“No, I’m fine, I-”
“You’re going,” Jax said, willing to out-stubborn her. “I’ll take you.”
Maddie opened her eyes when the Jeep came to a stop. It wasn’t quite dawn, and the sky was still inky black.
Christmas morning.
For a minute she sat still, remembering the panic of waking up choking on smoke, the flames licking at the bedroom door, and watching Chloe fight for air…
God. Chloe was okay, or she would be. At the hospital, they’d learned she was being held overnight for smoke inhalation. Tara was staying with her, and Maddie could have, as well, but Jax had stepped in. “She’s coming with me.”
Four simple words that had filled Maddie’s head while the nurse had cleaned and dressed her wounds-no stitches required, thankfully-and then given her a pair of scrubs to wear.
She’d been too numb and tired to argue with Jax.
No, that wasn’t true. She was tired, to-the-bone exhausted, but she could have still argued. After all, she had no reason to go home with him.
Except she didn’t want to be alone in a hospital chair.
She wanted to be held.
She wanted to feel safe.
The Jeep’s heater had been on her full blast as they left the hospital, but she was still shivering. She felt like her teeth were going to rattle right out of her head. Jax had driven with his left hand, keeping his right hand on her, rubbing up and down her thigh, squeezing her icy fingers with his warm ones.
The passenger door opened, and she jerked.
“Just me,” Jax murmured, having exited the Jeep and come around for her. Crouching at her side, he unhooked her seat belt and held her for a moment, fiercely, before lifting her into his arms.
“I can walk,” she said, even though she made no attempt to do just that.
“Pretend you still believe I’m that superhero.”
With a sigh, she looped her arms around his neck and pressed her face to his throat, breathing him in. The scent of him filled her, and her burning throat tightened.
She already missed him. Letting out a shuddery breath, she kept her eyes closed as she heard him open his front door and make a low comment to a sleepy Izzy. A few moments later, he let her feet slide to the floor.
Because she was still barefoot, she could tell she was on tile. But this tile was deliciously warm thanks to his heated floors.
Keeping one arm around her, he leaned away for a beat, and she heard the shower go on. “You’re shaking,” he said.
“I think that’s you.”
“Maybe.”
She opened her eyes and found his, dark and shadowed with concern.
“Do you know how fast that fire moved?” he asked. “How much of a miracle it is you all got out?” He ran a hand over his eyes. “Christ, Maddie. If you hadn’t woken up when you did…”
Her heart caught at his raw voice. “But I did,” she whispered, reaching for him. “I’m okay, Jax. Look at me. I’m indestructible, apparently.”
“Resilient,” he said and tilted her face up, looking at her from fathomless eyes. “Strong and giving and resilient.”
She thought about the things that meant so much to her and could count them with the fingers on one hand. Her sisters. The inn.
Jax.
And all of it was in jeopardy. “I’m still mad at you,” she whispered.
“I know.”
She pressed a hand to her heart, which ached more than her cuts and bruises, and then to his. “I don’t want to be alone tonight. Today. Whatever it is.” Words failed her past that. She wanted comfort, and she wanted to feel alive, and she knew he could provide both.
“You need to get in the shower and warm up.”
“With you.”
Pressing his forehead to hers, he let out a slow breath. His hands, when he lifted them to her, were careful on her body as he stripped her out of the scrub top, taking in each and every one of her cuts and bruises. Then he slid the bottoms down her legs and paused at the sight of her Supergirl bikini panties. “Did I ever tell you,” he murmured, dropping to his knees to press a kiss to her bruised hip, “that I’m pretty convinced you have your own superpowers?”
Bending her head to take in the top of his, she gave him a shaky smile that she knew didn’t make it to her eyes. “What are they?”
“The power to get past all my walls…”
“Jax.” She closed her eyes as he hooked his thumbs in the sides of the undies to slowly drag them down. She gasped when her world tilted as he picked her up and deposited her into the shower. He stepped in behind her and, without a word, washed her hair and then her body, quickly and efficiently.
She could feel him behind her, hard and aroused, but his touch remained gentle and soothing. It was just as well. With exhaustion sneaking up on her again, she could do little more than lean against him.
The next thing she knew, the water was shut off, and he wrapped her in a big, soft towel. He redressed her cuts, drew one of his own big, soft T-shirts over her head, and placed her on his bed.
