“I am sure you are right.”

The conversation went along on conventional lines. I gathered Miss Grey had recently come to Edinburgh. Her home had been in London.

“And what do you think of our Scottish ways?” my father asked almost playfully.

“I think they are divine,” she answered.

I glanced at him, wondering whether he would think this blasphemous in some way. It was a strange word to use. But she lowered her eyes so that the fanlike black lashes lay demurely against her skin; the full red lips smiled and the little nose and long upper lip looked more kittenish than ever. My father’s look was indulgent. His lips twitched a little as they used to when my mother said something which amused him and at the same time shocked him a little.

“I hope,” he said, “that you will continue to do so.” I left them together over coffee in the drawing room. It was an extraordinary evening. Everything seemed so different now … even my father.

DURING THE NEXT WEEKS, although I spent a good deal of time with Zillah Grey, I felt I did not really learn a great deal about her. She seemed like two different people … no, more than two. She appeared to be able to slip into different personalities with the greatest of ease. With my father she played the ladylike person who is suddenly confronted with the need to earn a living. That was characteristic of most governesses; but with her it was different. They were usually quietly retiring, very much aware of their reduced circumstances, unsure where they belonged, poised between upstairs and down. Zillah Grey, although she had a habit of lowering her eyes, did not strike me as modest. I suspected she did it because it was an excellent way of calling attention to those long thick eyelashes. She was certainly not without guile. She knew exactly how to behave with my father and he approved of her wholeheartedly.

With me her attitude was more volatile. Sometimes she threw off all pretence. She would laugh uproariously and I noticed her accent changed a little—her words became more racy.

It soon became clear that there were to be no set lessons.

“What I have to do is prepare you for society, so your father tells me,” she announced.

I was amazed. I could not imagine her being a great success in Edinburgh society, or even being accepted into it. What was she going to teach me?

I asked her what I needed to know.

“Clothes for one thing,” she said. “You have to make the best of yourself. You could be quite good-looking.”

“Could be?” I said. “Surely one either is or one isn’t?”

She winked at me. She had a habit of doing that when she was in certain moods. “That’s one of the things I’m going to teach you. Oh, we’re going to have a lot of fun together.”

She said I ought to learn to dance. “Ballroom dancing, of course,” she added. “Is there anyone here who can play the piano?”

“I don’t think so. I’ve had lessons. Miss Milne, my last governess, played well.”

“Well, you can’t play and dance at the same time, can you? I’ll have to see what we can do about that. I can knock out a bit of a tune myself. I wonder if there’s someone who could partner you.”

“You mean one of the maids?”

“We’ll see about that. I’ll teach you how to walk.”

“To walk?”

“Gracefully. How to make the best of yourself.”

“What about lessons … books and all that?”

She wrinkled her kitten’s nose and laughed. “We’ll see about that, shall we?”

She made her own rules. Often she went out and stayed out for several hours. I had no idea where she went.

“It’s a funny way of going on, if you ask me,” said Mrs. Kirkwell. “I mentioned it to the master and got a flea in my ear for my pains. I don’t know what the world’s coming to.”

It was certainly a strange situation.

Only a week after she arrived she asked that the carriage should take her somewhere one afternoon. Hamish arrived at the door just as though she were a member of the family.

The Kirkwells were watching from one of the windows when I came upon them.

“What’s all this about?” she was demanding of her husband, unaware of my presence.

“It’s a wee bit fishy to me,” he replied.

Then they saw me.

“That Miss Grey’s gone off in the carriage,” said Mrs. Kirkwell.

“Yes, I know.”

“Seems to think she owns the place. I wonder what the master will have to say about this.”

She need not have wondered, for nothing was said.

During the carriage drive she must have decided that Hamish would make a dancing partner for me.

When she sent for him I was horrified. I had always found Hamish repulsive and the intimacy of the dance would be most unpleasant. I could not shut out the image of him with Kitty on the bed.

