"I met Chris out on Ridge Trail. We became... friends. She knew that I couldn't remember. She said some things about you, told me some things that you had told her, and bits and pieces started coming back. But Annie, I didn't want them to come back. Not when I realized what it might be. But they came and I remembered everything and I just wanted... to die."

"Jessie ..."

"And when I remembered, I couldn't stay here another minute. I had to get away."

Annie didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. She just watched this woman with tears in her eyes stare back at her.

"I spent two weeks alone in my apartment. I went back over everything and I realized that I wasn't to blame and you weren't to blame. It was just him," she said quietly. "And so I had to come back to see you. To tell you why I left all those years ago."

When Annie reached out this time, Jessie didn't pull away. She cleared her throat before speaking, hoping her voice would follow.

"I'm so, so sorry. I should have realized. Maybe deep down, I..."

"No. You can't blame yourself. It was him, not you."

"Now what do we do?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know," Jessie said. "Is it too late to start over?"

"Of course not. You can stay here with me," she said without thinking.

But Jessie shook her head.

"I don't think so, Annie. Neither of us are ready for that. I've got a cabin rented until mid-December."

"Mary Ruth's?"

"Yes."

"Is it close to Chris?"

"Yes."

"Good. She can be a good friend, Jessie. She has been to me."

"I know. I probably wouldn't be here today if I'd never met her," Jessie admitted. But she didn't know if Chris wanted to be a friend to her anymore.

"She came back here yesterday, after she took you home," Annie said. "She was worried about me."

Jessie nodded. "I thought she might."

"She told me a little about your time here in August. I think she's worried about you, too."

Jessie nodded. Maybe.

"I've had about enough for one day, Jessie. How about lunch?"

"Yes." Jessie, too, felt drained. And relieved. She had been preparing herself for this day for nearly two months and it had been easier than she thought it ever could be. Annie had simply accepted everything she had to say and expected no other explanations. They could never undo what Jack had done, but they could start fresh with each other.

"The table is already set. Just grab yourself a bowl there," she said, pointing to the two stacked on the counter.

They filled their bowls and took them into the dining room, where Annie had already placed hot French bread. Jessie had taken several bites before she realized there was no meat in the stew.

"Are you a vegetarian?"

"Yes. It'll do you good," she said, motioning to the stew.

"For how long?"

"Nearly seventeen years now," she said with a smile.

"No wonder Chris enjoys having dinner with you," Jessie said.

"Well, I like to think it's my company as well as my cooking."

"I didn't mean it like that, Annie," Jessie said quickly. "I know how Chris feels about you."

"Yes, Chris and I get along well, despite the differences in our ages. She's been very kind to me. Roger Hamilton brought her around one day. Do you remember Roger?"

"Yes. Has he been here all these years?"

"Oh, no. He went to Tahoe for awhile. Then Yellowstone. When he came back here, he looked me up. He was a lifesaver," she said.

"Chris says you don't go into town," Jessie stated.

"No. I withdrew for awhile, and it became a habit. If I needed something, I went to Sacramento or San Francisco. Then Roger came back and started bringing me groceries and I made fewer and fewer trips to the city. But it was my choice, Jessie. I've managed."

There were so many things Jessie wanted to ask, but she thought she would save that for another day. After lunch, Annie asked if she wanted to look around the house, but Jessie declined. She wasn't ready for that.


Chapter Thirty

Chris and Roger were sharing a booth at the Rock House. Chris shoved her plate away and reached for her beer instead. It had been a slow day. She and Bobby had taken their cross-country skis out, but there wasn't enough snow in most places to actually ski. The clear skies and rising temperatures had turned the snow to slush and they ended up hiking back down in their ski boots.

"If you're going to eat here, McKenna, you should just stick to potatoes. What the hell was that, anyway?"

"I don't know. I only recognized the pasta," she said.

"Maybe you could at least do chicken, McKenna."

Chris ignored him. She wasn't in the mood for his teasing tonight. Her mind was with Annie and Jessie, where it had been all day. She had picked up the phone a half dozen times to call Annie, but she convinced herself that it really wasn't any of her business. This was between Annie and Jessie. If they needed her, they knew where she was. And apparently they didn't.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Roger."