She heard him move to the door. “Jax-”
“Sleep.”
“ ’Kay.” She listened to him moving around the house for a while. His phone rang, and she heard him quietly telling someone he had her.
He had her.
It was true, she realized. He had her heart and soul…
No. That wasn’t right. He’d held back from her. Was still holding back…
Or was that her?
God, she was so confused, and tired…
“Sleep,” he said again, back in the room now, running a hand down her arm.
She caught his fingers in hers. “Stay,” she said, tightening her fingers on his.
“Always.” The mattress dipped beneath his weight, and then she was carefully scooped up against his big, warm body. Their legs were entangled like it was the most natural thing in the world, as if they’d been sleeping together for years. His touch slid over her like a soothing balm, making her ache from deep inside, making her shiver for more. “Just for tonight,” she whispered, snuggling in, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear.
Just for tonight.
Another lie, of course. She’d fallen for him, just as she’d fallen for her sisters, for the inn. And she was losing them all, one by one. She felt the sting of tears against her closed eyelids and, to hide them, buried her face into his throat.
His hands slowly stroked over her body, tender but sure. She knew he was offering comfort, but she took more, pressing in closer, anticipation humming through her. They were on their sides facing each other, and she drew a leg over his. Rocking her hips, she let the very tip of him, velvet over steel, slide into her.
He groaned roughly and tightened his grip on her, holding her still. “Maddie. You’re hurt-”
She impaled herself, and, with another groan, he rolled her beneath him, filling her so entirely she saw stars. Bending low, his lips rested on the strong pulse in her throat, and she both felt and heard her name on a whispered breath.
Restless, she ran her hands down his back, digging her fingers into him, urging him on. Lifting his head, he held her gaze prisoner as he began to move within her, long, slow, delicious thrusts, a mind-blowing grinding of his hips. On the edge, her eyes began to drift shut in sheer, numbing pleasure.
“No, look at me. Feel me. Feel us.”
Opening her eyes, she looked right at him. She saw her life, her heart echoed in his eyes, and she burst in a kaleidoscope of colors and emotion, unlike anything she’d ever felt.
When she could breathe again, he was waiting for her, still hard inside her. His forearms were alongside her face, his hands cupping her head. “I love you,” he said, honest and sure, more a vow than a confession as he thrust into her and came, sending her spiraling again.
It was the last thing she remembered before sleep claimed her.
Twice she woke them both up with nightmares, hyperventilating and caught up in the sense of being trapped. In between the dreams, she tossed and turned.
Jax would have fought her demons for her if he could, she knew that by the way he spent the hours holding her close. It was close to noon before she woke up fully, and she opened her eyes to find Jax watching her.
“It’s gone,” she said, voice still a little hoarse. She knew her eyes were puffy and red, and that her hair had to be as wild as ever. “It’s Christmas, and it’s all gone.”
Propping his head up on his hand, he used his other to tug her in close. “Yes.”
Closing her eyes, she swallowed hard and pressed her face into his chest, her scratched-up arm gliding up to hook around his neck. She felt her tears wet both of their skin, and he made a low sound of regret. “You’ll rebuild,” he said.
She shook her head.
“There’s fire insurance on the property.”
It wasn’t the words that set her off. It was the reality that he’d always known more about all of this than she did, even though it was her life. Not his fault, not her fault, she got that. It was no one’s fault, but it didn’t make it any easier.
Worse, even if they rebuilt, they’d still sell, because that’s what her sisters wanted. Majority rules.
It devastated her.
As did knowing that walking away meant walking from Jax, too. She rolled out of the bed and began jerking on clothes. His clothes.
“Let me guess,” he said. “You just remembered you’re mad at me.”
Mad? More like confused as hell. She turned to the door, wearing his sweatpants, a Henley, and her heart in tatters on the sleeve.
“Maddie.” He snagged her hand in his, halting her progress.
“I’m going to call a cab to go to the hospital.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked. “I’ll take you.”
He drove her in silence, not saying a word until she went to get out of the Jeep. Taking her hand in his, he brought it up to his mouth and kissed her bandaged palm. “You used to be afraid of me, and I understood that. But now it feels like you’re afraid of what you feel for me. Of what I feel for you. And that I don’t understand. Not one bit, Maddie.”
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