Miss Grey demonstrated the dance, first with me and then with Hamish. She sang as she danced and I had to admit that she did it with the utmost grace. She floated by herself … her arms outstretched, muttering: “See. One two, one two three … the lady turns … the gentleman guides her … there. Let me try it with you, Hamish, while Davina watches. Then I’ll take Davina while you watch … then you two can do it together. Oh dear, I wish we had someone who could play the piano.”

She turned to me and held me loosely. She smelt of musk and attar of roses. I could see her white teeth and greedy lips closely—but it was wonderful to dance with her. It was much less so with Hamish.

He grinned at me. I believe he understood my feelings and they amused him.

I could have enjoyed the dancing lessons but for Hamish.

Mrs. Kirkwell was shocked when she heard that he was my partner in these lessons—so much so that she bearded my father in his study to tell him what was going on.

She was so bemused and indignant when she emerged that she forgot my youth for once and while I was present told Bess what had taken place.

“I said to him, ‘There he was … dancing with Miss Davina … that man who was as much to blame as Kitty for what happened.’ And what do you think he said to me? He said, very cold like, ‘I wish to hear no more of the matter, Mrs. Kirkwell.’ I spoke up bold as brass because I knew it were the right and proper thing to do. I said to him, ‘Well, sir, to see that man holding Miss Davina … as they have to do in this dance … well, it’s more than flesh and blood can stand after …’

He wouldn’t let me finish. He said: ‘I trust Miss Grey to do what is best for my daughter. She needs a dancing partner for the practise apparently and he is the only young man available. That is an end to the matter.’ He was as cold as a fish. Well, there’s nothing more I can do. But I’ve made my feelings known and I reckon I’ve done my duty.”

And Hamish continued to practise with me.

There were a great many demonstrations, though, and Miss Grey danced more often with Hamish than I did.

I had a letter from Lilias.

My dear Davina,

I am very unhappy. I feel I have brought a blight on my family. Sometimes I cannot believe this has happened and I am filled with hatred towards that person who played that trick on me—for I am sure it was a trick. Someone must have hated me almost as much as I hate that person now, although I don’t know whom I am hating.

My father has been wonderful. He makes me pray with him. He says I must forgive this enemy, but I cannot, Davina. I feel this wicked person has ruined my life.

I know you believe me and that gives me great comfort. But I am home now and I shall never be able to take another post. This terrible stigma will hang over me for ever.

I am helping Alice and Jane at the moment and Alice is going to take a post as governess … so I shall step into her shoes. I shall remain at the vicarage. Although my family believe in me, I am very unhappy. I should be grateful for their trust, I know, and I am, but I suffer still from this malicious accusation.

I saw Kitty the other day. She is settling in at Lakemere House, which is one of the two big houses here—the other being the Manor. Kitty seemed to be getting along quite well. We are the two disgraced ones, but I think she will be better able to get over her shameful humiliation, even though guilty, than I, innocent, ever shall be.

My dear Davina, I shall always remember you. Write to me and tell me how you are getting on. Perhaps we shall be able to meet one day.

All happiness to you and my love,

LlLIAS

I wrote back.

Dear Lilias,

Thank you for your letter which I was delighted to receive. I think of you a great deal. I am going to try and find out who did that terrible thing. You know where my suspicions are, but I can’t think of a reason.

I loathe him. He has been brought in by my new governess to partner me. I am learning dancing and need a partner. There isn’t anyone else, Miss Grey says. I could enjoy dancing lessons but for that.

Miss Grey is the new governess. She came very soon after you left. It is hard to describe her because she is more than one person. She is beautiful in a way that makes people look at her. She has reddish hair and green eyes. My father seems to approve of her. That surprised me because we don’t do lessons in the ordinary way. She tells me what to wear … how I should walk … and, of course, I am learning to dance. I think it is a sort of preparation for launching me into society. I’m getting old, I suppose.

Oh, Lilias, how I miss you! I wish you could come back.

My love as ever,

DAVINA

MISS GREY said I was not to wear black anymore.