and so much pain.

“I love you too,” she whispered back.

“This house will hold only happy memories for you,” he vowed. “For you and me and the babies. We’ll start right.”

She smiled. “Yeah, we will.”

“We haven’t yet christened the new bedroom,” he said, his voice husky and laced with suggestion.

“Mmm, however did we miss out on that?”

“It’s an error I have to correct immediately.”

“I agree.”

He sat up and then scooted down the couch so he could get up without sending her sprawling. Then he simply reached down and plucked her from the sofa.