Her head was spinning. He’d given everything he had, and he wanted the same from her. He wanted her to fight for what she wanted.
Made sense. Made a lot of sense. It’s what any good, strong leading lady would do.
“So,” Benny said. “The cottage is a total loss.”
“No duh,” Chloe said. “Now tell us something we don’t know.”
“The fire department believes the fire originated with a set of old faulty Christmas lights that were strung…” He consulted his clipboard. “On a dead plant of some sort in the living room.”
Tara snorted.
Maddie closed her eyes. Poor Charlie Brown Christmas tree, may you rest in peace…
“Anyway,” the adjuster went on. “The inn isn’t as bad as it looks. The bedrooms upstairs need a complete renovation, new carpeting, walls and bathroom replacement. New roof. But the downstairs is all cosmetic and can be cleaned. You’re in decent shape there.”
They were in decent shape. Good to know.
Step into the ring.
Jax thought she was a fighter. That hadn’t always been anywhere close to true. She’d let life happen to her. She’d gone with the flow.
She hated the flow. The flow was working like a dog at a go-nowhere job, trying to please too many people who didn’t care. She was done with going with the flow. She wanted to be a fighter. “Excuse me,” she said to Benny. “But the downstairs is water damaged, so we’re not in ‘decent’ shape there. We expect proper compensation.”
Tara raised a brow, like Go, kitten. Show him those claws.
Chloe out-and-out grinned and gave her a thumbs up. “You heard my sister,” she said to Benny. “We expect proper compensation. You go back and tell your people that.”
“Actually, we’re on the same side,” Benny said and made some more notes on his computerized clipboard. Maddie was dizzy. She was heartsick. She was out of control, but she was having some serious clipboard envy. She needed a clipboard like that. She also needed to fight for her new life. “We’ll need rental compensation, as well.”
“Of course,” Benny said.
She blinked. Was it really that easy? Say what you want, get what you want? Jax had suggested it was, and it’d always seemed to work for Tara.
Benny looked over his clipboard. “I figure we can get all the paperwork taken care of by next week and get you a check to get started.”
“And I figure today or tomorrow would be better,” Maddie said smoothly. “Bless your heart.”
Tara grinned. Grinned. Maddie took in the rare sight and returned it.
Benny went back to his clipboard, his ears red. “Tomorrow. How’s tomorrow?”
“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Chloe said. “Thank you.” She beamed at him.
Benny looked a little stunned. “Uh… You’re welcome.”
Chloe walked him to his truck, then came back with a piece of paper in her hand.
“Are you kidding me-you got his phone number?” Tara asked. “He’s barely twelve. I bet they haven’t even dropped yet.”
“Hey,” Chloe said. “Don’t talk about my future boyfriend’s balls. He was cute, and Maddie scared the hell out of him.”
“I thought you thought Lance was cute,” Tara said. “And his brother.”
“Uh-huh. And your point?”
“And Officer Hottie. Sawyer, right? You were looking at him the other night like you wanted to eat him up alive.”
“If I was looking at him at all, I was planning his slow, painful death. Did you hear what we were just told? We’re getting a big fat check tomorrow.” Chloe looked at each of them. “Our plan?”
“Big fat checks divide into three nicely,” Tara noted.
“True.” Chloe nodded. “I guess that means by this time tomorrow, we’re cut loose.” She smiled. “You guys will miss me. Say it.”
Maddie tried to sit there calm and in control, but suddenly it was all too much. The fire. The terrifying escape. Tara’s revelation, making her realize that she’d misdirected her emotions. Her sisters all gung ho to take the check and run. Jax saying those three little words that she’d never heard before, three words that meant so much more than she’d imagined they could. Her heart clenched hard. “I’m the middle sister,” she said softly, then repeated it more strongly.
“Very good,” Chloe said. “Can you say the alphabet, too?”
“As the middle, I’m the logical choice for mediator. We have decisions to make, and they get made right now. Majority rules.” She looked at each of them. “We walk away or rebuild. We’re voting, now. Youngest first.”
Chloe pulled out an iTouch, which Lance had lent her in the hospital, and brought up a Magic 8-Ball application. “Magic 8-Ball,” she intoned with great ceremony. “Should I stay here in Lucky Harbor?”
Maddie was boggled. “What? You can’t leave your vote up to a Magic 8-Ball!”
“I can’t?”
“No!” But Maddie bit her lip, trying to see the iTouch screen. “What did it say?”