"You've hardly said two words tonight, McKenna. What, the snow got you down?"

"What snow? It'll be gone by tomorrow," she said.

"Yeah. Probably back to Indian Summer. Hasn't this weather been something?" he asked. "It's been decades since we've had this little snow at this time of year."

"Are you so anxious to get into winter? After what happened last year?"

"That's what you're here for," he reminded her.

They both looked up when the door opened and Roger showed his surprise as the woman approached them.

"My God, it's her," he whispered. "I can't believe it."

Jessie walked purposefully to their booth, then casually shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans.

"What the hell were you eating, McKenna?"

Chris smiled and raised her eyebrows at Jessie.

"I wish I knew." Then she moved over. "Sit down," she offered.

"Do you mind?"

"Of course not. Do you remember Roger Hamilton?" she asked as Jessie slid in next to her.

"Mr. Hamilton, it's been a long time."

"Jessie Stone," Roger said, sticking out his hand. "Your pictures don't do you justice."

Chris noticed the light blush that crept up Jessie's face, and she laughed.

"Don't give her a big head, Roger."

"Be quiet," Jessie murmured and nudged Chris with her leg.

Roger raised his hand as Martha walked by.

"A couple of beers for the ladies, please," he said.

"Ladies?" Martha asked. "That's McKenna you're talking about."

Chris endured their laughter, and she leaned her elbows on the table.

"I think she hates me," she said.

"I think she has a crush on you," Roger countered.

"Don't you have to get going?" Chris asked.

"Yes, I do," he said. Then he turned to Jessie. "I'm glad you're back. Have you seen Annie yet?"

Jessie was stunned by his question, then realized that Chris had most likely told him about this summer.

"I actually saw her today."

"Good. Well, I'll leave you two to talk, then."

"I'm sure Chris will fill you in later," Jessie said lightly.

Chris and Roger exchanged glances.

"I didn't mean..."

"It's okay," Jessie said. "Small towns and all. I'd forgotten."

"No offense," Roger said. "But you being here is big news, although I don't think anyone knows except me and Ellen," he said. "Annie's a good friend of mine."

"Yes, I know. No offense taken."

Roger hesitated, then glanced again at Chris.

"See you tomorrow, Roger," Chris said.

After Martha brought over fresh mugs, Chris turned to Jessie.

"I had to tell someone," she explained. "And it couldn't be Annie."

"It's okay. I'm not really in hiding anymore."

"How did it go today?" Chris finally asked.

"It was... good, I think. We talked about a lot of things," Jessie said.

"Did you tell her?"

"Yes. And we had a good cry." Jessie put her elbows on the table and regarded Chris. "It's funny, really. I spent so many years hating her and now I can't even muster up resentment anymore. And I think I like her."

Chris nodded, surprised at how easily Jessie had accepted what had happened to her all those years ago.

"I was actually a little worried about you two today," Chris admitted.

"Just a little?" Jessie teased.

Chris shrugged. "But I told myself that it really wasn't any of my business."

"McKenna, I know you care about Annie. She's quite fond of you, too. In fact, we talked about you some."

"Oh?"

But Jessie didn't elaborate. She sipped from her beer instead. She had gone to Chris's cabin earlier, looking for her. She thought that she wanted to talk, to tell her everything that she and Annie had discussed. That's why she had driven to the Rock House, hoping to find Chris here. But she didn't want to turn their light conversation into a heavy discussion of her life. She was talked out. She was enjoying the easy companionship that Chris was offering tonight. There wasn't even a hint of the bitterness in Chris's eyes that she'd found the other day when they saw each other.

"You know, McKenna, you know more about me and my life than anyone else. And I don't know a thing about you," Jessie said, inviting Chris to tell her a little about herself. She really just wanted to spend some normal time around her, and she wasn't blind to the attraction she felt for her. Every time their thighs brushed, she felt it. She wondered if Chris could feel it, too. She wondered if Chris would allow herself to feel it.