Chloe looked down and sighed. “Outlook not so good. Just as well. I’m ready to blow this popsicle stand anyway.”
Disappointment practically choking her, Maddie turned to Tara.
Tara held her hand out for Chloe’s iTouch. “Let me see that thing.”
“You aren’t serious.” Maddie’s throat felt like she’d swallowed shards of glass. “Please say you’re not serious.”
“Okay. I’m not serious.” Tara reached for Maddie’s hand, her smile a little watery. “I vote we stay here.”
“Me, too,” Chloe said. “I was only kidding before. We can’t leave now. Things are just getting good.”
“Two yeses,” Tara said. “Maddie?”
She was dizzy, overwhelmed, and confused as hell.
“Aw, look at her,” Tara murmured. “Like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
“She’s got fear written all over her,” Chloe agreed. “Definitely a high flight risk. Makes me wonder if she wanted us to vote the other way.”
“Huh,” Tara said, nodding. “Interesting. You mean she wanted us to make the decision for her so she didn’t have to be accountable?”
“Exactly.”
“I’m right here,” Maddie said. “I can hear you.”
“You know what you need?” Chloe asked. “You need to get over yourself.”
“Hey,” Maddie said. “When you first showed up here with your bad ’tude, did I tell you to get over it?”
“Yes, actually. Several times.”
Okay, true. Maddie turned on a smug Tara and narrowed her eyes. “And you.”
“Me? What did I do?”
“I gave you sympathy. I want sympathy!”
“Are you kidding me? You have the sexiest man on the planet wanting you. You’re getting laid regularly. No sympathy for you!”
Maddie stood up. “I need some fresh air.”
“Last time you said that, you went to the bar, got toasted, and kissed a hottie.”
Halfway to the door, Maddie came back and snatched Chloe’s iTouch out of her hands. “And I need this.”
Just outside, she closed her eyes and whispered, “Am I going to get it right this time?”
The iTouch clouded and then cleared with her answer:
Ask again later
Dammit! She shoved the thing in her pocket and got into her car. She drove along the beach, which was dense with fog. The water was gray and choppy today, an endless cycle of unrestrained violence.
Sort of how her gut felt.
Somehow she ended up at the pier, ticket in hand, staring up at the Ferris wheel. Do it, the brave little voice in her head said.
Live.
Which is how she found herself in the swinging seat, clinging to the bar in front of her, her legs like jelly as she rose in the air.
And-oh, shit-rose some more.
And more…
And then, when she was as high as she could go-and not breathing-the Ferris wheel stuttered to a stop.
Her heart did the same.
Around her, the few others on the wheel with her gasped and woo-hoo’d their delight.
She wasn’t feeling delight. She was feeling stark terror. Whose idea had this been? What the hell had she been thinking? Life was just as good on the ground!
She tried to look at that ground, but her forward motion had the bucket tilting forward, and she felt her head spin. “Oh, God, oh, God-” She had a death grip on the bar now. She couldn’t feel her legs at all. And her stomach was sitting in her throat, blocking all air from coming through.
Stop looking down. Forcing her head up, she stared out at the view. It was incredible. If she discounted the vertigo, that is. From this high, she had a three-hundred-sixty-degree vista of the sparkling Pacific Ocean and the rocky shores for as far as she could see.
And the town. She could see all of Lucky Harbor from here, and it was as pretty as a postcard. It was a perspective she never would have appreciated had she not faced her fear and come up here.
Okay, so she hadn’t quite overcome the fear, and she was a minute from hyperventilating, but she’d get there.
Thing was, she had a lot of fears to overcome. She had a lot of “roads not taken,” or “rides not taken.” There’d been things she’d convinced herself she couldn’t do.
For instance, she’d convinced herself her mother hadn’t been interested in more of a relationship. It was too late for what-ifs on that one, but what about her sisters? It didn’t seem too late for them, even though she’d told herself that they hadn’t wanted her in their lives. The truth was, she hadn’t reached out, either, and she could have. She should have.
She’d done the same to Jax. He might not have been forthright, not completely, but he’d shown her from the beginning how he felt, without words. He’d pushed her to want more-more of the truth from him, more of everything. Why hadn’t she wanted to hear it?
Fear. She’d let it rule her.
That had to change. If she lived through this stupid ride.
Just as she thought it, the Ferris wheel jerked and her bucket swung as the ride started moving again. And ten minutes later, after she’d gone around three times and finally had her feet firmly back on the ground, she grinned.
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